How common is caging a dominant man?

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by keephimcaged, Aug 23, 2020.

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  1. keephimcaged
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    Hi everyone,

    It's been lovely getting back involved in the forum recently, so thanks for the welcome.

    I've been wondering for a while how unusual it is that we incorporate and enjoy chastity, but my husband isn't naturally submissive. I've been having some chats with my blog followers too and I've talked with more couples like us, but is it more common than I think?

    I'd love to hear if that's the case for you too. Maybe you're switchy, maybe dominant in other areas but sexually submissive, or like my James, pretty classically dominant in life and bed, except we love caging his cock up sometimes because of how it makes him, and me!

    However it works, I'd be so interested to hear from you and maybe share ideas of what works in this scenario.

    Thank you!

    Jane xxx
     
  2. jet_silver
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    jet_silver Active member

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    From this switch's perspective, it is perfectly possible to dominate someone, even long-term, while being submissive to someone else. Some switch couples will wrestle or fight to see who's going to be dominant today. That might easily be orthogonal to who's wearing a cage - it's uncommon but it sometimes happens that both people in a switch relationship are caged.

    It's a nice thing that people get to figure this out for themselves, don't you think?
     
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  3. Unlucky
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    Unlucky Long term member

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    I suspect very few people are actually submissive in most areas in their romantic relationship. I'd argue that is true even of the people who think or claim they are.

    As for people who are dominant in most or all areas but locked, I think that's a lot rarer though it would absolutely work. If the top is locked, that could allow them to focus on their submissive in the same way that the people who want to be submissive want to focus on their partner. I think that would probably actually work out better for most couples, but that's probably an unpopular opinion.

    As for people with actual experience, @locked_top is one though it seems like his chastity journey has shifted that. There are a few other people around who started relationships as the dominant but have shifted to the submissive though I don't know if they were ever caged as the dominant.
     
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  4. locked_top
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    locked_top Caged tiger

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    I indulged in chastity on and off over the past twenty years as a dominant guy. Across that period I had a fair number of slaves/submissives. It wasn't a big problem for me.

    Today I know a fair number of dominant guys who enjoy chastity.
     
  5. keephimcaged
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  6. locked_top
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    locked_top Caged tiger

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    I agree. I keep in contact with quite a few.
     
  7. locked_top
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    locked_top Caged tiger

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    I should add that I find the idea of dominating someone while locked up to be super hot.
     
  8. Headtrip
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    Headtrip Long term member

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    I've always been dominant in vanilla life and a Sr. Mgr. My GF was also quite dominant. I had heard of Dom/Sub sexually but never gave it a thought. I led unless I permitted her to. For the 1st 5 years her family loved that I was the one person that could "control" her. Unbeknownst to me she was just studying me for weaknesses and one day found that I enjoyed bondage. Within months she had parlayed that (with lots of fun) into chastity and we were (are) both shocked at how well it works on me. 2 days out and I switch back, but not sure she will allow that again.
     
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  9. locked_top
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    locked_top Caged tiger

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    Nice.
     
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  10. tomf_22033
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    I’m very dominant in my vanilla life. But I’m very sexually submissive. That said, I also am a gentleman and also will yield to strong women in most cases.
     
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  11. MeatLocker
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    My fiancé likes to play sexually submissive, but keeps me locked. I also lock several others, but have no sexual contact outside of my fiancé.
     
  12. keephimcaged
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    Do you recognise what she says in that reddit post, that it's male doms who are getting older, in stable relationships, just exploring wider and maybe compensating for lower testosterone?
     
  13. locked_top
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    locked_top Caged tiger

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    Eh, that's part of it, and I'm sure that's the part she is seeing. But I've been interested in chastity since I was young, and I would have indulged more if devices had been more common then.
     
  14. Anonoman
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    I’m not at all submissive ether at work or home but I enjoy being a switch in the bedroom. The problem is my wife has such little interest in sex that the only thing I can do is chastity play. I’d love to more of ether or even more vanilla - as long as we did SOMETHING! :rolleyes:
    (7 weeks tomorrow since we last had PIV and I’ve been able to initiated pleasuring her 3 times in this time)
     
  15. BarbCD
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    Very interesting question and discussion. Just for the sake of the diversity of the mansion I’m happy to see discussions from dominant males and female members.
     
