Hi everyone, I was wondering whether any of you have babies/children and if so, how you balance keeping your slave, FLR and managing your family? The reason I am asking is that I have a one-year-old baby and it's starting to concern me that he might witness me discipline my slave (baby's father and my husband) or other parts of this lifestyle. I don't want to expose him to things that are far too grown up for him. It's actually preventing me from being able to enforce certain rules that I'd like to, for example, I'd like my slave to be naked all the time apart from his device and a collar and lead. My slave permanently wears a chastity device, we operate a 100% FLR but I don't have like a dungeon or anything like that. It's a pretty normal UK household. Any advice I would appreciate more than you can know. Many thanks in advance, MrsChastity
Hi @MrsChastityXO My wife and I have two kids that are older than yours. Bottom line for us is all lifestyle activities take a back seat to our kids. In my opinion this is a must as kids should not be exposed to this. It can be frustrating and at times feels like a double life, but they are worth it and deserve it. While this takes away from spontaneity we schedule many things. For example punishment is once a week. Infractions are tracked on a list that she keeps on her phone. She used to have me keep the list and I liked that better as I sort of knew if it was going to be a bad week or not. Now I'm really not sure until she gets started what to expect. Dials up the fear factor. We also take advantage of sleep-overs and try to make sure if one has a sleep-over so does the other one. We also engage in much more subtle non-sexual FLR activities that are OK around the kids. For example I bring her breakfast in bed on the weekends. I carry the tray to the room, close the door and kneel by the bed to present what I made. At one point my son asked why I made Mommy breakfast in bed all the time. I just told him I love her and like doing nice things for her. I'd suggest you try thinking of ways he can serve you that you enjoy that aren't inappropriate around children. Schedule time where you can focus on doing the things that aren't appropriate around children when you'll have some alone time. As long as you're not overly loud nap time is perfect for this. When those rare moments of spontaneous alone time come your way, focus on each other. It's really not that different from any parents trying to maintain intimacy in their relationship once kids come along. The really challenging years for this (in my opinion) is after they quit napping and until they can self-entertain for extended periods. Then they become teenagers and you'll both want to be whipping them
It is our belief that there are some aspects of FLR that are totally normal to expose your children to, such as him cleaning the house while she relaxes or him opening doors. We say "My Love" as a substitute for "Mistress" in front of children or public. You just come up with a workable "in front of children" mode. But you don't ever completely turn off the power dynamic.
As everyone else has said the kids and their safety come first, it is sadly just a case of trying to be as discrete as possible and lowering your ideals to fit in but then taking full advantage of each and every opportunity of "alone time" when it comes along. As a grandparent now we have to make sure we do the same restrictions that we had to do as parents when our grandchildren come to sleep over. Life is always a balancing act between ideal and acceptable.
Thank you, everyone, for your input - all of you seem to be on the same wavelength as me. I'm finding that since we've had our child, I'm struggling to feel sexy somewhat, even though I now have my pre-baby body back and know logically I still do look nice. I suppose having my slave in permanent chastity does somewhat help because I can't really bring myself to engage in much sexual activity at all. The problem is, at the moment, we're living in a family member's house too (which adds to this) and our baby shares our room and I just cannot bring myself to do even vanilla things because it feels inherently wrong to me with baby in the room, even if baby is sleeping. It's incredibly off-putting because I worry I'm going to damage him somehow. So, I think you're right, I need to find some time when I can improve on our master/slave dynamic. At some point in the next year, we're hoping to be able to move into our own place which would help. Some of the totally non-sexual things we practice which I don't think any person would necessarily pick up as FLR like my slave makes all the cups of tea and brings in all of the money. He'll do things like do the supermarket shop and carry all of my bags etc. I guess, now I really think about it, there is still a lot we do still do. I guess I'm just missing being able to have some kind of intimacy because I feel like I can't be touched at the moment. Because, as you all say, baby comes first before everything... EVERYTHING... and baby is 100% my number 1 priority in life, for both of us. So I think maybe what I need to do is motivate my slave to keep working hard so we can get the money together to get ourselves our own place, and then I won't have to feel bad about doing grown-up things with baby around because, as you say, I can take advantage of bedtime etc. Thank you so much, everyone. If anyone else has any tips or ideas, I'm all ears and very grateful!
You know that millions of married people have been in this exact situation for thousands of years, right? There's a lot to worry about but this isn't one of them.
If you were my slave, I would not accept that tone lol But I do see what you're saying. But equally, I don't think you understand how I feel as my slave doesn't overly either.
It is hard to balance these things. We did not get into this lifestyle until our children were grown and gone. But, my crossdressing has been a thing for 30 yrs. Sounds like you two have got it going correctly, it is frustrating yes, but the times you can play are just that much more special. Keep up the good times.
i suggest routines or required practices as ways you cab keep your hubby under your thumb when 24/7 isn't possible... possibilities: his wardrobe-maybe require something under his work/play clothes, his weight-kept at an ideal, his physical conditioning-required exercise... i'm required to walk a mile at least 5 days a week and weigh myself every morning, his porn, honey-do list, send him text of smiley face when you've orgasmed without him, have him pierced-nipples,cock,ears,belly button, ear, nose..., mark him...
As many have said, kids come first. Their safety - physical and emotional - is the parents' priority, so you structure your intimate interactions around that. There's nothing else to add here.
just wait till they get older. it gets even more difficult. till they can drive or be on their own at least... find ways to enforce your dominance in a covert way and make good use of your alone time. the worst thing for a relationship is to put the kids first every waking second. that is why most marriages FAIL. without the husband and wife team, what is left is a broken home. work hard and play harder. by that i mean, every waking moment that the kids are around is their time, if you can slice out a few moments for some covert kink, GREAT. after the kids go to bed its your time to let your slave know how pleased or displeased you were with his behavior throughout the day when kids were awake. Kids should enhance a couples relationship, not crush it. sure things will change. you wont go out to the bars or parties like before, but you will have a lot more together time. how thats used is 100% up to the husband and wife. get creative. Kids are amazing even if it means sacrificing some kink time.