Could you pretend to be dominant?

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by L-u-c-y, Nov 5, 2018.

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  1. L-u-c-y
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    Staff Member Owner of Chastity Mansion Administrator Verified Female

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    This is a question for male subs and slaves only, switches do not reply! :)

    There are always lots of posts from men asking how to get their wives to pretend to be dominant.

    If you are a submissive male, do you think you could pretend to be dominant? If yes, how long could you keep it going?

    I'm not talking about being dominant at work, I'm talking about being dominant with your partner.
     
  2. Miffy
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    Miffy Long term member

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    Yes no problem mainly due to the fact that my wife is very sexy so i'd make it work-hell yeah!
     
  3. KittensProperty
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    KittensProperty Kitten's Happy Property

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    As having been dominate most of our lives I don't think I would have a problem...She, on the other hand, would never be submissive to me again
     
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  4. Finn-egan
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    Finn-egan Long term member

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    Dominant or submissive is not an absolute thing, but relative to the dynamic between one person and another.
     
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  5. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    Well, I was a switch but would now say I was completely submissive.

    Could I revert? Yes, probably, but it wouldn't work, and it wouldn't last very long. We'd both get frustrated because it would become increasingly obvious that my heart wasn't in it.
     
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  6. Miffy
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    Miffy Long term member

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    Non starter tbh-my wife would never entertain the idea
     
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  7. hardbodysub
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    hardbodysub BrokeTheMold

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    I definitely could, just like I enjoy regular vanilla sex, too. Even though it's F/m that excites me the most, being attracted to my partner is more important to me than the specific roles. I'm not sure how long I could do it - it depends on how it goes. Who knows, I might find that it's more enjoyable than I expected. Damn unlikely that I could do it for a really long time, and almost certainly not permanently.
     
  8. Northernboy
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    I'm sure I could, if it would please her... but I know I'd be utterly unconvincing. Like watching a Nicholas Cage movie.
     
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  9. Unlucky
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    Unlucky Long term member

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    That depends on what my partner wanted. There are things like humiliation and extreme degradation that I couldn't see myself doing long term.
     
  10. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    In the beginning of our relationship she would have been fine with it, she wouldn’t now. Anyway, even if she wanted me to be,I couldn’t.

    I could fake it for a session or two, tying up and teasing, a few swats on the butt, but real dominance....no. I couldn’t throw my feet up and tell her to rub them, heck I’ve never been able to ask for a blow job in my entire life, so being vocal about telling someone what to do is about out of my comfort zone.
     
  11. Unlucky
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    Unlucky Long term member

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    Funnily enough, one of the things I don't think I could do is put a woman in chastity as that would make it difficult for me to pretend to be topping while really making it all about her.
     
  12. Susanstoy91
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    Susanstoy91 Long term member

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    I could not act or be dominant toward my Wife. I have always had too much respect for her. Even before we started MC. Maybe it's the age difference(10 Yrs.) but I could never do anything to her that would change things between us. She loves the way I am now... Locked, and under her control. We are very new to this life style, but I don't see it changing any time soon...
     
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  13. Kentishbillie
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    Kentishbillie Member

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    No. prior to our FLR starting, back when we were very much vanilla, we would have a bit of role play in our sex lives and we would do a bit of Dom/sub play.

    Madam was always better at it, if initially uncomfortable with it, but one she decided to take charge of our marriage and got some very good guidance from a Friend she settled into the role.

    for my part I just wasn't comfortable with it - I was a Alpha Arsehole at work when dealing with contracts, clients and contractors but I couldn't really dominate my wife, not because I physically couldn't but because I didn't want to. I was far more comfortable in the submissive/ subservient role.
     
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  14. Joey love
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    Joey love Long term member

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    I could act dominant to my wife but she’s probably kick my ass if I tried
     
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  15. Living Curious
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    Living Curious Long-term lockee

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    I cannot be dominant. I can, however, be the top because I want to please my partner. The important thing for me is that I feel submissive doing something, even if it also happens to make her feel submissive, too. I can feel a submissive headspace doing typically dominant actions that give her the headspace she needs.
    It's a dance, a balancing act. It's not easy but we love each other enough to find a way to give each other what we need.
     
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  16. Ma’ams Slut
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    Yes but it’s not fully pretending because I enjoy seeing my dom wife oh tied up and helpless and me doing stuff to her it just has happened that since she really got into this it happens less and less and she will tell me when she wants me to do things like that which is great because I want to please her and she still keeps the control!
     
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  17. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    It’s funny, once we started this, it went from her being tied, to me. Oral is the same...oddly enough once she no longer felt obligated to give it, it happens rarely and is a gift more than anything.
     
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  18. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Locked today, tomorrow, forever

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    Yes. You can pretend to be dominant or even submissive. The longer you pretend the more comfortable you may get with that particular role or realize that its not for you. We all have acted or played games where we’re someone else for awhile. I think it’s agood idea for every submissive and dominant to take the other persons position for awhile. You understand someone better when you’ve walked in their shoes.
     
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  19. L-u-c-y
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    I don't need to understand someone better, they need to understand me.
     
  20. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Locked today, tomorrow, forever

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    Definitely for you pretending wouldn’t apply. Most people aren’t as clear about who they are as you are their still discovering them selfs and how Chastity, submissive or dominant fit into their lives.

    This wasn’t directed at you in any way Miss Lucy their are very few people that are as strong as you are. You are Unique.
     
  21. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    That's the second time in two days I've seen that quote on a forum, and in my opinion both times the sentiment was wrong. This quote has become of those truisms that people like to use to show their inclusivity. And I can see where they're coming from.

    Sometimes.

    But not always. In this case, the idea of a submissive wearing the shoes of a dominant or vice versa is simply illogical. You can wear their shoes but have you still have your brain. And neurological wiring. And experience. So all you're going to get is very, very sore feet.
     
  22. L-u-c-y
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    I think it's pretty pointless. Every dominant has a boss at work, unless they own the company. Everyone has to follow the rules. It's not an alien concept to a dominant person.
     
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  23. Alceste
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    Alceste Chaste Member

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    Dominant, no. Top, yes.
     
  24. Calibob
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    Calibob Member

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    I could take control if she asked, but I would never be the dom in our relationship. Neither of us would ever want that. So I agree with Alceste, Dominant no, top yes, but I doubt for long, she would be topping from the bottom pretty darn quick!
     
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  25. steviepie
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    steviepie inferior and unworthy male

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    I only need to obey...….
     
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