Last night i was up late watching the hockey game and my wife had left her key to my cage lying next to the couch. I had been drinking some so maybe my judgement was a little off. I ended up unlocking myself and started in with some unauthorized self pleasure. I only did it for a few minutes and didn't have an orgasm. i felt bad and locked myself back up and went to bed. I told her about it today and she said she doesn't know what punishment i should have. she said i should be thinking about it. I feel really terrible. she is so gracious to hold my key for me and i have betrayed her. What do you think i deserve? P.S. I've been locked for a week. She was going to let me out today but obviously not now and she is leaving to visit her parents friday.
I think and ruined orgasm is called for and the for the cum to be used as a delicious source over your next meal. And perhaps 10 goes of the flogger just for good measure.
Well either Mistress is VERY careless with your key, or you were being tested. If She was careless, tsk, tsk. slaves will be slaves and strong verbal abuse should be it. BUT, if you were being tested, and you obviously failed the test, then more severe punishment is in order. Credit should be given however for you owning up to it. Could have been a smart move on your part. Never know, She may have been watching or you were under electronic monitoring. Since you were not caught in the act and owned up to it, I agree with Slave Kris. Cum gravy, and mild flogging. 10 goes is a cake walk.
I dont think it was a test. she just didn't imagine i would do that. She was tired and the necklace was bothering her a little so she took it off and set it next to her. when she got up to go to bed she forgot it was there. She told me today that she will be much more careful to always have it with her so i never do this again. I am nervous about her punishing me but skeptical that she will do much. I need to be chastised more severely i feel in order to become a better husband but she just has a hard time following through with anything too severe. Maybe i can communicate to her how i'm feeling and let her know that i really need her to punish me in a way that will genuinely make me want to obey. I dont think a light flogging is gonna do it either.
I think I'd be tempted to find myself a hockey stick to give you that beating with! :haha4: Punishment should always fit the crime.
I'd say "it depends". With punishment, it's best to have it pre agreed depending on your circumstances and where both you and your wife are on your journey ("cum gravy" being perhaps a step too far... what a evocative term ..ewwwwww). The greatest punishment your wife could bestow by the way is to simply hand you your key back and say that she isn't playing anymore and if you want to orgasm so much that you cheat on your side of the agreement, get on with it fella. Think about that really carefully when you cheat. Key holding takes time, creativity and effort. If you aren't doing your bit, then why should she bother? Bear in mind always that "Chastisement", severe or otherwise is absolutely up to your wife who will gain in confidence as she gets more comfortable with what you are doing so you need to expect less and accept exactly where she is with all this. If she is reading this, it takes time and confidence to change but she is the boss. From my perspective, my hub knows where my key is when we are both at home and could cheat but knows that if he was caught, the punishment would be very severe and can range from a damn good paddling with a hairbrush to a prolonged forced orgasm session which he fears. My reasoning behind this is that if I force him to do what he craves under unpleasant circumstances, it's not unlike aversion therapy. His orgasms are my gift to him alone and any other type is a very poor substitute. Being forced to masturbate on the hour whilst being hit with a riding crop whilst kneeling on hard concrete in a dirty, drafty cold garage seemed to be a highly effective way of training this into him. That might be a bit extreme at this stage for your wife who needs to travel at her own pace so let her draw her own conclusions as she knows you better than anyone else.
Excellent responses! I particularly like Celtic Queens, response too. Perhaps a round of undesirable orgasms will train the desireableness out of you. For my money though, you didn't do anything too wrong. You saw a chance, and took it.. but before you could do anything wrong you realised the error of your ways, and even went on to admit it to your Mistress. That to me, says you know more about what it means to her, than you did before you erred. The only thing you could have done better would have been to not unlock yourself, and to present the key on a tray with breakfast and a little note: "I think you forgot something last night, I didn't."
If i may, Celtic Queen is "right on". you caught yourself because you know the rules and you didn't live up to them. Forced orgams or stoking in front of your Queen as She makes negative remarks about your lack of selfcontrol would be fitting. Then back to lockup. She takes the key with Her on trip.
