I think we've settled into a good place with this, so much so that we're itching to talk about it with others. This forum has been great to find info and also talk about it a bit but we are wondering if anyone also feels like they want to tell everyone about it and, if you have, what was the reactions you get from others? We're not sure any of our friends or family would really understand what we are doing and why we are doing it. We also look at some of our friends and think "They should put his dick in a cage!", and then laugh but … they should. Thoughts? What have you experienced?
I’m still a solo act so probably not the best on this but I thought about telling my good friend about it but decided against it. I will be trying to talk to and explain with wife again. I guess it all depends on the people you want to tell how they’ll react. I weighed out the pros and cons of telling my friend and saw it as much more risk than reward. Even though he’s a pretty open guy
Even though it's a lifestyle it's still a kink and it would be pretty awkward to just blurt out to a friend/s. Puts them on the spot and maybe they don't want to hear about it. On the other hand if sex is a frequent topic of discussion with your friends and you've never brought it up because you're worried about it being a little taboo you'd probably be okay to broach the subject. Many times I've thought of different couples I know and how chastity might benefit them. I'd never bring it up to them though unless I knew they were into the same kinds of things I.e bdsm of sorts. Im on fetlife seeing if there are any other couples in our area that are into the lifestyle just so we can hang out with likeminded people and learn from eachother. No time in life for that right now but possibly in the future when there's more time I could see myself and my Miss attending munches and whatnot getting to know people. Maybe wishful thinking on my part.
Me and my girlfriend have been together for 10 years now we have just recently started playing with chastity and yes we want to tell everyone but we live in an area where most people wouldn't understand. And we don't want any negative feedback on the idea because this is meant to be a good experience for us. The biggest obstacle has been trying to tell the people who we would like to be on girlfriends list. She has started a list of people who she may allow to use me for thier oral pleasure so long as a few rules are followed. 1 I must be locked in my cage. 2 they must be approved by her. 3 no penatration at all. 4 it camnca interfere with work or school. We have told two of our more understanding friends one of whow is on the list they both took it pretty well but didn't really understand it at first. Hope this helps
That really depends on how open-minded the people in question are in terms of sex and kinks. I personally don't have anyone I would open up to right now. I don't really feel the need to, either. It would just make the relationship to those people unnecessarily awkward. I don't know anyone who would understand it but maybe we just don't know the right couples. Thinking about it, actually, 99% of our friends are singles... We have one couple that we're pretty close with but that's about it.
I remember when I first found this world and was so excited to tell everyone. I told my daughter who was 19 at the time basically because we live together and I was acquiring things and going to club. Thankfully very early on I met a very wise professional dominatrix who warned me about my future if I stayed in this world. If I wanted to stay in my small community, then be very careful. Keep it very separate from friends as they may not always be friends and you are giving them the power to destroy your life from the moment you tell them. Workmates may not be pleased at something that happens in the workplace and you can lose your job if they choose to tell your employer. Don't think you can run for public office as if you are up for public scrutiny, there is nothing surer than your kink life will be discovered. This is if you can keep it all quiet and on the down low. How many of us have seen the lurid headlines about the woman who whips men for a living, the woman who has had sex with x number of men. The last thing you would need is the papers parked outside your door to get the story of the woman who locks mens dicks in steel bars for fun.
If you tell, you may want to keep it simple and say that he wears a cage and that she has the key to let him out when she is ready. Just explain that sex is so incredible when he is released.
In the years that mg wife and I have been involved with chastity only 4 people have been made aware of it. The first was a confidant of my wives, who is probably the closest female friend of hers. The next 2 are a kink friendly couple we have known since high school. The subject was a slip up on my part to the lady during a conversation following a demonstration of some bondage gear I had built. It ended up being a question and answer session, which ended when she purchased my CB6000 off me that I no longer use. Her partner talked with me about it then not long after. I know it ended up be a kink that just didn't work for them. The last person was a my assistant while I was doing some stage performance work. I knew he was kink friendly and let him in the chastity play we did when I realized I was going to be unable to hide it during costume changes when he was helping me put things on. In my opinion, chastity is a kink and does not need to be displayed publicly. I respect the fact that there are many people not interested in it to varying degrees and see no reason why I should advocate my kink to them. That which is done between consenting adults is their business not mine. Your opinion may differ and that is fine, everyone is different and no one is better than or less than another.
