My wife might be on board

So, I've been pretty relentless. She's said several times that she wants to be the keyholder, but there has been a constant hesitation. I'm not sure what exactly is the issue that gives her hesitation.

So I kinda chose to live a little dangerously. I've been sending her forum posts and other links a few times a week, and she typically does not respond. I bought her a couple books that she hasn't read. It's frustrating. So I sent her a picture of her butt as a reply, and told her that I would keep sending her nude pics of herself if she keeps ignoring me. She is very shy, and I don't have any nudes of her, so she knows that I would have to collect some. She threatened to lock me up, and I told her that it was the only way to keep me out of mischief.

Then I sent her a link to a story on literotica that explains why I would even want to be locked. And once she had read it, I told her via email that sometimes women think that the chastity kink is indicative of their man's dissatisfaction with the woman. I explained that for me, I would never be able to give up this much to someone who I didn't love and trust completely. "You are my world, and I want to make that emotional reality into a physical reality". And I self locked and told her that I was locked again. "Good!" was her reply.

When I saw her after work, she was glowing! I believe that my message was the reason for this.

So I placed the key in her phone case, which seems to be where she likes to keep it. Her case is clear, and she tends to leave the phone face down on tables, so the key is showing when she does this. The key has the text "BDSM" on it, so anyone who gets a close look is likely to be able to guess the significance. I have no idea if she is aware of this. I think she probably is, and I choose not to tell her because I think maybe she likes the display, but would feel compelled to hide it if I pointed it out to her. Maybe it's a mistake, I don't know. In any event, we were at a karaoke party with her friends last night, and the phone was displaying the key for a long time. As far as I can tell, nobody noticed.

So maybe we've turned a corner. Maybe it's only a tiny step. Time will tell.

 

A couple related links:

A forum post I sent with only the email title "This"
https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/i-miss-freedom.31126/

The Literotica story
https://www.literotica.com/s/why-men-crave-denial

A picture of her phone
http://imgur.com/gallery/a7PRBGU

 

I've been locked for nearly a week now. It's easier than last time. In previous times, I was aroused at almost every moment, but now it all seems more normal, and my desperate arousal has receded in frequency. I wonder if this cage thing can even work for me long term if KH doesn't actively tease me.

Up to yesterday, she still hadn't teased me. She hadn't sent me any naughty emails. She doesn't threaten me with delicious "KH says" dares. She hadn't ever touched the cage while it's on my body. I don't know how anyone self locks, because interaction with her is the only reason that this kink is drawing me in. I don't get off on being locked, I get off on her having this power over me. But what if she never comes around and uses the power? If she never uses it, does she even have it? I can't pretend that she owns me forever. How much longer can I wait for her to join in on playtime?

Well, last night, for the very first time, she reached into my pants and fondled my caged penis. It was simple and brief, but she did it. I've literally been waiting 6 months for this to happen, and I hope that I don't have to wait too long for more. My desire is for her to enjoy it more than me. For real. I want her to be in total control, and even more, I want her to take joy in making me desperately horny to the level of obsession with her. I want her to try to break me. Maybe I even want to be broken?

She hadn't taken this step before. I thought that either she found the whole thing too weird, or she was frozen with indecision, not knowing if I really wanted her to do this. Of course I've been desperate for her to pay any attention to it, but maybe she didn't know exactly how? I don't know what changed, but it's a breakthrough.

Being caged does sort of reset sexual interaction into virgin mode. Suddenly I can no longer take ejaculation for granted. I need permission! To date, she has never denied me. Actually, she seems worried that I may get hurt, and has always given me the key before I ask for it. Hopefully this will change. The whole point is that she exercise some control over me.

So anyway, we've been at this off and on for about 6 months, and this was the first time she interacted with the cage. I count this as a big step.

I'm elated that she has crossed that bridge, and I hope she does it more frequently, and drives me insane with lust. I hope she makes me beg for release. I hope she finds Joy in making me desperate for her touch.

 

So I had a couple days where I was questioning the whole thing. Do I really want to do this? My wife hasn't paid any further attention to the cage, and I was having comfort issues, and was generally feeling doubt about the path.

