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A Fresh start into a Female led Marriage

Discussion in 'The Vault' started by Smaug, Mar 30, 2010.

  1. Smaug
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    Smaug Member

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    Hi I am Smaug, I promise to put up an avatar real soon, I have a picture of me in my belt which I'll use. I did a little introduction in the appropriate thread if you want to find it there. I discovered the wonderful world of Dominance and submission and male chastity about eight years ago. My wonderful wife and I have taken advantage of it's uses many times since then with great results. Dominance is not something that comes naturally to my wife and actually quite a struggle for her. She would be content to let me run things and make all the decisions in our marriage, which is how things usually go. When we first started to switch roles eight years ago it was challenging to say the least, I was topping from the bottom, trying to help her learn how to be the domme. That doesn't work, not at all. So i decided to just quietly be submissive to her, I discovered there needs to be someone in charge, and if I wasn't then no one was. We dropped the whole thing and went back to "normal", whatever that means. Over the years we have discussed things and gone in and out of the wife led relationship. My Queen has learned a lot and is becoming more self assured. A few months ago after a doctor appt. of mine I requested we try again. I had gained weight and things were starting to take a their toll on my body. I proposed that she take charge of our marriage, when she is willing to make the decisions she has always made better ones than i have. After some discussions of what this meant she agreed to take charge again. She has set regular discipline times for the week where we can discuss progress, lack of progress and any changes I need to make. She uses her paddle on my bottom to help me be motivated and keep focused. I do not look forward to this as it really does hurt, a lot. I am to remain in a chastity device at all times unless she specifies otherwise. She puts a date in her calender at which time I will be allowed an orgasm by the means of her choosing. I don't get to know the date so i never know when she will say, "go ahead and cum boy". Right now today is day 16 since my last orgasm. My personal record is 45 days, that was hard, but what an orgasm. I love my Queen so much, I want only to please her. Last Sunday we made love but my Majesty told me before we started that I would not be allowed to cum. I would have thought I wouldn't last long but we are finding out that I can. We were both very surprised at how long and how intense I could be without cumming. I never knew I could have that kind of control, Majesty loved it, as did I. For a change she got to be satisfied and I was left a little frustrated, talk about role reversal, LOL. We started all this to change some of my bad habits but I sure would love to see this become permanent. As time goes on I hope my Majesty will decide she likes the advantages for her and decides to make this permanent. I will take any feedback or suggestions anyone might have.
  2. Smaug
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    Well I am on day eighteen without an orgasm, I sure am horny. Majesty played with my penis yesterday morning, got me close to cumming and stopped, sweet frustration. After my morning shower she used her paddle for a discipline session before our work day. I think of her all day, I just want the work day to end so I can be with her. I love to kneel before her and kiss her toes, I know she enjoys that too. I wonder if Majesty will try to beat the 45 day time period without cumming. One part of me hopes so and the other part, not so much, LOL.
  3. Arrested
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    It sounds like you are all well on your way.

    Chastity will be a learning experience for the both of you. You will both learn things about yourselves that you would have never known, otherwise.
  4. cbtok
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    cbtok Senior Member

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    This looks like a wonderful Female-Lead Relationship. One thing you mentioned in your original post has to do with weight. Has She placed you on a weight loss regimen? Are punishment sessions appropriate for weight loss?
  5. Smaug
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    Yes I have lost almost 20 pounds in 2 months, and yes corporal discipline twice a week plus any other time she might deem it necessary. Majesty told me to remove my belt this morning and come back to bed. We started making love and she told me I could cum, time to reset the clock. Orgasms are so intense when its been a few weeks, LOL
  6. cbtok
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    cbtok Senior Member

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    And just think, you have the Source of that intense pleasure living with you.

