The Gallery and Avatars.

Discussion in 'Site announcements and information' started by Jasmic68, Apr 29, 2016.

  1. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    Lol. I just made a funny typo in the title, writing Avatarts rather than avatars.

    Anyway, a few thoughts about images on this wonderful forum.

    First off, what is going on with avatars at the moment? When I joined I was gently encouraged to have a more neutral avatar that wouldn't scare the ladies away. Now there are quite a few caged up penises popping up which even I find a bit disturbing. I read a blog by a Domme recently who complained that while chastity is supposed to be about the female and nothing about the penis, for most men it is ALL about the penis. I have to say I agree.

    This why I look at the Gallery and at Tumblr chastity posts and think eeeek! Penises everywhere! Locked up, not locked up, close (way too close) skinny ones, fat ones, hairy ones, bald ones wearing knickers. The thing is there is zero creativity pointing a camera at your genitals and after a while zero to be turned on about these images. Tumblr quite frankly is beginning to bore me. All I think is hmmm, another caged penis.

    Don't get me wrong, I was equally as guilty as this when I first started, I have a few in my own gallery. But I do very much prefer the images someone has put some effort into. I am going to miss AndrewK because his gallery was absolutely inspirational (this isn't a criticism about him leaving though.) @jemima has lovely pictures that I would love to emulate and one day plan to, though I am much older and don't have the same wonderful figure to show off. There are other examples.

    We read over and over again of how guys struggle to get their wives and girlfriends involved which is crazy, this lifestyle just has so many benefits. But can you blame the ladies when the first thing they see is something like the gallery? You want me to do what!? NO. I am not a freak! We read over and over again though that the successful FLR and Femdom relationships, even the ones who just use chastity for weekend fun, take their time.

    So come on folks, let's try and do something about the image of this community. Make it a warmer, more welcoming place to look at. (I have received so much warmth, help and advice by the words I have received by the way, I absolutely love this place!) Yes, it is focused on chastity and the control of orgasms, mostly but not exclusively of the male. But does that have to mean penises everywhere?
     
  2. SubVerity
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    SubVerity Still the mansion's fairy godmother. ;)

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    The thing is, there are only penises everywhere if you go looking for them, and it seems there's more of them as we've had a clear up of the captions and the porn, so what we're left with is the home generated content mostly, and guess what that is? ;)
    The rest of the forum is largely penis free thankfully, and so it should be.

    A question: what sort of images do you expect to see in the gallery section of a Chastity forum?
     
  3. KatyTwilight
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    KatyTwilight Be the change you wish to see

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    @Jasmic68 I can not agree more!! It's almost everywhere the same, most networks or forums, many guys have no better ideas that taking a picture of their genitals. And I think that's no coincidence. Most of them are really, literally, focused on their genitals instead others. What about a picture of his hand holding a sex toy that's clearly meant for her? What about a picture of one hand massaging the lady's back... @Caged Wolf 's avatar is also a good example of a creative friendly way of showing the wolf's submission to a Lady.
    I had my doubts about my avatar as well. It's a nice picture of myself that I just chose in the process of making my account. I guess that's the case of most people. They don't think too much about it, they just grab a pic they have on their computer and just go further with the registration process and get started writing.

    I mean... there are thousands of pictures that guys could take showing their submission to their partners instead of their own genitals. Of course a caged cock is a sign of submission, but I absolutely agree, most women are scared by those pictures. I know I won't be able to show this forum or many other sites (fetlife, tumblr, etc) to my wife. If I do it would be a kamikaze action.
     
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  4. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    Hahaha! Oh my, now I think that I'm actively looking for the penises, and wondering what is going on in my head! :p

    What images do I expect to see? I do expect to see a certain amount of locked penises, just with a bit more effort put into the image than pointing a phone at it and thinking that is enough. I'm guilty of doing the same thing by the way, I'm certainly not claiming any superiority here.

    I suppose that if you are going to take a picture of your squashed willy you could at least try to make it look a bit neater and tidier.
     
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  5. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    Your avatar is an excellent example of someone who has tried to do something a bit more creative @KatyTwilight - in fact I am super impressed to find out that is of you, you should definitely post more. Is that a corset you are wearing? I am so jealous! I don't have one yet, but it is definitely on my wish list.

    Not everyone is into feminisation though, and not everyone is lucky enough to have a partner willing to take the pictures of them. I think over the next few weeks I am going to try and take some new images for my own gallery, if I am going to mention the state of the gallery it is the least I can do. I certainly wont be able to match @jemima's pictures, or the ones Andrew had put up before his departure, but chastity is supposed to be about elevating the status of our partner over ourselves (at least it is as far as I have integrated it into my lifestyle.)

    I have to be able to do something a bit more creative than simply pointing a camera at my genitals. Everyone knows what a holy trainer looks like! There is something different about my penis, the modification is why I am in a chastity device in the first place, but I cannot take pictures of that as it would upset my Wife if she ever did join the forum.

    This post was inspired by reading the experiences of @keephimcaged, a confessed kinky woman. She has said more than once that she is glad she did not start off by clicking the gallery link as it would have put her off, and she has rapidly become a valuable member of the forum. We definitely need to encourage more people like her to join, her writing is so helpful on so many levels. She manages to walk the line between the fun and fantasy aspects of male chastity with the reality of doing this. I want my Wife to begin a dialog with her and other confident women like her so much. My Wife is doing this in isolation (and doing a bloody good job of it, let me tell you!) but I cannot help but think it would help her to get talking to other women.