Then on Sunday, we attended an event with my kid and their friend where I thought that there might be a metal detector present, so I removed the cage prior to going.

When we returned home, the wife made no mention of putting it back on, so I just let it be. That night, I masturbated. The next evening, she asked me why I wasn't wearing it. "Do you want me to put it on?". "Yes". So I put it on and gave her the key. I wonder if she knows what I did the previous night while I thought she was sleeping.

So maybe she's more on board than I am at the moment? Her asking me to put it on cleared up some of my doubts, but I still don't know how much I can do without her taking a more active role.

 

Last night, my wife told me that she had a dream from the previous night that she had caught me wanking, and she was "so mad". I'm taking it as a sign that she either caught me the night before, or she is lurking in this thread. Either way, I got the message loud and clear!

 

I've shown her the forum, but she has been aloof about it. I should probably show her again. When I originally showed her the forum, I didn't realize that site visitors had to have a login to be able to read the Keyholders forum, so if she looked for it, I'm not sure what she would have seen.

 

"On board" is not a narrowly defined phrase. I think that she is on board, but moving more cautiously than me.

And I agree that it may take some time before she takes any control. She is certainly open to the idea. I think that she is unsure how to proceed and unsure of how our roles may change as a result. I think this is a good thing, because changing too quickly will probably result in someone being unhappy or stressed over the change. All that said, I'm kinda eager to throw caution to the wind and get owned.

I wrote her a huge email. Then I realized that it was too much, so I edited a lot out. The gist was that I wanted to thank her for playing the "silly little game", and that I really hoped for her to be happier with the game than me. I explained that I knew it was weird and crazy to think this way, but I honestly hope that she pushes me to the point where I feel horny desperation and even some regret for offering her so much power over me. I closed by saying, "I want you to own me for real. I want you to test me to see just how far I'm willing to go to do whatever (her name) says."

Her response was "I do own you for real (several emoji) Papi loco"

I've been locked for 15 out of the last 16 days at her request. The only unlocked day was my idea because I was afraid of medal detectors at a kids event. I re-locked at her request. So I think she's on board. I don't know how to gently push her towards teasing me. I can't do it if I'm locked and ignored. At least I don't think I want to. But I also can't feed her ideas for how she might get into my mind. It just doesn't work like that.

I need patience.

 

"Genius is eternal patience" - Michaelangelo

I feel like one of the kids touring the chocolate factory. I know I should wait, but when you have a piece of uncomfortable steel hanging off your genitals, time seems to run more slowly, and the definition of patience and eternal get a bit muddy. I know you all are right. I also know that it will be difficult to follow good advice. I will especially have trouble with Nicoftimes rule of thumb #2, "You can mention your desires but if you’ve mentioned something twice and haven’t gotten a response, don’t talk about it until she brings it up." It's so not fair!

 

I think I mentioned somewhere above that we are trying to have a baby, so I expected to be released soon when she gets a positive ovulating test result....

"I don't think I'm ovulating this month"

I'm not even sure if she's screwing with me or not. She's a notoriously bad liar, and I didn't detect any subterfuge, so it's probably legit. I think I might be looking at as long as another month locked up.

 

So things had grown quiet on the chastity front. We were moving and getting a house set up, and it was just on the back burner, but it was still in my mind.

So a five days ago, I wrote her the following email:

Ok, since you haven't touched the books that I gave you, I'm going to write a short thing about how chastity is "supposed to" work. I really didn't want to be the one to have to spell it out, but you have been stubborn about the books, and I feel like you will never hear it if I don't say it.

Don't rely on me. I have alterior motives. If you want to learn more, dig out the books or maybe research online (but there are some fucking weirdos online, so...)

On to it....

Of course, I have my ideas, but ultimately you make the rules. I think that even if you don't want to follow any of my suggestions, you might get something out of reading my opinion... Even if it only gives you a way to make fun of me. I honestly think that if you don't follow the suggestions, that you are missing the point and walking away from something that could bring us both a lot of joy.

Males also have sexual cycles. In a way that is analogous to the female cycle, men also have a sexual cycle. Our cycle also has an impact on our mood. Ours isn't driven by the passage of time as much as the female cycle is (or not in the same way). So you can't count on me being in the same cycle today as I was a month ago. But it is driven by hormones. Specifically, the hormones that are released when I orgasm.