    Be a really good boy, now and She'll certainly reward that by letting you serve Her more perfectly.
  7. Smaug
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    Another wonderful day

    Here I am sitting at work on my computer thinking of my Majesty. I have a sore bottom, still stinging from the cane Majesty uses sometimes for morning discipline. She was a little extra aggressive this morning with the cane, which is good as it reminds me all day who is boss and how much she cares for me, enough to give that special reminder that will last through the day. We talked a little this morning about female led relationship dynamics and I am encouraged that this time it wont fizzle out like it has in the past. We have learned a few things and are taking precautions against that. Majesty is very encouraged about my weight loss and increased motivation to keeping the house clean and doing daily chores and special tasks. I so want to bless her, I was thinking of buying some special gift to show my appreciation to her for being my Queen. I don't have a lot of money to spend and am racking my brain trying to think of something. I thought of jewelry, and that is a good idea but am hoping for any suggestions anyone might make. As I was cuddling with her this morning I was hoping she would tell me to take off my belt and come make love to her, but that didn't happen. Even though she allowed me to have an orgasm last Friday, for some reason I am still extremely horny and was right away after I came. It's kind of strange as I usually have that after cumming let down, with the less desire to submit feeling but not this time, hmmm.
  8. cbtok
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    cbtok Senior Member

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    Jewelry has always been the way i have tried to make a Woman feel special. And i have tended to put money by every month while in a relationship to do that.

    Husband your cash. There is always something special you can get for Her.

    Another thing to save for is a nice vacation, whether it's attending "Kink in the Caribbean" or just the two of you going to a B&B for a few days, it's worth saving for.

    And don't forget flowers. Bring some home to Her "whenever" -- for no reason. Just because.

    One thing i do know is that Women like a "man with a plan," so plan these things. And surprise Her often.
  9. Smaug
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    Smaug Member

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    Wow, what an awesome Sunday

    Sunday was such an awesome day, it started and ended great. When we got up my Queen informed me I would not be wearing a chastity device today, nice. I gave Majesty a hair cut, I use electric clippers to clean her pubic mound off and she shaves the rest. She had me take my chastity belt off and we sat in the hot tub for a while. Then we showered and got ready for church. We had a nice conversation on the way to church and Majesty told me she was proud of me for how much weight I have lost and how I gave up drinking too. I thanked her and told her I live to please her. Church was great and after church my parents took us out to lunch. I had a sourdough burger but could only eat half, lol. Majesty told me on our way home that after my chores we would have some play time and I needed to ready myself for some strap-on play. I use butt plugs, glycerine suppositories, and enema's to get myself clean. I did that while doing my Sunday chores. Majesty relaxed on the couch while I did my chores. When I finally finished my chores I checked in with Majesty, she told me to bring her the little paddle and the cane, so I did. She told me to lie down on the ottoman and proceeded to give me a good paddling with the little paddle, hair brush size. When she was satisfied that my bottom and upper thighs were nice and red she started in with the cane. She was a lot more severe with the cane than usual and left some real good welts on my backside. After thanking her properly by kneeling before her and kissing her toes we moved into the bedroom where she had me massage her feet and legs. When she was satisfied with that she took me to the closet and dressed me up in a skirt and nice top. She had me put on my stainless steel locking collar and cuffs. She took me back to the bed and had me lie back with my bottom right up to the edge. She attached a spreader bar to my leg cuffs and told me to hold the bar and pull my legs back so my butt hole was right in front of her. She put on her strap-on, it has a nice large 8 inch penis attached. She lubed me up and went to town, she fucked me good for at least a half hour, I didn't know if I could take anymore. The body orgasms are so intense, no ejaculation but it is definitely an orgasm. She asked if I had enough so I thanked her and said yes. When she was done and had removed her strap-on and my spreader bar, she told me she wanted me to fuck her good and long but I was not allowed to cum. I started by licking her, using my tongue and fingers to get her ready. She was squirming and moaning, but then she said, "I need your hard cock inside me NOW". I put some Ambisol on the head of my cock and then put an extended pleasure rubber on. I put my now very hard cock inside her and started nice and slow. I moved in and out at a medium to slow pace as she moaned and told me what a nice rod she was riding. It felt real good but I was pretty numb so even though I was very horny I knew I could do whatever I wanted and I wouldn't cum. We changed positions so she was on her side and I entered her from behind. This time I went faster and deeper. she was moaning with pleasure and telling me good it felt to be fucked with a nice hard, hot cock that she could ride as long as she wanted. Next she lay on her belly and had me really give to her hard and fast this time, good thing I was numb, if the previous hadn't made me cum this would have, the numbing agents work great. When Majesty was satisfied she had me get off of her and took me to the closet. She locked my wrist cuffs to an eye bolt I put in the closet above my head. She turned off the light and closed the door and left me there. She came back in about a half hour and released me, I was thankful as my arms were getting sore. She told me to get cleaned up and come to bed. When I took off the rubber and wiped off my cock it was completely numb, what a weird feeling that is. We cuddled as I told her how thankful I was to have such a thoughtful Queen. I was not required to put on my chastity belt and we had a great nights sleep. This morning as we cuddled she started stroking my cock and then she told me I could have a few minutes of pleasure inside her if I wanted. I entered her and went very slow as I sure didn't want to blow it by cumming. After a few minutes as she could tell I was close she said, "OK boy, you've had enough". The rest of the morning was mostly normal, back into my chastity tube after my shower and got ready for work. Who knows when I will be allowed to cum next as she is about to start her period, boy I am soooo horny, but no matter, I am more than satisfied with serving and pleasing my Majesty.
  10. Smaug
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    14 days

