So, when I'm just locking myself, I have little to no self control and end up unlocking later in the day... But when someone tells me to lock? I obey to a fault. I won't take it off until given express permission to take it off, no matter what.
well if you have not got the key it hard to take it off. unless you break it all and then you will get in trouble anyway.
It does help to have support to remain locked. Have you tried any of the timed lock boxes, or other tricks, like freezing the keys or mailing them to yourself? Those can give you anywhere from a few hours to a few days of added control. Of course, a Mistress is best of all.
I am actually a bit too scared to do that... There's something comforting about having the keys there in case of an emergency...
There's no way for me to get at the keys without the keyholder knowing I've done so. To me it feels like I simply don't have the option of unlocking without her permission.
It certainly depends on who the keyholder is (wife or random anonymous person on the Internet), and whether the cheat becomes visible (numbered tag broken). Anyway, I don't understand why anyone would wear a chastity device if he has the willpower to withstand the urge to masturbate. For me, a chastity device will always have to be connected with the inability to take it off.
I can control my urges to masturbate and remain chaste without a cage, but i enjoy the sensations a cape provides. It's presence is a constant reminder of a commitment to withhold immediate pleasure for a longer, more satisfying experience at a later time. It also signals a commitment to someone else, as your owner, that you won't misuse or access their property without permission.
Having a backup plan is the only way to go. Surrendering a key to an actual person or a virtual one becomes easier over time.. I would suggest at first not giving up the only access to your key(s) where you couldn't get to them 'in an emergency'.. Start off with something that you can adapt to a long-term solution that you are comfortable with. For me, I have a 'sealed' emergency key at all times. There are two, one for each style lock that I use for various devices. I have a picture of one on here... It's a tube with a slit at one end for the head of the key to sit in, then a hole on both sides to pass a numbered seal through the keyring hole so I cannot remove the key without breaking the seal. It's simple and obvious! For me, I take a great deal of care not to break that seal, personally and for my keyholder, it's a matter of pride and honor that I keep that seal intact yet it is always with me in the event that I need to use the key. The 'other key' used to actually unlock is kept in a key box protected by combination. KH has the combo, and is given to me from time to time with instructions on what to do with it, normally hygiene openings and occasionally for a controlled release. Take your time, find a method of 'keeping the key from yourself' even if it's right there in front of you, that works for you.
Do you have that thing with you all the time? Sounds bulky. I have no emergency key. If weird things happen, they happen. A situation where my life depends on a key to my chastity belt seems pretty unlikely to me. I am more concerned about the problems that do arise (such as smell, infections, chafing, restriction of movements and breathing) than those that could. I am not afraid of unlikely events, the same way as I am not hoping for unlikely events such as a lottery win. I guess that lottery players are those who always have an emergeny key in the pocket, as the disregard of probabilities is the same in both cases.
Any risk assessment is not just likelihood, but impact as well. In some circumstances an emergency key in a sealed container is a necessary option, even if everyone involved would prefer that it wasn’t.
smaller than a lighter... Not at all bulky. I was unaware that you were in a chastity belt, I figured you were referring to a chastity cage. I think a chastity belt is far more bulky and would certainly merit worry over being trapped in such a thing. My job is 95% 'desk duty', but that 5% that isn't, typically has me at risk of having to wear a 'fall harness' while climbing a radio tower, water tower, etc, or dangling over the edge of a tall building... I don't always wear one of those things, but when I do, there is a likely risk the leg straps would move upwards rather suddenly and where uncaged, bits just get tossed out of the way, but when caged, YIKES, could wind up with an unwanted castration. I keep my lock box attached to something at home... I don't always know if I'm going to be doing any or these risky stunts when I head out the door, so, this e-key is my only option to simply excuse myself to a nearby bathroom, send a verification picture of sealed key and intent to use it to KH, then as soon as I am done, relock and as soon as I can reseal the tube....
This is because you are a hard-wired submissive and a chastity belt is just one piece of this submissive puzzle. As a fellow hard-wired sub who married his Mistress (allow me to presume heteronormativity because of the Femdom tenor of the site), be open and honest with those you date, because the only way a relationship will work for you is with a Domme. Now that being said, once you find Her, there is absolutely no better feeling in the world. Everything becomes clear, you gain strength from it, and sex becomes an out-of-body experience. xo nancy
For self-locking, one way to overcome the lack of self-control is to have two keys... One is your emergency key - this needs to be semi-permanently sealed inside something that can be broken to obtain the key in an emergency, but otherwise out of physical reach. For example, a jam jar with the lid epoxy resined shut. If you also put dirty engine oil or other substance in the jar (that won't damage the key but will make retrieving it less simple), you'll not want to smash the glass without having thought about it. The second key is your working key. If you want to deny yourself for a period, you can leave this key somewhere that will either take time to retrieve it, or can only be accessed at certain times of day, or even days of the week. For example, in a desk at work, buried in a hole in your garden, nailed to a tree on a country walk, taped under a shelf in a public library, left in a bank deposit box, or buried in the corner of a flower display in a shopping mall, ... Different places will have different restrictions on when you might be able to access your working key. The covid lockdown could introduce a certain amount of randomness into it too, imagine hiding the key in a local mall only for the lockdown to be re-introduced at short notice!
You're probably right, I'm a total sub. Considering my last relationship was petplay based (its where I got the collar) and I loved every second of the play, I know I definitely love being a sub
yes I completely feel that way truly if someone says stayed locked you do beausce I feel we like to obey and see if we actually can obey commands and the way it kind of does control us. locking ourselves isnt always fun beausce we have no one cheering us or etc to stay locked and prove we can. just my thoughts thanks.
Your self control is there, but only when the submisive mind is with it. Just need to work on the discipline side of mind for your self. In my opinion. I to have had this issue but over came it with distracting my mind from such urges with something else, but when obeying is second nature to me as a submissive.