Once a man orgasms, it changes his mood. To be frank, it makes me less interested in sex, and therefore less inclined to be trying to seduce you. That is a polite way to say that I'm more likely to be an asshole after I cum. And I'm also more likely to be sweet if it's been a while. Apparently, it takes a week to 10 days to transition from the asshole stage to the sweet stage. So basically, if you let me cum every 7 days, you may never see my sweet side. Every 2 weeks? You may experience as much as half of the time on my sweet side. Once a month or even less often? Yeah, you might have a full time sweetie. Maybe. At least according to what I have read.

So, adding a cage to this mix gives you a bit of leverage. Without a cage, most men will masturbate and reset that cycle. I know that I do. It's why you would want a cage. A week or so after my last cum, I really start to crave another. That's not to say that I won't cum every day if given the chance, but the desire is more intense after a few days.

I may say that I "need" to cum. If I'm in a cage, I'll will do many things that I wouldn't ordinarily do for you in hopes that you will let me out to play. This is especially true if I believe that you might play with me, so it's to your advantage to make me think that, even if it's not true. (I'm sharing an evil secret for you to use against me).

I want to be let out to play, but I also know that it's not to my advantage. After a week in chastity, I'm always aroused, and this creates sort of a high that is driven by my sexual cycles and the hormones that have been building up (I'm guessing that these hormones build up more slowly as men age). Of course I want to "overdose" on his feeling (cum) but I also know that once I do, I won't feel the high again for a week or more. So as much as I want to come out to play, I really want someone who can be wise when I cannot - someone willing to deny my addicts desire to do it just one more time. I really can't stop on my own, even knowing what it does to me!

Now, the more turned on I am, the more I'll be driven by a desire to be let out, and the more willing to bend over backwards to please you, my keyholder....

And men are simple. It's really easy, as a keyholder, to drive me nuts. The worst thing to do is to lock me up and then ignore me. It's better for both of us if you are a tease. Smack my ass. Send me a naughty message. Grab me by the cage. Whisper dirty things in my ear. Flex your power over me (this is a turn on!) and make me do something I wouldn't ordinarily do. All these things will make me happy and more importantly, make it my drive to make you happy. It's like a rewind to being a horny teen where my focus becomes you (and therefore whatever you want me to focus on). If you can seduce me to a frenzy, you will truly own me (and I will adore you for it!). If you lock me and ignore me, it defeats the purpose of the game.

So... Lock me up and play with my desires already!
​

Her response:

To the cage your pee pee goes!!!to the CAGE!!!
​

And I've been in the cage ever since. And she has been moderately toying with me. Of course I crave more, but I am happy for what I have. Hopefully it will increase over time.

 

Something has clicked for us. Last night we cuddled in bed like we haven’t cuddled in years. Maybe ever. I was turned on, but also totally content to just lay with her. It's hard to express the feeling, but it was awesome.

Every once in a while, something happens that makes me feel like people are really under-selling the profound change for the better that can result from chastity. This was one of those moments.

Of course other times, it feels quite lonely when she isn't engaged (which I was trying to address in my email above). So far, it seems to have clicked a little bit for her, though I don't know if she is enjoying it as much as I do. It seems like she is enjoying it so far, but there is always a danger of me being too clingy.

 

So I'm about half way through week three. Things are slow. It's normal living. We don't have a lot of play time. Our son will be out of town for a few days on a school trip, so maybe something will happen...

I started getting frustrated. Again, I have bee locked and left alone. So over the weekend, I started to grab the key to let myself out. She has it in her phone case. She asked me what I was doing, and I told her that I wanted out, and she refused.

This is a milestone. Also, I'm fucked.

So I have started writing my fantasies and sending them to her. She picked one detail out of the last one that wasn't even part of the action as much as a thought that she could attach a leash to me and drag me through the neighborhood by the balls if she wanted. Well, that little detail seemed to catch her attention.

I'm tired and can't write coherently, but I think we are moving towards something more. Maybe I'll like it. Maybe I'll regret it. Maybe I'll like and regret it.