My lady and I have been exploring our kinks and other ways to deepen and add some new vitality to our relationship. I'm starting this journal to capture some of my explorations alone and as a couple. Before I begin, here's a little bit of background. We've been together for about 1/3 of each others lives. Prior to becoming a couple, we both had a fair number of partners (~15) and had threesomes or more-somes (in her case). Sex is a critical part of our relationship. We've always been comfortable discussing sex and our desires. While time allowed us to build considerable trust and to become deeply acquainted in an almost indescribable way, like every long term relationship, some of the initial "spark" has faded. Plus, life, jobs, and study, keep us from being intimate as frequently as we would like. All in all, a pretty typical situation. For us, the thing that really seems to be missing isn't the sex per se, but the anticipation and excitement leading up to it. In the last few years, we've been temporarily apart for a few days a week as a she worked hard to further her career. The time apart gave me the opportunity to explore some of my kinks. During my explorations, I learned that I happen to like anal play (a lot) and that I really enjoy being teased and denied. Throughout our relationship, I have always been more dominant (especially during sex). Interestingly, as she advanced in her career, she became more assertive and dominant in general. Ceding to control in bed and on other matters on occasion was a welcome change. Given my interests, and changes to power dynamics in our relationship; chastity seemed like a logical place to explore next. After reading this website and a bunch of other resources, I took the plunge and ordered a Holy Trainer. At this point, I’m very infrequently locked but I expect that will change overtime. I hope you follow my journey and our explorations.
Wow, it's been nearly a year since we started exploring chastity play. Along with new kinks, 2017 turned out to be unexpectedly hectic. Now that we're almost into 2018, I decided to actually get around to posting a Chasity-journal. First Chastity Cage Experience My lady hasn’t been traveling as much as before, while a welcome change both of us got accustomed to having some personal time. A little while ago, she ended up visiting a friends and family for nearly a week. I’ve shared some of my solo-sexploration exploits with her and she was very adamant that I explore some of my kinks. We had talked about chastity before as part of occasional femdom sort of play and she is supportive of the idea, but left the details to me. First Encounter My chastity belt, a clear, small, Holy Trainer (HT), arrived shortly after she began her vacation. I was practically giddy when I opened up the package. With a bit of silicone lube, an old stocking (thanks for the tip Denying thumper), and lots of thinking about baseball, I was able to get my device on. And it was…surprisingly comfortable. I spent much of that evening getting acclimated to the HT. The only thing I noticed was the occasional sensation of the HT snagging against my clothes. Peeing was a bit more of a challenge. I (very) unwisely, consumed a fair bit of fluid. The first time I placed my HT, I aligned it a little better the second time, not so much. In the spirit of things, I tried cleaning and drying with a Q-tip, then gave up, and unlocked the device. After a brief clean, I locked myself up again. I spent the remainder of the evening locked, and only removed the device to sleep. Total Caged Time: ~5 hours Second Experience I texted my wife about my first experience and she was eager for me to try to wear it for a bit longer. She asked me to try to double the time or least hit 8 hours, and I agreed. The next morning. I got up, made coffee, and locked myself in. I spent most of the morning picking up and doing general household kinds of things (pretty much my usual weekend morning routine). Since I was home by myself, I did what most men would do in my situation; I looked at porn. Again, much to my surprise, the cage wasn’t nearly as uncomfortable as I expected. Aroused, and frustrated, I broke out some of our anal toys. I played for a bit and discovered that not being able to stimulate my penis heighted the sensations from my other erogenous zones. In particular, I found that I could really focus on my prostate and experienced a bunch of non-ejaculatory orgasms. I leaked plenty of pre-cum but didn’t orgasm in the traditional sense. I crossed 8 hours, and being a bit of an over achiever, went for the “gold.” Eventually, I removed the device to shower and sleep. Total Caged Time: 15 hours Third Experience Just like the day before, I woke, had coffee and locked myself up. My wife was returning from her quick trip to visit friends and we were both eager to see one another. When she got home, she was checked out the cage, and said that it was “adorable.” She still wasn’t fully sold on the idea until we went to the bedroom. What began with some curious reviews and questions, quickly turned erotic. After a bunch of teasing, and orgasms (for her) she unlocked me, and we had great sex. As it was pretty late and a work night, she took the keys and the device and placed them in her nightstand. Total Caged Time: ~9 hours
I find your journey to be very enjoyable. When I started posting about my life in chastity I had already been locked up almost allt the time for over 5 years. I had forgotten about a lot of the earlier issues that worked in my mind as your post clearly shows. Your Jouney is going to be very interesting to read. Please take the time to continue. Thanks
Fourth Experience All of the previous experiences occurred a few weeks before Christmas. We had already agreed that I wouldn’t wear the cage during the work week, or to sleep (yet). Those limitations plus typical, hectic pre-holiday preparations greatly impacted my time spent in Chastity. We were both really stressed out, which pretty much eliminated all sex and masturbation. Her sex drive plummeted and we were both super cranky. I only was able to wear the device for a few hours, in order to test a smaller diameter ring. Total Caged Time: 4 hours Interlude: A very Frustrating Holiday For a number of practical reasons, I wasn’t going to be caged while visiting family over the holidays. She asked me to be chaste during our visit anyway. I agreed, as a super squeaky guest bed, family, and residual stress wasn’t conducive to erotic activities anyway. Mostly, it was fine, except for the massages. To help her de-stress my wife had me give her full body massages every night. It turned out to be a highly pleasurable experience…for her. Like any good massage, I was able to relieve most of her stress by the second day. Now that she was relaxed, her sex drive starting climbing again. For the next few nights she got to relax and cum quietly. I wasn't allowed such relief. Rubbing her naked body was rough enough without being able to bring her to orgasm with my fingers. I was so tempted, but I resisted (to the dismay of my penis). In retrospect, I wish that I had brought my Holy Trainer. Total Caged Time: 0 brutal hours
I've noticed that in your thread you've referred several times to the device as yours. Forgive me if that's just a turn of phrase and I'm reading far too much into it - which I could easily be because a) I'm a newbie and b) I can see that your wife is already exercising some power. But it did occur to me that your wife might also see the CD as yours not hers. Not sure how significant that is in your case, but all my reading suggests that the results for both partners are better if one holds the balance of power in all respects. Just ignore me if I've got the wrong end of the stick, but if not maybe worth a thought.
The subject of not being caged while visiting relatives or away from home has come up many times before. Personally I've been caged now for over 7 years almost all the time. I've never had any issues while visiting, it's not as though we're running around wearing only our underwear. If your cage fits properly and close to your body like the Holy Trainer does it's not as noticable as you may think it is. Also people aren't looking at your crotch nearly as much as we think they are. Once you get use to wearing it all the time it becomes a part of you.
It is mostly a turn of phrase, but we both consider it to be "my device" in the same vein as a pair of my underwear.
Had I been able to wear it continuously for a few weeks, we probably would have. I wasn't at all concerned about family noticing, but we were concerned that it might break, or somehow get stuck at an inopportune time. Either concern would have been minimized with sufficient experience.
I also consider it my device. What’s inside isn’t mine but the device is part of me. I chose it, I wear it, I adjust it during the day, I clean it...in fact I can’t think of anything I own that is more mine than my chastity device. I know some here allow their kh a large say in their device. I wouldn’t mind getting her input on what she finds aesthetically pleasing, but for something I wear that much, I would have final say.