My wife really likes how chastity has changed our relationship. It was good before & we have always communicated well, but we much more emotionally connected now & she likes how much more passionate I am. Recently, she has started to purposely getting me aroused before bed with her hands and does not finish. I really enjoy it & like how it makes me feel long term. She says she has fun and enjoys doing it to me, but feels bad about doing it. I am very honest with her and have told her it does suck when she stops, but I love how it makes me desire her even more. Any input, comments, or advice?
Tell her you love her, and you love her a lot more for keeping you denied and horny. I think this might take some time for her to accept it... I know it did with my wife. It took her more than a year I think to truly accept that I'm perfectly okay - and in a lot of cases on some level want her to deny me. So give it time!
I think her actions speak louder than her words. If she is continuing or increasing the bedtime play and leaving you hanging, then it's clear she doesn't feel too bad. Perhaps that confession is just a ploy to get you even more obedient. It might be music to her ears to have you tell her of your love for her.
This morning, during my tease and deny session, I begged my wife to let me have a ruined orgasm, of course she said "NO". She knows how much I love it when she says "NO".
That's really the biggest struggle, making her realize that it really is alright being all about HER. It goes against everything women have been taught their whole lives.
For us, the orgasms of the KH is one of the most cherished benefits of male chastity. As a submissive I enjoy making my KH feel good and giving her countless orgasms, and ensuring she is completely satisfied at all times. I especially enjoy giving an orgasm without getting one in return. My KH of course enjoys mind boggling interdimensional orgasms – truly unlike anything else she’s ever experienced before the cage.
It's the important difference between short term and long term. Short term, what we crave is that instant gratification. We genuinely want it and would genuinely appreciate it if we got it. But the satisfaction, we all know, is short lived. The satisfaction of holding off, and being refused, and using that energy in different ways to bring pleasure to our partners, is far, far greater. In the moment, wanting release we might not think that. But we know it's true.
This was a very busy weekend for us getting all the yard work done, getting the house set for winter, and preparing for Halloween. We finished early afternoon and took a nice shower and went for a soak in the hot tub. Naturally, there was a little wine involved and a short time later my wife feeling frisky started to tease me. it wasn’t long before she was sitting on the side of the hot tub with my head between her legs and her cumming. I begged her to let me out and her response was to push my head back down and letting her cum a second time. Later she did feel bad and instead of letting me out made me my favorite stir fry dinner. Food helped but I had a tough night sleeping. just before lights out she reminded me the first is right around the corner and I should hope I’m lucky enough to get out that night. It’s still undecided who will will release and I could still face either another 24 or 60 days locked. The good news if that happens, a milking will be on the horizon depending on how happy I keep her and I do a great job, a vibrator could be replaced against my cage for some release. I would be able to cum bet continued being locked.
My wife is the same way. I think MOST women are so compansionate and careing, it is hard for them to deprive us. She knows I enjoy being locked and often says I don't have to do it, but then after we do, she says she enjoys the benefits. We play a game where I am locked and not let out until I finish a lot of chores around the house. She says she feels bad for me doing so much, but I tell her I enjoy it and it gets things done that need to be done.
My wife had a mental block about getting a man aroused and not going any further. It took us some time and lots of communication but she is definitely broken down that mental block. Give it time and keep reinforcing that you do enjoy being denied.
I know the feeling of your wife feeling bad about you not getting off. Me and my wife dealt with this situation for a long time. My wife told me if was against everything she has ever known and she loves me so much she has to make sure I am satisfied. Obviously she is amazing but it was not helping spice up our sex life that like so many of us was not quite as it had been after many years of marriage. We had a lot of really long discussions and I really needed to be honest with her that the main reason I wanted her to lock me was that without the option to masturbate it made me feel like I was 20 again and things felt like when we just met. I told her I loved the feeling and I especially loved the way I looked at her and felt her just like when we first fell in love. We talked about how I loved pleasing her the same now all over again. I told her that I will make love to her with PIV whenever she wants it, really wants it not because she thinks she has to. We talked about if I please her and then she thinks she has to please me it felt like she was doing her duty or evening the score and it was totally a major let down. We discussed that I know when we make love and she is doing it because she wants to versus doing her duty. I could feel it. We talked about that if she keeps me locked until she is really in the mood that it feels like the first time every time. She shared she can tell how I feel as well. My wife also told me that sometimes when I am pleasing her she has told me to stop and sometimes I still pushed. She said that means she is really hoping that we will really make love and she will want me inside her, probably on the upcoming weekend and I need to listen to her. I think if you are honest and share your feelings the guilt will go away. It worked great for us.
Part of the tease and denial "feeling right" is that the Mistress punctuates it. So instead of it just stopping, the stopping feels purposeful. Ways in order to accomplish this can include: Her orgasm, a count down to when the sub's pleasure stops, and the sub edging. All of course should be followed by snugs between Mistress and sub.