This post on a separate thread shows how some males would choose to play secret games with a Domme, over admitting to their own wives their need to be in chastity and use their contained sexual energy to be a better, more attentive husband to them. For husbands here: have you ever reached out to a dominatrix behind your wife's back, and if so, what were you looking for your wife would not do?
Things are even more involved then just having my wife not want to dominate me. I am 67, and she is 66 years old. She has no interest in sex at all now. I on the other hand am horny all the time, and masturbate daily. Sometimes I can orgasm, and sometimes I can’t, but that is OK because I just have to satisfy myself. How many more years do I have left? I was so lucky to find a dominatrix who fulfills my kinks. I am being very careful that my wife will not find out, and I will only see my dom. every 6-8 weeks. It is so much better then having an affair. Being retired, I’m with my wife all the time except the 1-2 hours I am spending with my dom. every 6-8 weeks.
I am now divorced and have been since 2016, and while the lifestyle and her lack of interest in it (and me) was not the deciding factor in our split, it was one of a hundred contributing factors. I did look for someone who shared my interests in the lifestyle while was married and who enjoyed strict control, chastity, entrapment, and was both sane and a little cruel. Now that I am officially single, I am looking for pretty much the same thing, but without the gnawing vanilla guilt. Maybe that sounds a little screwed up, but i'm done apologizing for what i am ideally seeking.
Thank you for your candor--did you find then what you were looking for, and have you felt your needs change since?
I cannot fathom how tough a sexless marriage would be. That said, and this is more rhetorical than anything... How is this not an affair if you're actively hiding your sexual activities from your partner? Nice question, @RexVa; I've been curious about this subject as well. It'll be interesting to see the replies.
Needs? No. I did not at the time, unfortunately, and am still looking both locally and in online forums like this, fetlife, collarspace, etc., Ma'am.
My wife is taking care of me beyond my wildest dreams. It took me over 1.5 decades to muster the courage to ask her what i truly wanted out of our relationship though... I can’t fathom a sexless or kinkless marriage. I won’t even begin to judge a man who is faced with that dilemma.
Do share, @luckyhubby83, how you managed to do it! Are you getting now everything you 'truly' wanted?
To be honest, what kinks im interested in pale in comparison to being able to finally "tell all" with my wife regarding my sexual interests outside of vanilla sex. she now knows everything that makes me tick, what really excites me, etc. and she has started to slowly implement what she is comfortable with. basically i left the ball in her court to do with any or none of it as she pleases. she has become fond of the rattan cane and the solid polymer cane i bought her. still very "new" to all this being shared with my wife, as that discussion happened in February. Slow but steady the turtle wins the race. if everything was left as it is now with no new progression, i am still incredibly blessed with what i am given and able to give her. anything else thats introduced is icing on the cake.