Post-Partum Partnership

My wife has experienced a dramatic reduction to her libido and available energy/time/attention after the birth of our second child. She is also experiencing post-partum depression (for which she is receiving treatment through talk therapy and discussing potential pharmaceutical interventions on a temporary basis). Over the last fifteen months, we haven’t had penetrative intercourse at all, with very limited oral and manual interactions. She just hasn’t been aroused or, frankly (and much to her frustration), able to become aroused. We had experimented with denial during previous BDSM Play, and recently it came back into play. I have been conditioning my body to be in the cage almost constantly (with exceptions for work related PPE that requires it’s removal, and we’re researching whether it is better [for our purposes] to remove the device one night weekly to allow overnight erections.)

I have just finished wearing the cage nearly 24/7 for a week straight, with the last 72 hours being uninterrupted. She instructed me to clean and groom, and then bring myself to orgasm. I know that after this next week, I will not be allowed to climax, and that it will be cleaning, grooming, and perhaps edging. Followed by another week, and then we’ll see...she has hinted that that’s a few days before my birthday, so perhaps she has something planned. I’ll be posting photo updates as the weeks progress and updates on how chastity and denial work with our experience with post-partum exhaustion and libido reduction.

I’ll post a link to a previous post about how we got back to denial and chastity.

 

Day 2/14?

My wife is getting into teasing in not-so-subtle ways. When I was home at lunch, she was finishing up a workout. After her workout she undressed on the other side of the island from me and looked at herself in the mirror. I started to walk around to her and she casually said, “oh, you can stay over there babe.” Goddamn she is gorgeous. Then in the evening, She asked me to massage her legs. I started with her feet and moved up toward her thighs and stopped short of her groin. She kept asking me to go higher, but stopped me JUST below her labia. She told me to keep massaging her and spread her legs so that I could see and smell her, but wouldn’t let me touch her. She noticed me shift my stance a bit and she smiled and said, “the cage must be pretty tight right now...thank you for the massage, I’m going to head to bed.” She is really starting to enjoy this. I’m loving it.

 

Thank you! One of the biggest things that I’m hoping for through this is regaining physical contact with her. Previously, she was so concerned that any contact was me trying to initiate sex that she didn’t even want me to give her small hugs or squeeze her shoulder as I passed. It was so disheartening to be unable to express any affection to her. After many discussions with her therapist we’ve come to understand that this is a common experience with post-partum and we’re working to compromise so that we both find something that works. Her stance is now less, “all you want is sex!” And more, “I’ve got somebody hanging off of me all day, I just need a break from physical contact.” She understands that where I’m coming from is, “I
Am never being touched by an adult, and you’re the only one that I want to be touching or
touched by.” So we’re baby-stepping toward more contact, starting with massages. She is still not enjoying hugs and kisses.

thank you again for the encouragement, Lester!

 

I’m sorry to hear about the affect that PPD has had on your marriage. The description of your situation mirrors my own in many ways. My wife is getting hormone levels checked after she’s done breastfeeding. Her thyroid has come back normal, so that’s very good news. Unfortunately, her mom is in the process of determining whether she had endometrial cancer or not, and if she does, it is likely my wife will get a chance preemptive hysterectomy. So then we’d be going down that road and working with HRT.

You and I have very similar theories of what it means to be a good partner. When I get home from work, I take our baby and become the primary entertainer of the toddler for an hour or two. With the latter half being dinner prep. My wife will usually only take 20-30 minutes to herself in the bedroom (best AC and quietest room) to decompress and maybe call a friend or read the news. After dinner, she’ll take our son and then I’ll handle essentially any housework she wasn’t able to get to that day (within reason, a person needs sleep...allegedly) as well as the chores I don’t
Mind that she can’t stand (dishes, compost, litter box). But the BIG thing is that blissful couple hours when she isn’t having to hold the baby. Her back is a wreck after the last 15 months. She’s getting more comfortable with massages again, so hopefully soon we can work on some of her muscle aches. She has a few hours of
Time at a local massage therapist from Mother’s Day, but COVID still has prevented her from being able to use them.

I truly appreciate the feedback and support!

 

I’m settling into a good rhythm. An erection straining the cage has been waking me at 4:45-5:00 each morning. Typically, I slide out of bed and go work out to relieve the tension. This morning, I rolled toward my wife and put my arm over her and nodded back to sleep for a few minutes.

Last night we stayed up a bit and had a glass of wine and I massaged her feet. She admitted that she’s been having lots of sex dreams lately and asked if she “had” to do anything with the cage if she wanted to have an orgasm. I told her that she could do as Much or as little as she wanted. If all she wanted was for me to bring her to orgasm in a certain way; then that’s what she’s going to get. If she wants to take the cage off, she can, but...that would take some planning, What with the baby in the bed and all. She said she was interested in playing with the cage a bit, but wanted to wait. I said no problem, and asked her about her dreams. She described them; and it made for some very enjoyable conversation. In bed, she rolled to me and kissed me for the first time in at least six months. We fell asleep.

after falling back to sleep with my arm around her, I woke to her pushing back into me. She rolled onto her back and pulled her shirt down to uncover her breasts. She didn’t say anything but slid her hand into my pants and started to squeeze my balls. Assuming I wasn’t misreading this cue, I followed her lead and began gently
Massaging her clit. Feeling her get wet, a wave of arousal and emotion washed over me and I enjoyed the next several minutes immensely. It was the first time she spontaneously sought out any sort of sexual contact in months. She was still pregnant the last time. So somewhere north of six. As she lay in bed settling her breath, she looked at me and whispered, “I like this a lot.” And she tapped on the cage. Goddamnit she’s hot.

we lay in bed together for a couple minutes, and it was time to start the day. I got a quick workout in and Then it was morning chores and off to work.

a fantastic day and, honestly, a fantasy of a morning. Hoping for many more, but expecting nothing.

 

This morning was a tiny little breakthrough. Our kids were both still asleep, and I was getting ready for work. I was in the closet and had just undressed when my wife stepped into the doorway.

me - “hey, good morning babe.”
Her - “good morning...” *looks down at the cage and smiles slightly* “so, are you still happy with the decisions we’ve made?”
Me - “I am. There have been some noticeable improvements in my mood and focus overall. I feel much more present.”
Her - “Good. Because I’m happy with this too.” And she stepped forward to give me a kiss, and instead of the usual hand on my hip, she cupped my balls and gave them a squeeze.

This is a huge deal for me, and my wife! She has not sought out intimacy in months and in the space of a few days has asked for an orgasm and now is touching intimately without any sort of
Provocation. It’s very exciting.