Some of us have children. Are we supposed to just stop?

Discussion in 'Off topic discussions' started by Jasmic68, Apr 8, 2019.

?

Do you have children living at home with you?

  1. Yes

    62 vote(s)
    66.7%
  2. No

    31 vote(s)
    33.3%
  1. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    It’s odd how different cultures and backgrounds can have such varied viewpoints on the same topics. Usually this topic revolves around “how to keep this separate”, and I being from America I say simply “ummm don’t let them see you naked, case closed. Lock the door when getting undressed.” I was shocked to learn that some do not have the level of privacy that I take as a standard. Some haven’t heard of putting locks on doors or latches. I don’t think I’ve been in a home bathroom without a lock in my life.

    If it is a question about balancing our lifestyle and activities with the time and effort needed to be a parent, then yes it’s appropriate. Tips for hiding gear and tools of the trade, yep. Asking about disclosing cages and the specific dynamics of your sexual life with your kids...nope, not appropriate or even in the ballpark. It’s not even debatable.

    I would think the difference between inquiring about juggling parenthood with this lifestyle, and informing children of it, is obvious. Then again, I thought every bathroom had a lock on it.
     
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  2. Bonobo
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    Bonobo Long term member

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    That’s American culture not the worlds.

    https://www.naturalchild.org/articles/james_mckenna/cosleeping_world.html

    The whole point of this conversation is to help people who don’t lock their kids out of there bedroom.
     
  3. Bonobo
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    Bonobo Long term member

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  4. PouchPantyLover
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    PouchPantyLover Long term member

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    @Jasmic68 I was one of the respondents and while I was firm, I was IMO not aggressive. I have two children and I have engaged in many discussions on this board regarding melding of chastity and other elements of our lifestyles with our roles as parents. I've also a strong record of being against kink-shaming and promoting an attitude of live and let live.

    The post you referenced was wildly inappropriate for many reasons. The first is the age of the children was so incredibly young. While there is nothing about the human body that needs to be hidden from them, exposing children that are 4 and 6 to anything sexual is inexcusable. It is why I suggested consulting a child psychologist so the parents would understand what they were doing. If the kids were teenagers I wouldn't have thought it a good idea, but would not have responded as strongly.

    Secondly the poster had some sense of their own impropriety when they commented that their living situation and school situation would prevent or limit the exposure of "Dad's secret". In other words it's not good for the general population to know, but it's OK for the kids to know. If something is inappropriate for the general population to know, it's generally a sign that children shouldn't know.

    Ultimately it is my belief that as parents our first responsibility is to our children. It's why I unlock on family trips. I know it's too hard in those situations to not be exposed, especially when we are camping. I have a problem with somebody putting their sexuality ahead of their responsibility as a parent. Ultimately as I said, whatever happens between consenting adults, I support. Just don't bring kids into it.
     
  5. winstonmacgregor
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    winstonmacgregor Long term member

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    Children have to face a lot of hardship in this world and need their parents to be someone that they can rely on without having to worry about them. What would the kids have to face if they brought up the subject to a classmate, teacher, or other parent? Chastity is still a tabu subject and they just don't need the stress from the judgment and shame. The cruel school bullies teasing them because daddy has a lock in his pants. Maybe you could gently introduce them in to the dynamics of your relationship without the sexual aspect though. A healthy alternative.
     
  6. SubP81
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    SubP81 Active member

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    I do have kids and we don't have a lock on our bedroom or bathroom door, we took it off the bathroom when they were little as they kept locking themselves in and couldn't unlock it, I've never bothered to put it back on again.... We are very open with our children and discuss age appropriate stuff with them, explain to them that everyone is their own individual person and you should never ridicule or mock someone just because of how they look or what they're wearing.
    Yes when the time is right we will discuss the birds and the bees, gay, straight, Bi, trans.... We will never discuss our sexual activities though i think when it comes down to that common sense should prevail.... Did you want to hear what your parents got up to in the bedroom??? Probably not so why tell your kids what you're doing!!! :)
     
  7. Beck
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    Beck Banned

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    I've written about this too somewhere... anyway, as a bringer of offspring to planet Earth, I can relate. All of the histrionic replies aside, the truth is you know the answer. If there is a problem, do something about it. If that means a temporary few years off from chastity, so be it. Life sucks. There are ways to balance deficits, however... be creative and don't worry too much. Kids pick up on that stuff too.
     