    Well it's been two weeks now, since I was horny immediately after my last orgasm I am sure horny now. Since Majesty is having her time of the month, I figure I wont be receiving any pleasure this weekend. That's ok though, I will be happy just serving my Queen this weekend. I think I will give her a nice full body massage on Sunday, she will enjoy that.
  11. Smaug
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    I am feeling a little frustrated today. Majesty gave me an Orgasm a week ago yesterday, and it was really good too, but there has been nothing since. I would prefer to not have orgasms but still want sex. Majesty doesn't really care that much about sex, when things are vanilla I can usually have sex anytime I ask for it, but she never initiates it. She doesn't masturbate and has not brought herself to orgasm for so long she can't remember when the last time was. She talked to her OB/Gyn about it a few years ago and her answer was that she just needed to practice. Needless to say she doesn't, I have tried everything, romance, nice dinners, dates, gifts. I tell her she is beautiful, she knows I mean it too, I have tried to talk to her about it but she just isn't very interested. She isn't 50 years old yet, she should still be interested in sex. The frustration increases because I am now being submissive, I am not forbidden to ask for sex, I am only not allowed to cum unless told to do so, but I don't want to be the one asking for sex. I also know I am not alone when I say I feel my wife is "playing along" with D/s to humor me. She loves me and knows it's important to me, but has taken no initiative with out my suggesting. I don't want to top her but as someone else said on this site, how else will she learn how or what to do? If I just shut up and never asked for sex, we would never have it again. I am trying to figure out a way to talk about this again. We are both in good health and are not overweight or anything so I don't understand.
  12. Smaug
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    Wow sorry, I feel like such a whiner sometimes. My last post was about complaining and I shouldn't. My Majesty takes very good care of me and I am really thankful for that.
  13. Smaug
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    22 days

    Wow it's been 22 days now since my last Orgasm. Majesty Had me put on a numbing rubber yesterday(A rubber with benzocaine in it, I add orajel to the head of my penis also), with that I am hard as a rock and can go as long as majesty desires without cumming. She used me for about twenty minutes, took a little break and then again for ten or so minutes. Wow it feels kinda good but mostly I don't feel much, just totally numb. I'm not sure why my cock stays hard but it is hard as rock. When Majesty was satisfied she gave me a nice long paddling session for being a good boy and satisfying her. I felt good knowing she was pleased. I think she is going to take me past my previous record of 45 days without an orgasm to 50 days. She had me remind her of how many days I went before without an O, that's what makes me think that. 45 days was difficult, I'm half way there but I am sure horny. Majesty let me make love to her again this morning but I couldn't stay inside her very long, maybe one or two minutes, as I didn't have permission to cum and would have if I tried to go any longer. This is such sweet agony, I love Majesty so much and appreciate that she takes such good care of me. We are going shopping tonight and she told me I could buy a new dress, maybe if I am lucky she will help me pick out some shoes to go with whatever dress I find.
  14. Smaug
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    A New Blue Dress

