After MUCH thought regarding an FLR on my part, I finally screwed up enough courage to bring up the subject to my wife this past Monday. Normally, we would sit in the living room with our dinner on our lap. But tonight would require a serious eyeball-to-eyeball discussion of the subject; I had asked to have a conversation after dinner. I made dinner, set the table, and after other discussions of the day, I finally brought up the subject of having an FLR. She didn't know what that meant, and frankly I didn't know all the answers, either. But would she be willing to explore the possibilities of this lifestyle with me? After assuring her this was not prelude to a golden showers session after she finished her wine, and also saying I wanted to take baby steps along the adventure. I was fairly sure she would agree, but the same anxiety and fear of rejection as when I asked for her hand in marriage 30+ years ago was with me nonetheless. To may great enjoyment, she agreed. No more was said of the subject the remainder of the evening, as I promised this issue would not be a 24/7 conversation about how to put me in a chastity cage. She would have to bring up the subject again in whatever form or depth, but that I would check-in with her Saturday. The following day, some more discussion was made, initiated by my wife. She wanted more info, as I expected she might. I suggested her to read a short book that was specifically directed at the wife in an FLR. She thought that to be a good idea. After I read a one chapter Kindle sample of The Good Wife's Guide to Taking Charge: A Female-Led-Relationship Primer. I downloaded a copy for her to read. I told her that I had read chapter one, and found it sympathetic to my views at this point. I had not read anything beyond that so any ideas and insights she may gain from the book won't be shaded by my views. Up to this point, I am further along information-wise. I acknowledged such to her and she agreed. She wants to catch up. LOL On Tuesday afternoon, I requested that almost immediately after she comes home from work, that we get together naked in bed. There we would hold each other, without a word for at least five minutes. Allow the anxiety and high tempo of the day melt away. Our breathing slowed and became synchronized. Her once tapping fingers of a stressful day slowed to a soft caress as I held her firmly. Her breasts against my chest. Her thighs against mine. Just five minutes of feeling each other's presence. Nothing else. We then discussed her day's activities, and how she felt about them. This time I was 100% invested in her concerns. The coversation became softer and included other things, but not any discussion of FLR. We then engaged in a steamy session that yielded two orgasms for her. None for me. I published this 'score' in lipstick on our bedroom mirror with a 2 under her initial and a zero under my initial. In red, of course. We repeated the ritual the following day, where the 'scoreboard' was updated to a 3 for her, while my score remained unchanged at zero. Subsequent days repeated the five minute nude cooldown session with passionate kissing to follow. No sex occurred per her desires. Last night I was awoken as she came to bed. The clue was not feeling her getting in to bed, but the unmistakable feeling of having ones testicles grabbed and caressed. No sex allowed per her direction. I dozed off having my balls firmly in my wife's hand. She finished only the first two chapters! We both are taking the baby steps. I must confess right here that our communication has never been better, the house never cleaner (she's not doing the cleaning) and the dinner menus never more varied. She is having a tough time now in not having to do the household chores, cooking and laundry, but is adapting as we both will. More to come as it happens. And this is all in less than a week!! The FIRST week.
Good for you both. You and your wife are taking a big first step. It sounds as if you are being very thoughtful and gentle. I really like your idea of a five minute routine. In the midst of everything we all are going through, five quiet minutes together should be very healing and recharging. I may borrow your idea. I hope you continue to write about your progress.
It really does get us both to a common ground, stress-wise. Once your both at the same speed, the good, open communications flow. If not, add another five minutes.
A fine example of what talking frankly to each other gets you, and of course, taking things in small steps at a time
Thanks for sharing. A good example of how real conversation, in a manner acceptable to both, can really enhance a relationship, no matter what the goal. It seems a FLR might be in your future, but in any case, you've certainly enhanced yours as is.
A short update. We had a friend over to the house Friday evening. Easy enough; it was order-in sushi. She noted that I was quite busy around the house, waiting on our guest, my wife & myself. The guest was caught off-guard by my serving and cleaning. She asked my wife what was going on, to which my wife said that I had decided to do the chores & meals since I was now retired. Any mention of FLR without the proper context would be detrimental. We'll figure out what to say (or not) and to whom to say it (or not) once we know, ourselves. That will come in time. Perhaps a year or more. Nothing happened Saturday, unless you count planting flowers. Sunday morning we decided to return to bed after watching a bit of the news and had a bite to eat. My wife was quite anxious. Incredibly wet, and she told me so. The sex was very steamy, with me verbalizing what I was going to do to her, while my fingers deftly played with her pussy and clit. She had quite the strong O, and we continued to revel in our union, holding each other while she was coming down from her O. Then, I knelt between her knees, with the head of my penis barely penetrating her vaginal sphincter. I asked for an orgasm. She slyly smiled, started shaking her head,and laughingly said 'NO'. I asked when I would be allowed release, and she said she didn't know yet whether it would be orgasm ratio-based (5:1? 10:1?), time based, or whatever crossed her mind. The girl's been reading. The lipstick/mirror scoreboard was updated. It's now 4-0.