  16. MSDB321
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    Me too. Have loved being submissive in sexual activities. So I think it is quite common. It is the power exchange thing. It is so good being able to stop leading and have to follow and obey.
     
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  17. ChasteCel
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    ChasteCel 7/6 on the TomAllen-Rectrix scale

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    In our ongoing journey, my wife and I are finding our dynamic changing around a fair bit.

    I've been locked up for a little over three years now, it was my idea, asked her to indulge me, etc, etc. It's led to more sexual interaction, I never really felt like enough. Outside of the bedroom I'm in very dominant positions, at work, etc.

    Found out recently that my wife actually wants me to be more dominant in the bedroom. She wants me to take more control, initiate sexy time more. But she has every intention of deciding when to unlock me still. I've always felt myself to be more switchy, so I'm game for it and we'll try it and see where it goes.
     
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  18. ChasteBoi150
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    Isn't this kind of the chastity as a kink v chastity as a lifestyle question?

    I think lots of alpha and dominant men would enjoy being denied for a period as a kink

    Whereas betas like men enjoy the submission and humiliation of it

    I dont know if that makes any sense
     
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  19. locked_top
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    locked_top Caged tiger

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    I never found that particular question helpful.
     
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  20. lockedaway9
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    Personally I'm very dominant in all areas of life, and a switch in bed. I'm interested in both male and female chastity, and being mutually locked. For me it's less about the submissive aspect, with my full chinese belt, it makes me feel femme down there, and I have a HUGE obsession with the vagina, so it's a big turn on to feel like that. the other aspect is teasing while mutually locked, drives me and the other person wild, like going back to those frustrating dry humping high school days. you wouldn't put an agressive animal in a cage and call it submissive because of where it is. There are some other aspects that come into play with me too, like if I don't have a partner for an extended time, it's a way to control excessive masturbation with self locking. I'm kind of a rarity, I don't think many people view it the way I do, especially around this forum, but at the end of the day, we all have our own path, but we are united by the cage, for whatever reason it's there.
     
  21. keephimcaged
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    Love that!
    Have you read James's Chastity Contract books yet? :p I think you'll love it. I put an extract in the book reviews forum. The wife calls her husband her caged tiger :D
     
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  22. Mat-Locked
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    Caged tiger is what my lovely lady calls me....
    Or also very often...
    „There it is again, that Tiger look in your eyes“
    (That Starts at about 5-7 days after locking up)
     
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  23. Drews
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    Drews Long term member

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    I am locked full time other than sex and I am no way submissive or in a FLR. For us it was my idea to get our sex life back on track after falling into a boring routine. For me I am in the mood all the time. My wife about every week or longer. What happened is I constantly pushed sex on my wife when she was not in the mood. This sex became boring and dull for me because she obviously was not into it. I then reverted to a lot of masturbation. This made me inattentive to my wife and not into sex when she was in the mood. My wife felt she was pressured into sex and she was nothing more than a receptacle for my pleasure. When she did want sex I was pretty much worthless because I usually took care of things myself. I brought up the idea of the cage and it took a long time to for her to understand why as a non submissive guy I would ever want to give control of my penis to her. After many discussions we are now at the point my wife will not unlock me unless she wants sex. She had a lot of guilt but she did get over that and feels empowered that she does not need to do her wifely duties if she is not into it. For me I am always horney but broke a masturbation habit. Now our sex lives are totally in synch. I told my wife it now feels like the first time every time and she has said she feels like I love and appreciate her and it feels like making love instead of doing a duty. She did say she wants me locked 24/7 but she will never force it. I happily complied.
     
  24. MistressS
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    I caught My hub cheating with My girlfriend well she actually squealed on him. I told him chastity or divorce, her chose chastity. He is definitely an alpha male, so I wanted to break him. I had him locked for about 57 days. When My gf and I cleaned him he was handcuffed washed and re caged. my objective was he wouldn't be released until he suck a cock and a male sucked his. Also to be used in another way receiving and giving.

    I was almost there I felt but My knee required surgery and therapy to follow. I released him knowing I need his help. Well in late May I was totally recuperated. I was unable to re cage him.

    So for Me it was an impossible task to cage a dominant male. I failed.


    MistressS
     
  25. MissyB
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    MissyB Long term member

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    Some men don't realize what an opportunity they miss when they refuse chastity play.
     
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