is it important that a Dom and a sub have a mutual respect for each other to make the arrangement work
Without question: respect between partners is conditio sine qua none! But not only for dom/sub relations: it is mandatory for every relation to stand time. Dear @Mash2214 : I certainly hope that the reason for your question is not the fact that you lack this mutual respect with your better half..
It's absolutely necessary to have respect but the most important aspect is TRUST. If a sub can't trust his domme to take care of him, protect him, and honor the trust he gives her, any semblance of a loving relationship is over.
O God NO we have tremendous respect and Love for each other. We've been together for 37 Years. It's just that I've been getting the feeling that a lot of arrangements don't have much respect. So I just tossed it out there
Mash I would say that along with trust respect is not only important but essential for the foundation of any relationship not just dom and sub , and needs to be shown equally by both people in the relationship , I also think that in todays modern world respect along with other core values is sometimes sadly lost or forgotten
It is certainly important the sub respect the Dom. And the Dom if worth any salt will ensure this happens. The other way round it can be and often is important but not always. It depends on the basis of the relationship.
I understand what your saying the sub needs to definitely respect the Dom. I also believe it's just as important that the Dom respects the sub if the respect is weak I believe your looking for trouble like the Dom doing things that are against the subs will and that would be wrong. It's a fine line, a lot of men just hand the keys to their wives or girlfriends and expect them to know what and how to take control. Being the KH/Dom is more difficult than being the sub. So for the Dom to have respect for the sub in my Opinion would make it better, but that being said it could be more of a business relationship where the sub is paying the Dom where Repect may not even exist
I agree respect is earned and goes both ways. A lack of respect for a sub is abuse. In fact a good dominant should respect and cherish their sub, just like a good sub adores and is loyal to their dominant. Now respect doesn't mean give them all they want, but rather to look out for their well being, care for them and love them. In fact like a good parent a good dominant knows when to say no, when to punish and when to set rules the sub may not like.
I'm going to go against the majority view here. Assuming the reference isn't a situation where other things are not equal...such as a Dom not respecting her slave AND she is interested in pushing beyond his hard stop boundaries...I see no reason they must respect each other greater than any two people. There is no relationship situation that requires respect that is not earned EXCEPT for an implied assumption that we are not talking about sadistic people with a desire to do harm. If I am wrong then we need to explain why a paid relationship can be satisfying for both. The only respect given is that which we would like to assume strangers should give each other.
For me personally I believe that Trust and Respect should go hand in hand. If either is lost or broken ... it can be hard to rebuild and thus the downward spiral begins.
Thanks for your comment. I like your view on the paid relationship, it can be satisfying to both parties. Wouldn't you think that the respect between them would be based more on ,I Have to respect him because he's paying me which sorta makes him my boss. This would be different than when your married to each other don't you think. I've never been in a paid relationship so how they work on the long term, like a few years, would be interesting. Thanks for Your View Point
Yea I guess I agree. Still however, paid, stranger etc...those are levels of respect given as decent people of society give. They are cultural norms. In the original post as well as in several of the replies I interpret the question to be the issue of respect for that person as an individual and that that was greater than or different from the "base" level of respect I'm referring to that would apply in a general sense.