Results of Post-Punishment Day.

Well for obvious reasons I do not want to divulge too much but there are no lefty and of non physical things that would be punishment

 

Sorry but you are where you want to be. She can't hold you down with a rope a chain or even a chastity devise. The only thing that keeps you there is your Love for her and a submivive mind.

 

No I get 100% what you are saying. I felt that "Vibe" from you totally, and different "strokes" for different "folks".

At least she knows it is truly "horrible" for you, and that is reassuring. You also answered the other question, you would trade masturbation for punishment in a heart beat. That is very important for her to know. As for the @Vinny comment, I wasn't referring to any discussions being had between you two. I meant it as a view of a person that has experienced a variety of things from being the boss to being led.

Most people are either alphas or betas (period). There are very few "switches" in life; however, I am one of those and Vinny also has seen both sides of the house. You can never truly be an alpha/master as a guy until you have had to submit, there is a head space you don't see and will never get if you stay in one camp.

Women on the other hand by default "get" the beta aspects of life given how shitty it can be for them. Getting them to surge and feel the strength of their feminity and alpha tendencies need to be nurtured and grown. It is as natural to them as having a deep bond for a child as man can have.

My advice to you is that you are extremely lucky to have such an open minded woman willing to explore. You should embrace it and even take the time to deal "with the shit that sucks" for a short period of time. You may learn a lot about it, and for the two of you to talk about if you need to dance between alpha and beta or master/sub, that could be fun too .... January she is the boss, while in Feburary you are ... nothing is set in stone in life ....

 

Just out of curiosity, how did you overcome his initial resistance to chastity? To take a guy who didn't want chastity and eventually getting him pierced and securely locked with minimal orgasms is an amazing accomplishment!

 

Looking back, one of the keys things that kept me willing to progress was the basic tenant that she keep life with the cage fun and exciting enough to outweigh the wearing of the cage itself and the other aspects that come with the cage that I wasn't really into.

And in fairness and transparency, while that did mean fewer orgasms than I was used to, until much more recently it certainly wouldn't have qualified as a "minimum" of orgasms. I continued to be allowed to orgasm likely more often than many unlocked men until the last several months. As it's evolved from a never-ending game to a lifestyle, that began to change of course.

Getting pierced was one of several turning points. She knows I'll do anything for her, and she made sure to tell me that even without chastity she'd enjoy me pierced. Of course she knew she'd have a cage through that piercing the instant it was able. And so that's how she got me over that hump. Smart girl.

She continues to make sure I'm stimulated enough that the cage remains "worth it" to me, but she has over time been able to modify what I need for it to be "worth it" to fall inline with what she enjoys and expects.

Now it's just what it is. I am still struck by doubts from time to time, as her recent threads show, but at the end of the day I'm still under her key, and every time we go through one of those mini crisis, she comes out the other end with even more control and with me somehow happier about it. I marvel at it often, and struggle to explain it myself.

 

Possibly? Possibly? You're going to have to tell us now. Please?

 

Seriously! What a tease that was! Not cool!

If she doesn't find some time to write it up today and there's any real interest, I'll try to sneak in a long trip to the bathroom at work and tell my version. My version will likely be less embarrassing for me anyway.

I will say, it all started in the middle of the week with this text message from Her:

- This weekend, after your punishment, for a reward. If you can take all your smacks without me having to stop, I'll release you right after and let you have a normal cum. If not, VG it is. So you better be on your best behavior the rest of the week. So, again - best behavior. Because if you can't get through them without me stopping, not only are you robbing yourself of a full on cum, you're robbing me as well of it since I like when you cum in me. Keep that in mind my little slut. -

VG is the name of her strapon... And no. I didn't make it through the punishment without having to stop.

Thankfully this past weekend coincided with my release date so by the end she took me out so we could have PiV. But I paid for it.

This coming weekend doesn't coincide with my release date. So I'll be trying not to have much punishment coming at all since I doubt I'll be let out regardless.

 

Great weekend, are y

Are you learning to except the spankings she gives you or are you still defiant against her strap. I know it's hard but it's good if you can get to the point where you except it willingly if your not already there. I've been spanked for many years.

 

I think I accept them. Any defiance I have comes mostly in the form of trying to pout my way out, or "make a deal" to reduce / skip punishments. But I've never refused. I do feel bad that she has to restrain me, but as of now I just don't have the self control to see it through to completion. Even when I really, REALLY don't want to, I've been trying to accept that this is one of only a very few aspects of this lifestyle that I dislike, and that it's worth it to endure. And there's no denying that afterwards I am pretty effected by the punishments.

This past weekend, after not being able to make it though, and not having cum in a week or so, I was VERY disappointed with myself. I felt bad I couldn't take them all at once and that because of that she wouldn't get the PIV she wanted. I did my best not to, but eventually after enough teasing I did indeed ask for the prostate orgasm that she said would be all I was allowed if I couldn't make it through the paddling.

