Serious question for subs but all input welcome.

I kind of go with the flow and follow my wife’s lead. Many week nights after dinner it’s a quick shower and soak in the hot tub, more for her relaxation after a stressful day at work. There may be some teasing, hugging and kissing, or just closed eyes listening to the water jets. Hardly ever will it lead to anything else.

weekends a different story, she has an active mind and likes to get off. It may lead to PIV, but either way she will get off. Depending on her mood it could be dungeon play, pegging, or her drying me.

I do enjoy the denying and actually look forward to when so is going to keep me locked until the following weekend and just gives me a milking for doing a good job. like you I look forward to a good whipping, begging for release and being denied, and the ultimate, a hot orgasm.

the only thing I wish for is for her to be pounded by a huge hung guy, a line she will not cross. She will torment me and tell me stories of what she will do with another guy while she is pegging me, fuel for the fire.

 

My desire to submit is constant most likely because our Ds relationship is too.

My desires within my submissive role can vary greatly although the general cravings remain: bondage and humiliation.

Some things never change: no PIV sex, I never receive blowjobs, and no unauthorized orgasms. I think it's good to have a few things that are enforced strictly (and obeyed without question) regardless of anything else changing.

What changes is that there may be new toys/practices/etc. that come on the forefront because either my Wife or I initiate it. (eg. I recently I started wearing cute panties under my clothing) In turn other aspects may move to the background (we're not doing much rope anymore).

Vanilla life also has an influence in that work and other obligations may push things a bit on the backburner.

 

There is not one thing I am locked in on. My wife has mentioned she can deal with my quirks because I don’t get fixated on things for very long.

If we were going to go to a BDSM club on any given night, I would much rather play a sub role, wear sub clothes, get tied up.

But I also like topping her at a club too. It is a different kind of rush topping and caring for someone, versus being trusting and vulnerable and receptive to giving up control.

we are both “kinky” and “curious” at end of day.

 

I find the longer I'm locked up and the hornier I get, the more things I'm willing (or want) to do.

We are also both switch-y usually. But the longer I'm locked, the more subby I get and the more I too want to be beaten or teased and denied or such.

 

As we grow so do our tastes.

Sometimes we want what we want and that's ok.

Exploring Chastity will cause us to grow as we walk the path of our own self discovery. Along that path we may discover new and interesting we want to try.

Chastity opens the door and leads us away from what is Vanilla, what is 'normal'. Once we discover that what we like is not wrong is changes our perception of things and as a result we grow.

So you are merely discovering what you like and expanding your interests.

Iso.

 

in a flr attitude and performance is often effected by mood. my preference and expectation is for the same enthusiasm demonstrated regardless. on the other hand most people have trouble staying focused on one head space 100% of the time. so your normal... maybe in need of more discipline at her discretion .

 

I my gosh infoj

Oh my gosh, I found headspace tonight for the first time in a very long time. Mistress had me help her dress before going out with the ladies. She ended up just the right amount of dressed up over what she might have done in a rush.

 

We all fantasise and most of us have no intention or even desire to turn them into reality. Partly, it's just a release and partly it's us processing what we really want. Just go with the flow.

 

the submission and feminine desires are constant, and i never feel dominant. But i do feel urges to try things out. to see how maintenance spanking might work for me, or various bondage gear, like the cock pillory. But not having an opportunity, keeps those mostly to fantasy.

 

Chastity brings waves of emotions to the surface, and with that waves of ever changing desires that would otherwise be supressed for the same old, same old.

 

I try and stay true to my "70%" by cultivating both my service and the depths of my submission to be the best submissive/service sub I can be. I know that in the end this will bring me the most happiness overall. This will also provide my Mistress the most pleasing slave and the most happiness too.

 

Madam and I used to switch quite often, but the more I was kept locked the more submissive I would feel and after madam started cuckolding me i felt at my most submissive, and I have it realy felt Dom since.