    We went shopping the other night and Majesty picked out a nice blue dress, she handed it to me and told me to go try it on. I found an employee to let me into the dressing room and tried it on. I loved it an it fit perfectly so she bought it for me. Last night Majesty painted my toe nails red and they look nice with my blue dress. The only problem is my hairy legs, i let the hair grow for summer so I can wear shorts, but am reconsidering. I am thinking of epilating again, and wearing shorts when I want to anyway. I guess I should talk to Majesty first and see if that would embarrass her. I don't care about being embarrassed as long as she is not.
    Majesty is having a bit of a tough time this last week, good thing for chastity right now too. She is a week late for her period, she say's she is never late. She has been early but never late. I am sterile and not cuckolded so she is not pregnant. She is 48 years old so other reasons may be to blame. I sure don't want her to have to deal with menopause, but that is gonna come eventually anyway. She says she feels most of the symptoms she feels with her period but she just is not bleeding. She was really bitchy this weekend and apologized this morning for it, after giving me a MUCH harder than normal spanking LOL, my butt still hurts!
    I am on day 29, maybe I can make it to 60 days, who knows? I'll tell you who knows, Majesty knows, and she is the only one cause she is not telling me. I am very, very, very happy about that, Majesty is remaining consistent this time and there is not very much need to make any suggestions, which is good cause as I told Majesty, I don't want to top from the bottom or even do anything close to that. We have tried chastity and D/s many times before, but things always fizzled out after a while, my fault, but not this time. I will submit and remain in submission no matter what. We are on about 5 months since we started back into a female led relationship and Majesty seems to be very comfortable as the head of household and my Master. I will do whatever it takes to help her , which mostly means I keep my mouth shut and do what she tells me to do, period.
    Would anyone be interested in a picture of me in my blue dress? I will put one up if anyone wants me to.
  15. Smaug
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    Sorry it's been a while

