When did it become real.....

it became real when she told me to keep the cage on and that i would not be teased any more before work.
i had grown accustomed to a daily tease before work, but now its at random if im lucky.
i did tell her she was being too nice to me though as she was teasing me 2-3X a day

 

It was about a year ago after Xmas. I had gotten pierced in August and had been locked fairly continuously and about this time I was completely healed and could have sex/teased/playedwith it but it wasn’t happening. Sometime from when I was pierced and giving her all the orgasms, and me not getting any, she had stopped feeling guilty or obligated to perform for me.

Longer and longer periods of lock up, plus some open communication about her need(or lack there of) of my cock made it apparent that it wasn’t about me any longer, and with the piercing, sneaking out of it wasn’t even an option. I then realized she had not given me permission to touch myself since we started all this, an it was likely not going to change. That’s when it really hit me...I may have touched myself for the last time. That was when it was lifestyle and not just kink.

 

It became real after the 30th day of being locked up. She would allow me to remove it to clean it. Then one day she told me that I didnt need to remove it to clean up anymore and handed me q-tips and said use these. It hasnt been off since.
She also threw away all the spare keys and has one key that she keeps on her at all times. I havent seen that key since and Im not really positive she has it anymore.

 

Nice thread

 

I don't know that there was any one event but, in retrospect, her control and my corresponding submission to that control has been progressive over time. We did start out viewing chastity as a fun game where I was locked for only a few days at a time. My wife liked to tell me that I would stay locked for a specific number of days and enjoyed the effect of the anticipation.

One time after about a month of playing she had set a Friday night as the time I would be unlocked. She teased me relentlessly for a few days. However, when Friday night came she announced that she had changed her mind and wanted me to pleasure her while still locked. That was a bit of a turning point because, up till that point, she knew I was an enthusiastic participant when she wanted me to lock but had never fully imposed her will before.

Fortunately, that night I resisted the urge to whine about my predicament and complied with her wishes even though I had been looking forward to being unlocked. I think it was an early signal to her that I would obey regardless of what I wanted or what expectations had been set.

 

When I first read this thread I had to think. When did it become Real? I like to think it's been real since I committed myself to my Mistress years ago but it's not really Real untill she excepts and takes control and us as subs realize that. So for me it wasn't almost 8 years ago or 3 years ago but this last July after I turned 55. It was than that I realized that with out a doubt that I was the property of my Mistress and she would and could do with me as she pleased. This time in my life was the greatest time I can remember and to be where I am now as her servant is where I want to remain forever.

If anyone is interested in my Journel "On Display" around post 444 is where this happened.

Great Thread.

 

Great question.

Not sure if we had any specific moments, but I do remember having been locked up for several months, and coming down with a flu. I was in bed for a week, and afterwards, Mrs Edge suddenly realized that I was still locked. She said she hadn't even thought about unlocking me because I was sick.

 

About 3 years ago we had a bit of an argument over something silly (can't remember what). So we both went off in a huff. So I got it in my head that she didn't want to play anymore, I had a hunt for the key and soon found it and off came the cage. Next morning I was leaving for work and Mrs Chaste will never let me go without out a kiss (and a feel of my balls). "Where's your cage?" No reply from me and off I went. After a couple of fairly "quiet" days we were on our own and Mrs Chaste came up to me and started to snog me. "I'm going to have your cock now, then I want you locked up again!" So after a wonderful making up session I was safely locked away again and once more very happy. Mrs Chaste said she was really pissed off not about us arguing (that happens sometimes), but that I'd unlocked myself! She said that she was furious about it and I wasn't ever to do it again! I had asked to be locked and she had done so, and it wasn't up to me anymore! So I agreed with her and suggested I get her a keysafe then I couldn't do anything without her say so. She told me that having me locked up had become very important to her and was part of our commitment to each other and wasn't "just a game" anymore. And I fully understood what she meant and what's more it made me feel "safe" and wanted. Since then the keys are safely locked away, just like me, and I need to have really good reason to need to be unlocked. The good bit is I can't think of one!

 

It became real about three years ago when the wife said to me I can't see why it should ever be unlocked and she said no to release....it sinks in then that it's real
She enjoys my fantasy more than me now lol and I am locked year in year out and constantly tells me it's only for peeing
Best thing ever we both love It and can' see it changing

 

The power exchange in our relationship has only grown stronger over time, give or take a few roadblocks that have since been sorted out. Incorporating D/s into our relationship was not an eventuality but part of the original arrangement. I knew, if we were going to do this, I'd only accept submission; this mentality was instilled before we even saw each other for the first time. My, how far we've come, when I think back to those days...