 

You are far from alone in this. I'm sure that many of us here, including me, have significant fluctuations in their level of desire, the specific target of their desire, etc. I'm locked 24/7 with a piercing, so it's essentially inescapable without the key. There are times when I just get tired of it, and want to take it off. Luckily my beautiful wife/KH is very perceptive. She can tell when I'm just cranky, and doesn't unlock me at those times. We do have a safe word, but I've never used it. We both understand that the safe word is intended only for situations involving real, serious physical pain, rather than just frustration. And my cage is a custom-built Evotion Bijou, which is extremely comfortable. I can forget I'm wearing it while I'm concentrating on something like work. It has never caused me any significant pain in over 3 years.

I will also admit that I've never felt the need for anyone to beat the shit out of me, but if it turns you on and its between consenting adults, its ok by me, LOL! Seriously, I would question a desire for real physical harm, or the desire to really harm someone else. That borders a little too closely to true psychologic pathology for me. But I realize there can be a fine line between what some people believe is acceptable or not.

 

Interesting question. I am sub to Women 95% of the time and Alpha around males 100% of the time, which is to say for example, if a Woman were to tell me to suck a cock, I would do it for her without hesitation, if a man were to tell me the same thing... he'd regret it in a big way.

 

My desires have slowly changed and progressed with chastity over time. I feel I get on cycles of the kinks I’m fantasizing and hoping she’ll try. I know that chastity and a desire for kink has fueled my imagination and allowed it to run wild especially when locked for a while. That in addition to the denial aspect and the inability to achieve some of my biggest fantasies might make the mind wander and crave some particular kinks that might not normally peak my interest as much. A big portion of chastity is the mind F@&$ so I would think it would be pretty normal to have your wants constantly shifting. Maybe until you come to some sort of overall theme that truly fits what you like and want.

 

In vanilla life, I am 100% male; strong, take charge, make it happen guy. In fem and caged I am submissive, desire to be controlled in bondage by a strong KH / dominate who enjoys making slave do as told. It sexual, for me and the dominate. As long as I am dressed and caged KH has total control to enjoy slave as desired. Chastity is sexual bondage and KH enjoys the power.

 

I'm much more 'sexually' submissive than day-to-day submissive, but I live in an FLR and you often have to go with the flow of your dominant in this type of relationship.

For example, yesterday my Wife had a really bad, traumatic experience and called me to tell me about it. I at one point was short with her and told her to get herself together.

That was a mistake. In her words, no MAN EVER tells her 'to get herself together'. She is in control and always is.

To pay for this, I was forced to strip (except for my chastity cage), spread-eagled and tied to her bed face-down. She then took a crop and whipped my ass, the back of my thighs, my shoulders, and my biceps until I was stitched with marks. Then she slowly scratched lines with her fingernails, from my ankles all the way to my wrists, making drawings in my skin along the way.

This went on for about half an hour.

After that I was untied, and told to kiss her feet, and to lick the bottoms of her feet. She had me do this for about 5 minutes a foot. Every couple minutes she would ask "Why?" and I would reply, "To remind me that I am beneath you."

That was my punishment for talking back to my Wife. I didn't matter if I felt submissive or not, I was gonna get my ass whipped lol.

 

Definitely not constant. Probably 70/30 submissive/assertive in terms of how I feel. My wife and our marriage vows, require 100% submission, so it means I have to notice when i’m in a pushy mood and be on my best behavior.

 

I have to say that I am submissive almost all of the time. Since starting MC and wearing a cage 90% of the time(Or more). My Wife(KH) has me trained to do anything she asks me to do. Taking care of the house chores or anything she wants sexually, she gets. She has full control of any type of sex life I think I might have. She wanted to try pissing on me awhile back, done. It's not really her thing, but she wanted to try it. I'm very submissive now, compared to when I was playing hockey & baseball. If some of my old team mates could see me now. But maybe I was the "Alpha" dog too long and just want it the other way now. As far as desires go, my Wife lets me know when I have any and what she will do to lessen them...

 

I want all those things you mention and more, every day all at the same time, even though some may be contradictory. What I am thinking about and desiring most at any given moment may shift depending on the circumstances, but I have complex and varied urges like you mention multiple times every day. I feel this is normal, because it is common for me and apparently also for you.