However, after an INSANE marathon of strap-on play, I just couldn't get there. I was sure she would take mercy on my and let me out to have sex. But she didn't. I went to bed very submissive, and very "in my place". Thankfully @Thatgirl did take mercy on me the next day and we had PIV. Having to make it through to this coming weekend before I could try again would have been crazy difficult.

She's assured me that she won't continue to take such mercy on me though, as things progress. So I will need to get better at taking the paddling and at dealing with 2+ week lock ups / orgasm free periods. For now I'm just doing my best (most of the time).

 

If being spanked isn't really your thing has @Thatgirl looked at other forms of discipline. Some are very effective.

 

I agree with you totally about him not liking it and it being effective. Other forms of discipline can seem easy at first but are sever when you get into them. For example. I was disciplined by righting lines 347 while sitting with a long but plug in. A spanking would have been much easier and quicker. The lines were very effective. Also keep him guessing what you might do to punish him. You can't prepare for it than. I apologize if I offended you Mistress but sometimes variety is the spice of life.

 

If she is anything like @Mistress Amanté it's the spankings that are a turn on for her. I would never have guessed it, don't even think she knew about it herself, but when she spanked me, it was a huge turn on, and gave her a serious sense of empowerment.

 

Perfect answer ... it is not funishment we are talking about ... it is punishment.

So during and post session how did you feel as a woman, partner, lover, friend? If you don't want to share that is "a-ok" also. Your both did fantastic and should be very proud!

 

Interesting postings. It confirms my reluctance to allow wife to engage in this life style. Just not for me. I noted that,when that girl and husband started, it was fun and games with sex life enhancement and it now appears to be transitioning into something more. Kind of insidious.

 

It can be insidious, sure. But insidious in the same way that golf can go from a hobby to an obsession. In the beginning you might take the foot-wedge out a whole bunch, or give yourself 10ft gimmes. But if you end up liking the game for real, the way you play it tends to change.

I've leaned a LOT, particularly in the last couple months. What may sound insidious is actually me genuinely giving up control, and more importantly her genuinely taking it. And to me yes it can be scary (maybe intimidating is better word) but I've realized how much more comfortable I am when I feel owned and embarrassed and controlled. In the context of our safe and loving relationship of course. That is impossible to understand until you feel it. I didn't think I'd ever feel that way and so didn't expect things to go this direction. But I do, and she loves it, so we continue down the path. I've learned there's some stuff in me (and the same with Her) that I didn't know was there, and that I can explore those things at a more intense level without sacrificing who I am.

For instance. Being routinely plugged/collared/caged may SEEM harsh, but without that particular combo, and without the spankings that I hate, I never would have felt that intense submissiveness that I've never truly felt.

Point is her apparent increase in harshness is actually just showing me how much she cares. I didn't get that before, so I can see how it would be hard to really understand without experiencing it.

Bottom line though, if things go too far, or too fast, I feel totally comfortable asking to put on the brakes a little. And MOST importantly I now feel comfortable that she can tell when me asking to slow down really means slow down, or is just me pushing back because my macho is feeling threatened and she needs to push even harder to get me past it.

One thing I know is that it's not fair to expect constant "fun stuff" only. This is hard work for KHs, and if like mine they like actually want PIV then it can also be a sexual sacrifice.

But just because we've decided to let things grow in this direction doesn't mean you would have to. And it certainly doesn't make it insidious. You just have to accept that if this is a two person lifestyle then accommodations have to be made for the other person as they learn and grow in their role. I pushed back a long time. Only now am I beginning to enjoy the feeling of truly relenting to her control. And this only now am I reaping the benefits of her letting loose her her own desires on me. Painful spanking are small prices to pay. At least outside those moments of actual spanking!

 

U mentioned something that struck a chord with us. Her increased punishment level does show me how much she cares.

She could just as easily say "do whatever you want I do not care," allowing me to keep doing whatever it is that she would like changed. I would keep doing those things until resentment and annoyance built enough to alter our relationship. She cares enough about me, and us, to remove it, and if not...at least even the score so she doesn't feel like the only one giving or not being listened to.

And...it gets her hot. So I'm game.

 

You are right. I probably don't belong here. As weird as it sounds, I find myself getting worried about you guys as you explore the rabbit hole. I don't want to see your relationship go downhill or take a negative turn. I'm not here to judge but was asked by wife to learn/explore as she seems interested in chastity and directed me to this site. Big difference is she isn't as sexually dynamic as you and I can see that this would be a nice way to control sex under the guise of "play". Knowing my personality if I felt the denial /play was getting out of hand (as defined by me) things could escalate and we could end up going down down down the hole.

 

Isn't there a cage in between?

 

@Thatgirl and @Thatguyontheinternet, I really appreciate how you both seek intimacy through your lifestyle. That is one of the things we have surprising found in our own journey with chastity, it forces us to communicate. Secondly, you both provide some great examples of trust. There are a few takeaways for me that @FEMabAC and I can learn from, thanks for sharing the details and context.