Is this really what I want? ~ Newbie Realizations

Chastity means different things to each person/couple. It doesn't inherently entail orgasm denial, merely putting the power to decide the when and where in the hands of the woman. A couple with a man in chastity can have as much sex as one that doesn't. That can be standard penis in vagina (PIV) or whatever else your keyholder decides. Or it can be the opposite where sex in whatever form is a much less frequent event with orgasms for the man even more scarce. Each couple needs to figure out what works for them and that won't be what works for others.

Your first period of chastity is by far the hardest as it is a huge adjustment. You've almost certainly gone days without any sort of sexual activity multiple times in your life but you weren't thinking about it and now you can't stop.

It does, however, get better. For everyone, there is a point in time when you just adjust and stop obsessing about your own orgasms. Not such that you never think about it, but more that you're not constantly thinking about it. I would imagine that for most, that occurs within a week of denial but your mileage may vary. I'd wait until being able to go a week without orgasm a few times before deciding whether this is something you do or don't want long term.

 

Interesting....it sounds like your wife has taken to the idea of "your chastity" like a duck to water. Good Luck.

 

not for nothing do we continually say on here "be careful what you wish for."

 

“I like to see how frustrated you get. And it turns me on.”

This is her for the first time owning her dominance. Regardless about how you feel right now, if you pull the rug out from under her, that's the femdom stifled! A moist slope is a slippery slope. You should run with this and see where it leads her.

As for the rest: you're only a few days in. It sounds like you haven't had any sort of sexual experience while chaste. Give the new arrangement a few weeks, you may be surprised.

For me, chastity isn't about my intense orgasm, it's about intense intimacy and eroticism, and about experience authentic Femdom.

 

Everyone has those moments...moments of looking down and seeing a contraption on your privates, and realizing how easy it used to be to just have a good tug, to pee, to have an erection. Wtf indeed!

That’s not even the end of it either, there’s morning erection attempts, various abrasions, constant lubing and maintenance, and for those pierced...the realization that you now have two holes there and you now don’t even orgasm or pee the same.

But...there’s that point where she enjoys you locked more than you, and she freely takes control, and it just seems like it is supposed to be that way.

Good luck

 

Very difficult to answer. If you opened the door for her it might be very tough to stop. What is on
the inside is not always seen. Open the door and well....She may very well enjoy this and thought
about it before. If so you may be trapped. It can be very rewarding if you can get used to it. You may
have gotten more than you asked for. Good Luck.

 

how about that moment when it dawns on you that you will never have intercourse again.....

 

I think it was right around the one year mark that she said that she couldn’t ever see us going back to me not being locked up. I questioned her, and said forever is a long time, she just replied that she wasn’t the same person she was, liked who she was now, and wouldn’t give it up.

So it truly is good that I’m ok with that, because it might have become a sticking point if I had changed my mind.

 

Same, just worded a little different. I wouldn't want to go back either.

 

Unless its on her terms.

In the last 50+ days or being locked I've had 1 anal/prostate orgasm, 2 milkings, and one ruined vibrator orgasm. But I know shes going to want a turn on my little guy eventually again.

But would not change a thing now.

 

That's exactly how I feel about chastity it's kind of no middle ground it's like you think about it non-stop. Everything gets a bit on hold until get released. As you say it's kind of like a fog

 

As Lester says " Be careful what you wish for"

Your on a learning curve that looks not to be going as you would like exactly, Now you have to either carry on and let it roll or go back to before, if your Wife/Mistress will allow. Going down this route will give your wife full control so you have to live upto that and if she isnt in the mood for teasing or sex then you have to suck up to it and be patient. It will be worth the journey im sure as most guys who do go down this road usually are happy.

We have been into mild crossdressing and bondage for over 30 years and now chastity for the last 18 months or so. My wife/mistress has now taken full control of my sex life and her libido isnt as high as mine so we have a good 4hr session usually once a week with a couple of short teasing sessions in between. We are now at the stage im fully locked at all times except when i go away Hiking or togging. I've also been informed now on 2 occasions that i will not ever receive a normal orgasm again only ruined or prostate milking for me, Am i comfortable with this ? Yes, as it leaves me in a heightened state most of the time so i can serve her best, and is a great dynamic for me on the denial aspect.

I know do all the household chores giving her more quality time after she finishes work as have retired early and have spare time between my hobbies.

 

as a wife and kh for @jb123... i will say we have hit a few rough patches in the last four months that we have been doing this... he brought it up to me two years ago after my sister died and i shot it down...... but in march he ask me again n i told him let me think about it..... we talk... i wasn't to thrill about the idea.... but we have some changelles to deal with..... i have no sexual drive due to my illiness and he has of a high sexual drive.... but we are working through trying to find a middle ground...... i will say im not into femdom.. im not a contolling person .... so it took me a while to get use to the idea that im in crontrol of his body.... i still have my resevers about it.... it just take time to find the middle ground... both of you need to talk about it n communcate with each other... i see it as a partnership.... not a dominace.... but thats just me.... give yourselves time to let it sink in.... i wish you happiness n blessing... and learn to enjoy the jouney togethr.... whatever you do ... do not rush it....
Mrs.B

 

"there's that point" -- that point's the *goal* of almost every man here.

 

A chastity device isn't what keeps a man chaste. It is his desire to remain so that is the lynch pin. A chastity device serves as a reminder of that desire and something that slows you down when your mind starts to waver ideally long enough that you regain control. A device attached to a piercing would increase the difficulty, but even those aren't full proof.

I say this because literally any (realistic) device can be defeated without detection if a man is sufficiently inclined to do so.

We don't mind the rambling.

 

A very legitimate response. I can relate.

 

Lots to think about after reading all these posts.
I’m hoping to bring my wife into the lifestyle so I guess I should be careful about what I wish for...
But I’m still wishing

 

Good for you, it's working!