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  8. Peaches
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    Peaches "kinky guy"

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    We definitely will not be telling our kids about our sex life at any age. I am 33 and have no desire to know about their sex life.

    We will teach age appropriate lessons on sex.

    My wife was concerned about Chastity devices as I like to sleep nude and we have no locks in our house. So I have to wear underwear. Just a couple close calls with kids barging in while I'm changing or going to the bathroom.
     
  9. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    While I understand that you have no intention of talking to your children about your own sex life, can I just ask do you talk to them about sex in general? We haven’t talked to ours about our use of chastity and that was never part of my original post although it was the intention of the other Mansion member I referenced. My point is if you do not teach them about sex, whose job is it?

    My original post was more about how do others cope with the demands of chastity whilst navigating the trials and wonders of bringing up children. Your point about never sleeping completely nude is exactly the sort of thing I am thinking of, this is my own approach as well. Also instilling the notion that our bedrooms (including their own) is a place of personal space, a place of privacy, is important. We knocked on their door before we entered their room, and expected the same courtesy from them.
     
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  10. Peaches
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    Peaches "kinky guy"

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    Yes we do plan on talking about sex as they are ready. My oldest is 6. They are all thought what a penis is, a vagina and we use the actual names not funny words. We give them a vague talk about how babies are made/born.

    As they get older the discussions will be more in-depth.
     
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  11. PouchPantyLover
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    PouchPantyLover Long term member

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    Couldn't agree more on this point. Teaches them to respect others, an important life lesson that carries over into areas beyond just personal privacy. The do unto others as you would have them do unto you lesson.
     
  12. MRS.Lilith
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    MRS.Lilith Kitchen Mistress
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    Indeed. We have my husbands children over 50% of the time, and we don't tell them or involve them in any way. We never share anything about this, and neither would we want to. Just as we don't want to know what they are up to in their rooms.

    I think the outrage about the couple asking for advice about this was that it's generally considered inappropriate to involve children in sexual acts in any way , even by telling them about what their parents do in the bedroom. I think it was at least questionable to consider involving children in any way, if not downright wrong.
     
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  13. Leolocked
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    Leolocked Active member

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    #38 Leolocked, Sep 30, 2019
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2019
    I grew up in a naturist home nobody cared my parents had regular sex and the doors were always open. It meant that sex was not a taboo subject and meant we could have honest open conversations. The current climate is a hangover from the victorians. Before that things were a lot more freer. For a start it would not be uncommon for 3 or 4 generations to be living in one room and there were plenty of children still been conceived. I also found (they weren't really hidden) their VHS hire from the local store and would watch them while they were at work rewinding them to the right place so they did not know but I'm sure they did. I also found their toys and enjoyed exploring them. It hasn't damaged me and I don't think anything less of them. Though the day she brought in her dildo to show me how to put on a condom was very ebarraging at the age of 13 ish.

    I'm trying hard to not be like my parents. With thanks to the internet there are no magazines or VHS about. We don't walk about or sleep naked.

    I do have concerns that if I wear a device about them they will accidently find it they like cuddles still and sit on my lap. So would not want 'Daddy whys your willy hard' shouted across the school playground so for now until they are a little bigger if I do buy a device and move on from 'honour' then it would be a bedroom weekend away thing
     
  14. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Never been a big fan of using history as a path to the future. Yes many things were acceptable a generation ago, that doesn’t mean we haven’t moved on or evolved.

    Just two generations ago America almost exterminated a whole race. The last generation it was considered normal to segregate or to marry your cousin. Times change.

    So yes not so long ago families were bigger, homes were smaller, and privacy was luxury. But this is now. The bedroom and bathroom can be secured with a 50 cent latch, and if you can’t be bothered to spend a buck to keep your kids from your kinks, then maybe it’s time to give them up.
     
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  15. winstonmacgregor
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    winstonmacgregor Long term member

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    That is great that you turned out to be a healthy and open person but can you see that many interested in chastity might not hold the same teaching tools as you and it could harm children? Many chastity enthusiasts may not be mentally healthy enough to take on such a task and now it will involve an innocent child. It seems like real dicey territory.
     
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