    Sorry it has been a few weeks since I posted last. I am on day 44 since my last Orgasm, tomorrow ties my record of 45 days and I hope Majesty doesn't want to go longer than 50 days this time. I am soooo horny, we made love yesterday morning and even though I used orojel and a benzocaine rubber I still had to be careful not to cum. My cock was completely numb but when I got going to a nice steady pace I could feel an Orgasm getting close so I had to stop. That was a little depressing as I wanted to please Majesty, she said she enjoyed the sex though so it must have been ok. We went to see the new Shrek movie as Majesty really likes them. Majesty bought some OPI nail polish named Funky Dunky, OPI came out with 6 nail polish colors for the Shrek movie and Funky Dunky is a purple color. She painted my nails Sunday night and I wore it to the movies on Monday. No one noticed as far as I could tell but I still enjoyed it. I was going to wear it to work today, it matches the purple shirt I wear for work, but Majesty wouldn't let me.
    Maybe Mistress Watchful or another Administrator could help me, is it possible to move this whole thread to be a Blog? Should I wait till you change servers? let me know please. By the way, I love this site and all the folks here are so very friendly, thanks for letting me hang around.
  16. Smaug
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    Well on Sunday while we were making love, Majesty said, "I want my boy to cum" so I did as I was told. Wow what an awesome orgasm after 49 days, she gave me another on Monday morning so I will start my day timer over. Is there one in this new forum?
  17. Smaug
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    Wow it's been a while since I posted here. I read the forum every day and comment occasionally but sometimes it is hard to think of things to say in this thread. Well I am about a third of the way through a 60 day, no orgasm period. I use my chastity devices when I feel the need, which is right now, but it is at my discretion by Majesties approval. I asked for a long denial period so Majesty came up with 60 days. Life is so different once one has given up masturbating. I know a lot of you know what I mean. I gave it up voluntarily, but whether one does it voluntarily, or is compelled to, the changes that happen both physically and mentally are the same. I am horny all the time, I can't stop thinking about Majesty, she is so beautiful. I want to be with her all the time and touch her, I want to make her feel good. I want to do things for her to make her life easier. I want to wear nice things and make myself look pretty for her, she likes that. We recently went shopping at a few Goodwill stores, I cant believe the awesome bargains we found there. I purchased an ankle length tan suede leather skirt, a very well made one, for $7.00. I found many other beautiful items also, including a pair of Tommy Hilfiger Shoes that were brand new and fit me perfect, 4" heels and they go with so many things I had and bought those days, $5.00. For those of you not in the USA goodwill is a second hand store chain that does a lot for the communities they are in.
    I used to think sex was all about reaching an orgasm, i think that's all backwards now. Sex is about communicating love and affection one to another, it's about giving and receiving pleasure. For a man the orgasm usually ends the sexual encounter, so now I desire to avoid it as long as possible.
  18. Smaug
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    Well I am past half way to 60 days with no ejaculating. I have been milked a few times, and while I enjoy that a lot, it still leaves one quite horny. This morning after I took my belt off and showered, while getting ready for work, Majesty got on her knees in front of me and started giving me a blow job. I hadn't asked for anything and didn't say anything but was pretty surprised. She is really good at it and I think she really likes doing it, but she hasn't since my birthday. Before chastity she gave me lots of blow jobs and while I believe she really likes doing it she never liked ejaculate in her mouth. I guess since I vowed not to ejaculate for 60 days she felt safe doing it without having to finish. She only did it for a minute, which was all I could handle anyway, but it felt awesome. I think most wives, when they are first introduced to chastity, are uncomfortable denying their husbands the orgasm once they have them all hard and excited. I am glad Majesty has gotten over that as she understands how much I enjoy remaining horny and in submission to her. I know it sure has made me a more attentive and caring husband to her, which she deserves.
  19. Smaug
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    I just read the original post I made in this thread in March of this year. Since we started our lifestyle change in February I have lost a total of 45 pounds. When we started I was 195 pounds at 5'8" tall, I have maintained about 150 pounds now for a month or more and plan to stay about there. I feel so much better but have had to replace my wardrobe :D Thank God for Goodwill B)
    I am now on Day 54 of 60 days, come on Oct 1st. :unsure: That is if Majesty releases me from my vow on that day, I hope so and have no reason to think otherwise but one never knows, I'll find out Friday Oct 1st I guess. :eek:
  20. Smaug
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    Well my 60 days were up last Friday morning, the first day of October. My beautiful Majesty started stroking my cock that morning and when she could tell I was close she told me to go ahead and cum. What an intense orgasm, right when I started to cum she stopped stimulating me, which was probably good or it would have been too much for me. She has given me two more orgasms since and they are still very intense.
    I asked Majesty last night if she wanted to take a break from female led relationship for a while. I told her I was cool with either way she decided. I feel like we accomplished what we set out to do and I only want her to lead if that's what she wanted. I actually hinted I kinda wanted a break too. I thought she would go for it but she surprised me, she said "what, you don't need me anymore" kinda jokingly. I assured her that wasn't true, but I wouldn't mind being back in the lead again. She said, "no, let's keep things the way they are." My wife really is not a dominant person so I'm a little surprised. Most people wouldn't recognize any D/s in our relationship as it's pretty vanilla, for the most part she controls when I am allowed to orgasm, I am never allowed to masturbate, and I get a paddling twice a week, usually. The paddling varies in intensity depending on her mood that day. We have been experimenting with chastity and FLR for about 6 or 7 years now I think so she is not without understanding or tools to help her understand what a submissive needs from a dominate in order to submit. Since we started again with FLR last February I have been real careful not to top from the bottom, because of that sometimes I just don't "feel" dominated. I know it's not about me but it is about us. I have purposely been very submissive in all ways toward her even when she was not being the leader and it is causing a little frustration for me. I am tempted to not be so submissive at all times to see what she will do, it isn't the right thing to do but..... I felt sooooo submissive until I came last Friday and now I don't hmmmm.

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