Lee, now that is hot! One of my 2 sons knows (he lives with us). A couple of the wife's girlfriends, and one of the girl's boyfriend, know. One saw the key on her neck and knew what it was to, the other saw a picture over my wife's shoulder that was on her tablet home screen. It was of me in a pair of leather shorts with the snap off front panel open and wearing a clear Holy Trainer. She asked why I was so 'shiny' and Kitten told her. She is a bit naive and I'm not sure she fully understood. The only other people that know are members at an adult club we belong to. A lot of them were watching when Kitten locked me in her custom HTv3. As expected, no judgement from that group.
I think that's a dangerous journey, to be honest. The world at large is pretty small-minded most of the time. While some would be happy to accept our kink, many others would not. You could hurt those you love, or alienate those you like, or anger people you ought to fear.
The problem with telling vanilla people a bit about your kink, is that you end up telling EVERYTHING, because they jump to so many conclusions and assumptions.
Very true. But with that being said, I feel like chastity is one of the few kink that can be separated from other kink and not be super weird about it.
I once thought, hey, this is all innocent enough...I mean I’m locked up, it’s the opposite of sex, and no one would be aware of any kinky side stuff. But then I once accidentally texted this to my ex wife “good reading on FLR on Tumblr” which was supposed to be sent to my current wife(had recently texted the ex regarding child stuff). She texted oops to me, I said yep sorry, but thought it was innocent enough. I googled FLR Tumblr and there was a huge spread of kink. Granted, it is so broad that she wouldn’t know what I’m into exactly, but there was enough “other” stuff there to raise more than just an eyebrow. Chastity would be similar. You could mention it, but if someone did a casual search, enough porn filled kink would bombard them that they wouldn’t know what you were into. You could tell them what you were into, but that would be a more than a casual conversation. The most casual way to bring it up is to let them. A key on a necklace will get the question brought up of “what’s that to?” To get the ball rolling it could be somewhat easy to reply “I keep ___ locked up at all times, it sounds kinda weird but he treats me like a princess”. Follow up questions would ensue but you could issue a warning that it’s a bit risqué. Just remember, your friends cannot unknow these things, and may think of you in a different light after.
Being in chastity as well as in feminine clothing (CD), I/we really have to think a lot about who to tell what to. None of our personal friends know about either kink, but Mistress has told Her sister about both and in my shopping for lingerie and femm clothing, I've obviously "told" the SA's about my CDing. Then, when trying on a knit dress at Lane Bryant one day last year, I forgot about my cage when I was asked to model the dress. The bulge was obvious and elicited lots of questions. Now, every time I shop there, the ladies are always full of questions about my being caged. This unintentional dialogue has become increasingly personal and delicate. I have not shown them my cage while its in place, but I took our extra cage there in a paper bag for a little show and tell. They were/are fascinated about the idea of having their hubbies/bf's secured in their own cages.
We have never shared our experiences with family or friends, but we'd love to meet a couple that did share it. I think it would be fun for the wives to know that the others spouse was also locked.
My GF has a sister who not only knows about my cage but has seen me walking around my house with it on. She doesn't have a boyfriend right now, but based on the recounting of conversations my GF has had with her, I am 100% certain her next boyfriend will be in chastity. My GF is not shy about discussing the fact she keeps me in a cage if it comes up (a woman asked her about her anklet, which has a key on it, while she was grocery shopping, for example), and I'd discuss it with anyone if the subject came up. But it's not really something you discuss at the dinner table with most people.
I agree. It can be a wild ride if you don’t know what you are going to get and throw a search query down the engine, but I had better conversations before when I would introduce it along the line of extention of bedroom tease & denial. All couples do some sort of teasing and some does sexual one. It’s sounds a lot less scary when you explain like that.
A common fantasy for me is my Goddess telling another female that she cages me. The thought of two people knowing is hot. But in all seriousness it would never be just 2. That sort of thing would be told to others. As Benjamin Franklin said "Three men may keep a secret, if two of them are dead". Each to their own of course, and not for me to judge, but in our case we decided that a fantasy should stay just that, a fantasy.