Entering a new world.

Welcome Madam

 

Wow YessX, volumes could be written on the questions and concerns you just expressed. With over 30 years involvement in the overall lifestyle, 20 with my current wife, there is a lot I could say. But just to keep it down to basics right now, do a lot of reading on the topic, here and elsewhere, and be very firm in your conviction as to weather you really want this for yourself first, and with him second. He needs to make a commitment to you and to weather this is what he wants. If it is, then he needs to make concessions to you regarding honesty and obedience, at least for a trial period of lets say 6 months. When you mentioned not speaking to each other for almost a year, that just isn't right. If your lucky, you get about seventy of those years, and you are already 24 in, so to give up a year of walking on eggshells around your own home which should be a retreat of peace, love and tranquility, think twice before you let that happen again. One more thing, put aside the playful, fetish oriented aspect of the lifestyle for the first part of the trial period, there is plenty of time for that later. To start, make it more about setting boundaries and showing respect for each other. GOOD LUCK! RAZ

 

My experience says that open communication is the key! Without it, don't waste your time.

 

I think its very tough at age 24 to have the insight and emotional maturity to make those kind of decisions. (I certainly didn't) And that's not meant to apply to you specifically. Some 24 year olds are more prepared than others to enter this lifestyle. Plus, it depends on the level of intensity you want to take it to. It doesn't have to be "all or nothing."

From your description, I'd be very leery of entering that kind of relationship with this guy. You weren't speaking for a year? That's a lot of time at 24 years old. And he's your ex? There is likely to be all kinds of baggage with that. What happens when you meet someone else? or he meets someone else? In general, this lifestyle/kink/fetish/whatever you call it works best for long term partners who know and trust each other very well. For example, my wife of 36 years is my KH-and we just started a few months ago. We love it, and now wish we'd started earlier, but we both agree that it's not something to be done lightly. We really weren't ready for it until our kids were out of the house. Good luck and be careful!

 

Well said Donna Sue!

 

There are a lot of options on how you enjoy Chastity. I am a married man and am locked my my lovely wife. I think being younger should not stop you from playing my wife and I have been playing off and on for a while (over a year) till she reaped the full benefits. She is 28.
I will say however a sexual relationship is hard with someone you were once committed with, it seems that your relationship ended from his secrete, one you are interested in perusing? If so enjoy but you may want to talk about your demands and desires from this. Tell him this isn't going to be his femdom porn fantasy and lay down your terms. My wife has enjoyed the affection and devotion she has gotten, she has the key so I know I am owned and will not get the key back. Her term is that I will be permanently locked and she plays with me when she wants, I do what she tells me. She knows my limits...


Talk to each other find the limits make it about you, and enjoy your desires and the benefits but know that your age, or relationship status is likely less important that your communication skills.

 

BRAVO Allen, well said. It sounds like you have a really wonderful relationship with your wife. And welcome to Chastity Mansion!

 

I suggest taking the key. Then put your stiletto clad foot down, set some firm terms that the both of you can live with. Since he is your ex I would also suggest no sexual contact especially for him for a time just to see if this thing is a viable option for the long haul.

I know it has been said before but honesty honesty and honesty and some more brutal honesty. You have to be able to communicate with him and he has to be able to express himself to you. From what you said her sounds very guarded. Putting a cage I him should open him up to you.


Good luck, have fun, be safe,

Cheers

 

heloo @YessX welcome to here Mistress, curtsy. and i hopes that its ok for you here.

 

Welcome and enjoy.

I think you may have the perfect solution. Holding the keys to your ex could be just the right thing for both of you. Both of you will know and accept that you can get what you want in that department elsewhere.and he can't.

( I am KH to my ex on just that basis. Though the emotion isn't the same as yours.)

I'd say go full steam ahead, and with the most secure device he can wear 24/7/365 you can get. You will each find your inner selves.

And understand your inner power.

 

Have fun, it is the most deliciously frustrating playtime you can have imo.

 

Only frustrating for the lockee....
KH won't be frustrated at all

 

"Better to have loved and lost, than to not have loved at all."

If you have that magic spark and you're communicating, then ignore the doom sayers, decide between yourselves however you want to share your life and go for it. If it doesn't work out, it still might not be either the wrong person or wrong time, just the wrong fetish.

 

Be aware that it often takes many devices until you find one at fits well enough for long term use.
Chastity takes time to master in many respects.

 

Indeed it does I have bought 4 and still not happy. I am now saving and taking measurements for a custom MM jailbird. IMO you should buy cheap chineesium devices first to find out which style works for you and also to see if this lifestyle is also right for you without dropping 400+$.

Also i suggest you try and abstain for a week prior to the first lock up this will test your will power and your resolve. It will also make your first unlock that much better.

Cheers

 

find the correct piece of the puzzle you may be in for the ride of your life!

 

I don't know you well enough to give you proper advice, but your enthusiasm is an awesome starting point. It makes experimenting light hearted and mistakes are easily covered with the blanket of love. About cages: I wish we had started with a custom metal one as it would have prevented a lot of medical problems as an edema and consequently interruptions of this play. Feel free to ask me or my wife anything you want - if you check our post history you'll come across some pitfalls on our journey, perhaps there is some valuable information to be found as we're not exactly experienced either.