As such, I'd say the evolution of knowing, securely, that I was in control has been a bit blurry along the way. Hard to distinguish an exact moment that built the momentum but it was always a constant undercurrent, nonetheless. Heated exchanges in conversations, quivering anticipation, and his obedient service have paved that path for quite some time, but if I had to pick one moment from our journey to answer this question...

... it'd be the first time I edged him so relentlessly, that he actually started to cry. I knew he wanted to spill, but I made him tell Me that he didn't want to cum. His anguish was apparent, but he obeyed through choked-back tears. He'd rather be 'miserable' in that moment, rather than letting go of his submission.

Damn, that moment was intense. I was soaked... and the ridiculous smile on My face was likely indicative of that pleasure.

Nice thread, thanks for the prompt.

 

Of course there is that first time that you are thinking “you’re seriously not going to unlock me?!!” Lol!

 

It always seems to feel real for me as it has been a way of life from the start and not just a game played for a few hours here or there. But there are times when it feels more real than others. After a week or more of being locked with no T & D, and then She must go away the following week on business travel while I continue to remain locked and alone, reality quickly sets in. The reality of my frustration settles in and I am reminded of the fact that I am Her property and I have no control.

 

Hmmm....not sure how to answer. It is still a game to us in the sense that it's fun. We both enjoy it. And yet it is certainly "real." It has been since I finally stumbled on a device that stayed in place consistently without allowing one or both balls to slip out unintentionally. Then I realized this could work for an extended time. That was last September. (2017).

I've been locked most of the time since then. Since 1/1/18, I've been unlocked only twice, for a few hours each, and by her decision. Both were rewards for giving her a particularly powerful orgasm the night before. I was allowed to orgasm each time by jerking myself off while she watched. (which she gets a kick out of)

In sum, I pleasure her to orgasm almost every night. I am motivated to work hard at satisfying her by the chance to have my own orgasm, which happens about once a month. We both love it, as it has improved our relationship greatly. Sex and intimacy for us had dwindled to almost never prior to stumbling upon the idea of chastity and key holding. So, it IS a game-an adult game-but it is also as real as anything else we do in life.

 

I would say it began after 5 month after I told her about my fantasy, when she realise she can have a real control on me and it was working. I was playing my fantasy but at the same time my mind was already submissed to her as we play a "roleplay of FLR". Our FLR become real and she began to play on her own.
once she taste her power she does not let it down at any moment.

 

This is a great thread and post. Were I still a Mod I would very likely make it a sticky.

But you are right. It is very often that this is the defining moment of a relationship: it is the cpmpletion of the power transfer so she's got it and he's lost it.

And they both know she's keeping it and won't let go now. Especially if (as she usually will) she has other handle by which she can to all intents and purposes enforce it and there's not a lot he can do about it. It's often the transition point to a full FLR.

The details vary individually of course. Mine is wholly atypical as it was serious from the start. (Though we had had a vanilla relationship prior which had come to an end over a year beforehand)

I shall be watching this thread to be sure.

 

Your point of view is very important for us, the over side of the moon in fact.

Your analysis is right, we give, she takes and never gives back. The cage is just a part of the FLR but when we arrive at it she is already in control of you, and you mentali submissed to her.
tell us your story and what you think when he gave you the idea of FLR? How you accept the idea?
for example my wife is shy and submissive and she slowly realise her power and fredom gained and exploit it.

 

If there was one quite significant moment for me in my chastity journey it was this.
It happened because I was continually getting frustrated with my keyholder wife 'not doing it right', mostly I kept it internally, as I was trying hard to not top from the bottom. It happened quite a lot but it changed only when I decided to change my mindset.
Instead of thinking about how it was affecting me, I concentrated totally on her pleasure (both in and out of bed), and made the deliberate decision that anything that caused me frustration I would instead think of it as her imposition on me to be submissive so I should not complain (not even internally). When I made that change the effect was amazing. Everything she did, whether deliberate, conscious of it or not, became her having her way with me, and me accepting her having priority and superiority. I made her the dominant without her having to change just by being totally submissive in a passive way.

 

Absolutely. Topping from the bottom never works and once the TPE is complete it is not going to happen. She won't allow it.

 

Wow you want someone else

 

No.

 

I honestly don’t even know what that means. Are you talking about the moment you stopped playing on occasion and started doing it as a regular part of your lifestyle? In this case I assume most people that buy a cage never make the transition. That is certainly my case, I cant imagine a single kink that would remain fun after paying non-stop for too long.

Now from what I read here most people that do it as a “lifestyle” are using the cage as one of the tools to build a certain type of relationship (D/s, FML, etc.), but that is a whole different can of worms that goes way beyond the kink itself.

I think most people who buy a cage use the kink to enhance the existing relationship dynamics, not to change it into some domination fantasy. I for one would never want to be in a relationship like this, being "dominated" stops being fun when you leave the bedroom.