The Wife Files.

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by LadyS, Oct 15, 2016.

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  1. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    oooh, i don't forget .
     
  2. L-u-c-y
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    Staff Member Owner of Chastity Mansion Administrator Verified Female

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    Have you considered spanking him and posting a video if it online? It might be a good reminder for him not to forget again :)
     
  3. RexVa
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    RexVa Long term member

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    Wise words from @ChasteHubby2015
     
  4. Steve-0
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    Steve-0 Long term member

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    You don't know me! *finger wag*
     
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  5. LadyS
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    LadyS Lover of LOVE

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    It has been nearly a year since my boy admitted his maturbation problem to me.
    Life since has been SO much better now that I have things under control.
    Monitoring my boys orgasms is one of the best things to happen to out relationship.
    It opend so many doors. We always talked a lot about our life together but now we share even more.
    The one thing that pleases me the most is the disappearance of his jealousy.
    You have no idea how much of a burden it is untill it's gone.
    Chastity and orgasm control can do amazing things if you let it and work it properly.
     
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  6. guest 2942
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    guest 2942 Long term member

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    jealousy? Jealous of what may I ask?
     
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  7. LadyS
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    LadyS Lover of LOVE

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    Him jelous of people I am/ was friends with.
     
  8. guest 2942
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    guest 2942 Long term member

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    are these male friends? lol
     
  9. RexVa
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    RexVa Long term member

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    Absolutely! In order to achieve it to the fullest potential, chastity should be real --which may require a highly secure device-- for orgasm control to be effective. The effects of it on the mind of the sub is absolutely necessary for this power exchange to work "properly", as @LadyS suggests.
     
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  10. mcfeely
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    mcfeely Long term member

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    Chastity is still non starter. We can't come to an agreement on " power exchange". Everytime she brings it up, I have to go for a run or hit the heavy bag cause it ticks me off. Told her I would be ok playing with chastity but it needed to result in an improved sex life. She wants a sex life on her terms only. Major impase.
     
  11. Musher
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    Musher My wife`s sex toy

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    Well isen't that What chastity is about. Her sex Life on her terms. Ouer sex Life is to pleas her in the sexual way, she want at the moment!
     
  12. LadyS
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    LadyS Lover of LOVE

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    So what you want the sex life on your terms?
    This is very unclear as to what you are saying?
    She want to be dominant and you don't want it?
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    My boy is leaving me for a week tomorrow.
    He hasn't left me in years.
     
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  13. LadyS
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    LadyS Lover of LOVE

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    Some have been.
     
  14. mcfeely
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    mcfeely Long term member

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    No I don't believe Chastity is all about her. In reviewing posts there seem to be those that have created a "lifestyle" around it and to some degree FLR. Others use it as a sex toy to enhance their relationship. In my eyes, our sex life not been satisfying in both frequency and variety. My wifes past behavior indicates that she would use chastity to go further down this road. I could accept some bedroom dominance if it is going to spice things up but will not go down this road if its going to be a continuation or if she wants to use this as a way to take sex off the table completly. While I haven't said this to her, if that is her plan ( which in all fairness she has not come out and stated), I would rather accept the contract to go back to the sand box.
     
  15. LadyS
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    LadyS Lover of LOVE

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    Well you know chistity is not for every one or every couple.
    If you can't make agreements than you probly shouldn't use. I can't see it helping a relationship or making a sex life better if both partners arnt on the same page.
    And if the sex life wasn't good to start with one shouldn't rely on chastity making it better.
     
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  16. RexVa
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    RexVa Long term member

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    Mmmm... so, it sounds like you want more sex ("frequency", "variety") --but, you joined a chastity site...
    Curious, because actual chastity doesn't really seem to interest you..
    However, even if you were interested, you would not be willing to make your chastity all about her...
    Because, she would go "down the road" of actually keeping you chaste??

    Forgive us if we're a bit confused. Put simply, you may be wondering if your wife will honor a potential chastity commitment from you --which is totally unclear whether you would even entertain--, with intimacy and more regular sexual attention (knowing that, in chastity of course it may very often exclude PIV intercourse, but may open up other exciting possibilities)?

