Help with dominant wife... After kids...

Well have you seek what had change around in her life?
Pick up your diary and check what are the difference between now and then, maybe there is something.

There are also eventes like menopausia that could be influencal to her mood. Maybe some weariness?

I guess you have tried to talk to her? Or maybe she need time to think about her and her feeling. I would recommend not to push too hard on cage or sex thing and to be a lot attentionnate to her. Look like she is questionning herself.

One of the things my wife loves is that I am ready and I do anything she does not asks for and that is done without her asking for it. You could check that way.

 

Praise her for the weight she has lost and let her know how wonderful she looks

 

Did I read correct and she just kad a kid within the last year or so?

 

I was going to say. along with the permanent self-image changes of motherhood, she's raising a one-year old, doesn't get the sleep she used to (and won't again for years or decades), -and- is generously managing hubby's chastity?

that woman's a superstar. i'd give her all the time she needs to adapt, thank her frequently for all she's doing for you already, and make sure you're doing everything you can to help her. -everything- you can to help her.

 

If I were you I would relax and count your blessings that she is taking the time to keeping a lock on you, if she is trying to loose weight you might try and be more supportive and it's not always about what is in for you.
sorry if it sounds like I am over critical.

 

the recipe is very simple: we have to beg for what -they- want.

I will repeat that: we have to beg for what -they- want.

 

All of the above and migh I also venture to offer that you also offer encouragement.

You mention she has changed the way she plays. Is she tired are you doing all you can do for her? tThat micht be just appreciated or it might also prove helpfull in regard to your 'issue'

...... and as a BTW is it not for her to decide IF and how you play?

 

How about leave the poor Woman alone and stop making Her feel guilty. Being a confident Domme requires significant self esteem and duh confidence. i would suggest you back off big time and concentrate on supporting Her without expectations.

 

Complementing her appearance and not pressuring weight loss may be a start. My wife found that going to swingers clubs massively improved her self confidence, though that opens up a whole new can of worms!

 

I see nothing in your post that you couldn't discuss with a counselor or therapist. You feel like your wife is suffering from some issues with body image and it has resulted in changes to your relationship and a loss of intimacy. That's something they'd absolutely be familiar with. They wouldn't even run screaming if you told them about kink because they've heard much much much worse than what two consenting adults do in the privacy of their home.

I don't know what time frame you're talking about or what is reasonable, so I suggest you find someone and talk to them yourself. At the very least, they'll be able to help you deal with the changes and likely help you help her, even if that never results in her talking to a professional.

edit:
If there is ever a question if someone should go to a professional, the answer is almost always yes. If you can find someone good which is admittedly not always easy to do, they can be very very helpful, sometimes with things completely unrelated to why you went to them in the first place. The stigma against talking to people needs to go the hell away.

 

I think a very good step would be for you to help her realize that even without weight loss, you think she’s the most beautiful woman in the world. Tell her she is perfect just the way she is. If you both only focus on her needing/ wanting to lose weight, it makes the extra weight seem more of a burden on her instead of an opportunity to better your confidence/health etc.

Make her feel beautiful and accepted with her clothes on as she is right now, and likely she will start to smile more, glow more and engage with your lifestyle more again. Coming from a woman who struggles to lose a few pounds too, she needs to feel like that’s not all you see (that she’s gained some weight) and that her body is beautiful as is. Then as more weight is lost, it’s just making her more beautiful. It’s important not to lose sight of that.

My boyfriend has always made me feel beautiful and comfortable, clothes on or off, even though I’m not always happy with the extra pounds I’ve gained the last year.