Some time ago I introduced my SO to the idea of my chastity. No doubt like many of you initially it did not go well. A second start saw me sit down and discuss the idea at length with my SO after some sage advice from these forums. Agreement and understanding dawned and we moved on. The agreement was that I would wear it at all times unless she told me not too. I would have to take it off myself with the key I had stashed away. This week we took a couple of steps forward. I Went to get the key and take the cage off, to find the key missing. I returned to my SO and without asking I started to caress her. To my surprise she was more than accepting and a short time later I helped her orgasm. At no stage was the cage an issue. I was in heaven. I hope we continue to take these steps forward.
Well week 2 after our long talk has finished. What can I say, I am thinking it is going ok. I have been very careful to not push it, beg or go over the top. Taking it slow and letting SO get a little more comfortable with what is happening. Clearly she read the Lucy Fairburn book that I sent her when we had the long talk because she has some knowledge about what to do. Every couple of days the key is on the bathroom for my shower. After the shower or during the shower is a teasing session. There has been no PIV this week, but I have not been able to cum either. After the shower and drying I am expected to replace the cage. I have no knowledge when I will be released nor has there been any indications. A couple of nights, whilst caged I have been encouraged and have complied with caressing SO and cuddles. She has not pushed for orgasm or anything further. I am leaking more and more each night, more erections causing me to wake and they are taking longer to subside. I am hopeful of release but again I don’t want to push it. Hopefully we continue to progress.
You seem to have some buy in form her, which is good. There will be steps backward occasionally, arguments, and some stop and go. It is all part of the journey. You are on a forward path for now, but every day may not be that way. Communicate when it does happen, and try to move at her pace mentally. You seem to have a good start. Good luck t you.
Well week 3 has been a bit up and down. First, the most amazing sex, PIV. Best in years for both of us. This was followed by total disinterest for a few days then kind of interested again. I don’t know whether to talk about it or just let it slide and see how things go. I do have to get a new cage though. The cheap Chinese bioresin cage gets too flexible when warm with my body and I can fall out of it. New metal cage on the way.
Sounds like things may be going slowly, but certainly are going in the right direction. That is great!
Well it has been a while but I think we have slow progress continuation. after a couple of months, she basically made it clear she wasn’t overly keen on the having me caged. A lengthy discussion and we decided to give it a rest. Since then I have been away for work. Last week, after two weeks away I spoke to her on the phone. She indicated that she had not waited for my return and made herself cum with the vibrator at home. Her words ‘you better be careful I may not need your penis at all.’ I nearly came in my pants. I returned home yesterday for a couple of days home. In bed she used the vibrator to make herself cum again. No interest in using my cock at all. In fact when I tried to put her hand on it, she pulled away and kept going on herself. I got on top and piv and a short time later I came. She asked if I was finished and then asked me to get off and finished herself off. It was so good to watch. Nothing further that night but the next night I put the cage back on. She came in for bed and felt it on. Her words ‘you are much more affectionate with that on. I like that.’ She was very affectionate and seemed happier with me wearing the cage. Maybe I am reading too much into it, but I think we have a refresh and a different view from her. Maybe progress?
Your vanilla bride is not the first wife who has noticed that her husband is much more affectionate when he's staying locked in his chastity cage. In my experience, when a husband stops masturbating and lets the oxytocin build up he becomes more open to his wife's needs and emotions and becomes more affectionate and intimate. Your wife is right. Make sure you tell her she's right and that you want to be closer and more affectionate in your marriage.
Well the slow progress continues but there is forward progress. Last night we were intimate. My SO had an orgasm, with me using a dildo like a strap on. She did not even consider me which made my heart sing. Then as we were lying there she said ‘give me your key. I don’t want you waking up during the night and masturbating.’ Never has she even wanted anything to do with the key before. Slow but forward progress.
Maybe it is finally changing. Again yesterday with the orgasm for her using my tongue and the dildo and then she just straight out said ‘you can get off me now.’ I asked if she wanted me to buy a strap on for me to use on her and she agreed.
Congratulations, you officially are part of the club. I certainly hope you enjoy this, because given a little time being a keyholder I can’t imagine really going back. Not that I wanted to, but remember after a few months I could tell I would have some serious explaining if I wanted to quit chastity. I think agreeing to get a harness shows a commitment to long term penis replacement.
Well four months has gone and how things have moved on. My SO ensures that I am locked every night. She still has concerns about pain and whether I need to cum but that is rare. The strap on has arrived as has the multiple orgasms for her. I haven’t orgasmed in four weeks and the other night she said ‘remember when I used to let you fuck me and the mess it would leave.’ The only time I cum is in my cage and when she is having an orgasm. Good times.
Sounds like you've reached a place where she is content with you caged and has realized better options exist for her orgasms. Is your arrangement just for orgasm control or is there a goal of FLM for you?
At the moment orgasm control, but I would like more overall control. There has only been the taking of the key a few times. I would like her to have more control with that. A conversation I will have with her again.
Sounds like the gentle approach has worked well for you. I think for "vanilla" wives whom are used to their husband's needs dictating sex or sexual releases its quite a leap to be then put in the position where their wants/needs are put first. Then theres the whole "is this just a passing fad" thing, is it worth their time/effort to indulge if its going to go away in a few weeks. Do you ask to be out of the cage or is it pre-set times? Tacit control can be given by asking to remove the cage for whatever purpose (cleaning, shaving, sports etc) and even if this is never denied, it shows that you are still giving her the power, if not the physical key itself. The key would then be a natural progression from there.
The timings of the release are preset. I am to have it on at home at all times. Work and exercise it is removed for safety reasons only. So I guess yes it is already the power to her. Only released at home when she asks for it.
Well 8 months has transpired and whilst there is still some reservations she has certainly started to accept if not enjoy what we now have. I have not cum except in the cage for two months. Both times have been when using the strap on. She said once she knew that could happen that overcome her reservation that I was not enjoying it fully. I have to say put sex life is more frequent and we both get significant enjoyment from it now. No longer the same thing every time.
Could you clarify this, were you fucking her with the strap-on and came yourself, or was she pegging you?
Cool, so just doing that gets you aroused enough to cum? She must be happy keeping you locked if that's the case.
Yes it does. There is some friction against my pelvis so that helps but certainly does. The look on her face and the response of her body when I enter her with the strap on is divine. Up until that occurred then about 80%. Now I would say 95%. Originally when we started she would ask me if I wanted to come after she had. Now she doesn’t even ask she decides whether I do or don’t. Don’t get me wrong, I would like just a little bit more such as taking the key and her unlocking or locking me instead of me doing it, but the slow steady talking approach has gotten us this far so we are both happy.