    For what it's worth, I can certainly tell you that true male chastity as an expression of love, adoration (and, even better, submission) to his wife, can make her feel extremely close, very sexual, and profoundly attracted to her man. The eroticism, increased intimacy and sexual attention she could provide you then, if she were in control with you in strict chastity, could be mind-blowing for you in many ways, some perhaps unimaginable for you now. Maybe you might want to consider that, and give her and real chastity a chance.
     
  17. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B

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    Jealousy can be the ruination of most relationships. If chastity has helped to prevent it, then it has been very successful .
     
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  18. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    This my exact experience. The change in my Wife since she truly took control is nothing short of breathtaking and it all boils down to one, simple thing. The complete removal of any pressure on her to perform sexually for me.

    I still don't really understand it but, because she knows she is free to have sexual activities when she feels like it, somehow she feels far more in the mood to be sexual than she had done for years. Equal in importance to this is the fact that she also knows reciprocal sex is also not necessary. Just because she has an orgasm it doesn't mean that i get to have one. I get to have the fun of giving her an orgasm. There is nothing quite like the feeling I have after a month or so of denial when I get to give Elle a Yoni massage, or orally pleasure her. I can sometimes feel very close to how I feel having an orgasm it is so intense.

    It has taken me a long time to truly let go and at times I still struggle but the payback I get is worth every minute of denial that I endure. The shame is both @mcfeely and his wife have to discover this for themselves and it won't work if he doesn't give it a go and she doesn't also have fun with it. If she uses it just as a way to reduce sexual intimacy between them then she will not get the benefit of his enjoyment, and he will not get the enjoyment of giving her pleasure.
     
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  19. mcfeely
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    mcfeely Long term member

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    rexva I understand your confusion. As most know these little comments are snips of life. The fact of the matter is that I don't have any interest in the denial lifestyle but was directed/guided to this site and participate to a limited degree at the behest of the wife. I promised her that I would investigate this form of play and if it fits both our needs, could experiment. The real issue is that it seems like a one way street. Most of the guys find reasons why this has improved their life and if it is true in their minds and they are happy I think that is wonderful. I don't see how this would make my life better if all her needs are getting met and none of mine are being addressed. I am not judging the lifestyle and trying to be open minded and fair to my wife as this is something she is interested in exploring, she just needs to give me a compeling reason why this would be good for both of us and that hasn't happened. I do enjoy the site and the insite it give me on other couples relationships.
     
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  20. LadyS
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    LadyS Lover of LOVE

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    A chastity arrangement really doesn't have to be all about her.
    Although much of mine and my husbands relationship is a FLR, I am still very caring about his wants and needs. All of them.
    He is not my slave, he is my lover and my partner.
    And fyi
    The ENTIRE CONCEPT of chastity is denial!
     
  21. RexVa
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    RexVa Long term member

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    @mcfeely ...that's what's may be in it for you if she fulfills her end of the bargain in a chastity arrangement. I personally enjoy making an effort to regularly raise the intensity of those sexual feelings in my chaste male, and make chastity an irresistible, continuous turn-on for him.
     
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  22. Joroincharge
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    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!

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    That's exactly the way to do it: her needs fully met and his frustrated totally..

    Irresistable and continuous.

    And just as much a turn-on for her. :):):) If done properly ;););) and she has secured him by the balls every which way, while it may not be enforceable in theory it can be pretty much that in reality as he can have too much to lose by trying to wriggle out.
     
    slave_m likes this.
  23. ColoBilly
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    ColoBilly Active member

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    [QUOTE="By this time I had already decide that I indeed was going to give him a couple of spankingsand make him pleasure me orally befor bed. Last time I said this I backed out for my own fear of losing my thing, but I knew it's what I wanted.
    I made him bend over the bed and told him exsactally why his was getting punished and gave home 5 amazing smacks. I was so wet befor I even got to #5. I don't even know how to explain the feeling. There were pins and needles running through my body.
    He did pleasure me . I covered his eyes with my panties he just made me mess up and he made me cum.
    All I could do was giggle.
    I love this man so much that I'm not even going to let him cum!
    QUOTE]

    I am so glad your got to enjoy spanking your man. I did not know it was possible until the first time my wife spanked me but she has squirting orgasms when she spanks me.
     
  24. ColoBilly
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    ColoBilly Active member

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    Well my wife loves to tell her real life friends all about our kinks.
     
  25. ColoBilly
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    ColoBilly Active member

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    Thanks for sharing that. I really did just laugh out loud.
     
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