Celtic Queen, thank you for your insight here. I can say that i know part of the reason i did it was to get her to punish me in some manner. I actually did feel terrible about doing it though. I was surprised the shame i felt when i told her i unlocked myself. She is not one much for punishment. Your right, cum gravy is a bit too far out for her right now and she hasn't been one to want to hurt me much, even if she thinks i did something bad. I am a fairly strong willed person and need her to break me in some manner. I was hoping this would encourage a step in that direction. At any rate, she told me when i got home that she knew my punishment but i would not know until it happened, after the kids are asleep. Once they were asleep she said, "ok, you go to the kitchen and get me a wooden spoon and come to the bedroom." I thought, "wow, she is gonna paddle my ass with a spoon." she was kneeling on the bed and reached our her hand for the spoon. "Drop, em." she said. I pulled down my pants to reveal the pink thong i was wearing and started to lay face down on the bed. She immediately put her and up and said, "ah ah, not that way." I was like, how else would i lay. She said, "drop the panties and lay down on your back. Im not spanking your butt." I was like oh crap. she held my cb by the end and lifted it skyward, revealing each of my swollen testicles pushing out to each side. she then gave me 5 good whacks on each one, they stung pretty good. She said, 'your done, put your panties back on." I did and when i looked up she was laying on the bed with her arms out for me. I laid across her and she held me and gently stroked my arms. she said in a soft voice, "now you won't be doing that ever again will you?' I said no. I asked if i could pleasure her in any way and she said not tonight. Then before she fell asleep she said, "i know how much you like watching me get off, which is really good. because all your going to be doing is watching me for a very long time, I love you baby." The actual punishment was really not bad at all. I am something of a CBT addict so it was arousing even though a bit painful. I do feel that i need her to punish me hard, with something i will NOT like. I know she is slowly becoming comfortable with the role she has decided to take for me and I just want to be patient. Also, i know she won't make good on the long time lockup she spoke about. she's great at "playing" the role but has a hard time following through. If she really does keep me locked up for a couple months i will be in shock. i've never been in longer than 11 days. I just feel like i need her to give me more boundries, consequences, and tease and denial. Hopefully this will develop in time. P.S. I have multiple hockey sticks in the house. should have suggested that to her.
I'll put in two coppers worth on this thread; I am in complete agreement with Mistress Watchful. The punishment should fit the crime. What did you do? You; 1 - Touched a key you should never touch. 2 - Unlocked yourself. 3 - Unauthorized self pleasure. How would I make it clear about those three things? 1 - Make a copy of the key you should never touch. Place it in a clear box, fill the box with epoxy resin. After it sets up, place the encased key in a prominent place in the home. The key that you can always see but never touch. It serves as a constant reminder of position and deed. 2 - A simple scene with a key in ice. Handcuff you some place with the key out of reach until the ice melts. You can unlock yourself but only after the ice melts. You unlocked yourself, ok, you can again but you will wait. 3 - This one is going to take more time... I'd have you chained spread with one hand having access and for weeks have you edge yourself at least once a day. You edged yourself and now you will do it until you are thoroughly miserable. There should also be a reward for bringing it up! You did tell her, you could have even orgasmed and cleaned up never telling her. Who would be the wiser but you? Yes, you'd live with the guilt. So not having the guilt is one reward, but she should also reward you for your honesty. Perhaps drop the second punishment line or treat you to something nice? This is something along the lines of how I punish subs and slaves. Hope it helps. F
Aha ! There's a good admission - you misbehaved to get punished. Being "not one much for punishment" is - when you think about it - punishment in itself. Trust her to train you in the way she wants to own you and hold your key - she understands you and where your buttons are and each chastity agreement is as individual as the people enacting it. Topping from the bottom, which is in effect what you are doing when you are trying to control her behaviour will interfere with where you both are heading for. Your feelings of shame as a response is a great start - sounds me to me like she's doing just fine........ Good luck x
Celtic Queen, your are right. My actions should not have anything to do with what i want her to do with me. In the past i have also behaved somewhat badly in order to get locked up again instead of allowing her to decide purely on her own. Controlling her by manipulating the situation is the opposite of submitting to her and thus the opposite of what i really want in the end. I will do my best to be honest with her and unselfishly serve rather than expecting a response that i want. Its an interesting thing, this dynamic. It's difficult to let go, not so much of the key that unlocks me, but more giving over my desires and allowing hers to take precedence. I want Her to be happy regardless of what situation that puts me in. But my actions don't always attest to that. Now i feel even more ashamed.
No one said it would be easy Locktite - that's why it takes so long. I suspect the majority of men come to D/s and chastity with a neatly formed package of ideas of what they want having been informed by all sorts of unrealistic nonsense out of the web. The vast majority doesn't translate anywhere near to a real life relationship dynamic any more than porn is anything like real life sex in a marriage. You are not submitting to some shadowy fantasy figure, you are submitting to a real person who loves you so the dynamic is fluid, realistic and unknowable for both of you. Keep communicating, maintain a high level of self transparency in your behaviours and remind yourself that this is what you want. You'll get there if that is really what you want.
Locktite..... if you have not done so already...... Hand over total financial control to your Mistress. All my salary gets paid to an account I have zero access all I see is my payslip. Mistress grants me a small amount of pocket money which She places in an account I do have access to. It is very humbling and for me a great act of submission it realy freaked me out. i guess if what i am saying is if you really want to submit then accept Her ways and not pose your own expectations. Shame and feeling guilty indicates you know the truth!!!! That's a good thing!
She would not want me to hand over total financial control. She wants me to handle most of those things. She would see this as another thing she has to do and consider it somewhat of a burden. So even though it would be very humbling for me to do this, i dont think it would be beneficial. It would be kind of like me saying i'm handing over all my dishwashing duties to you. She expects me to be the man and take care of the family, handle the bills, taxes, credit issues and the like. I think giving her control of my orgasms and creating the responsibility for her to give me chores, monitor them, and punish my bad behaviors is enough responsibility for her already. Plus, i need access to the finances because i need to purchase grocerys, pick up drycleaning, give the kids lunch money, and many other things. thank you for the suggestion though.