    I just worry that things like the gallery would put her off.
     
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  6. Caged Wolf
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    Caged Wolf A Wolf, even caged, is still a Wolf.

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    @KatyTwilight,
    Thank you for the kind comments about my avatar pic. As soon as i saw that picture i knew it was right and a proper representation of our relationship. There are many good and thought provoking avatar pic's (i don't usually surf the galleries), and also quite a few "junk" pictures...

    It actually did replace my original picture, which me in a pair of v-cut underwear with the lock to my(then) Birdlocked Neo settled right at the low point of the V.
     
  7. Alceste
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    Alceste Chaste Member

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    I think some of you need to get off your high horses.

    I posted a few pictures of mine in my gallery, only so that when someone asks what type of device I have, I can point them at my album.

    It is informational, not for anyone's gratification.
     
  8. thundar
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    thundar Member

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    I'm going with penises on that one. BUT I have always said that your avatar SV is one of the most elegant on the whole site. Really classical look
     
  9. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    That is your opinion and you are most welcome to have it. It's a bit aggressive though, don't you think? All I am trying to say is what is wrong with trying to be a bit creative? The pictures you have included show a very nice cage, lit well and in focus. The framing has been done in such a way as to show off the cage in its very best way. Also your skin is nice and smooth showing the care and attention you have paid to your appearance. Or maybe you are just lucky and are naturally hairless!

    Many penis in a cage pictures are poorly lit, blurred, poorly composed and neither informational or gratifying.

    And I did say I was also guilty of this. I am trying to express that in six short months my attitude towards images of chastity has evolved a bit. The major source of the reason I posted this in the first place was a discussion about how many females find the images off putting. Add that to how many women refuse to get involved in locking up their man thinking he's some kind of freak and there you go, that is where I stable my high horse.
     
  10. KatyTwilight
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    KatyTwilight Be the change you wish to see

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    @Jasmic68 Yes, that's a corset I'm wearing. It's my wife's corset which she almost never uses!!! :-(
    I have lots of pics on my FetLife profile. I have to take the time to update and improve my profile here. I guess I will be hanging out here quite often.

    --------

    All in all I think it's a good idea to make this forum as female friendly as possible. Most wifes/GFs have a difficult time wrapping their heads around chastity. Cock pictures and the like might not help.
    In other networks, such as FL, I almost never accept a friendship from someone who only has cock pictures in his avatar and gallery. This might be the strong girly side of me, but I think if that's all a guy has to show... well... I'm sorry, but as Shania Twain said, "That don't impress me much"
     
  11. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    i wudnt mind having a look but im not allow really to. i do look at the avatars tho.
     
  12. keephimcaged
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    Verified Female

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    I only just saw this thread (thank you @Jasmic68 for your lovely words!) but I'm obviously going to throw in my agreement. I came here originally researching a specific cage I wanted to surprise hubby with, so didn't really explore the site too much. But if I'd come in just browsing then a glimpse at the gallery would have really scared me off - and I'm a kinky little fucker. I'm not sure much could be done about it, maybe gallery is hidden to non-members? But the reality is this is mostly a guy place and that's just how it is.

    We tried a women only chat room here and three people used it in a week, one of whom I was pretty sure was a guy... so yeah. I don't think for most women this forum is ever going to be a good idea until they are well on board with the idea of chastity. My best advice is set up a private shared tumblr blog and just add stuff there you KNOW they will be okay with (do NOT get carried away, and mix in romantic stuff too!). Then if they get on with that okay follow a few 'safe' blogs (mine might count but I'm pretty edgey with the captions I enjoy now so maybe not).
     
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  13. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    @keephimcaged please Mistress, curtsy. the gallery is hid from folks who aint a member already.
     
  14. keephimcaged
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    Gosh, they took my advice fast :p

    Okay didn't know that, but that's a good idea!
     
  15. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    Thanks @keephimcaged - I have done that Tumblr thing. It is going ok but I am struggling to find things that are not penis centric that are at the right level for my Wife at the moment. She was more than ok with it and we are going to carry on with it although not as much as you do. Unfortunately real life is giving us a bit of a kicking at the moment so I am going to suggest we put my chastity exploration on the back burner for a few months.
     
  16. SubVerity
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    SubVerity Still the mansion's fairy godmother. ;)

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    A quick word about the dick avatars - various mods do occasionally have a sweep through and message any new members who are using them, but there's nothing to stop any other members from doing so. Just be friendly and polite about it and suggest reasons why they're not so useful.
     
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  17. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    Thank you @SubVerity that is great news. I would be a bit nervous telling someone off for an unsuitable avatar but if the right situation pops up I will do so. I do try to be polite as much as possible.
     
  18. SubVerity
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    SubVerity Still the mansion's fairy godmother. ;)

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    Oh - no-one gets told off, they generally get welcomed to the Mansion and told that while many (myself included) tend to opt for the obvious dick in cage avatar pic when first here, many then choose something less obvious for the reasons of x,y and zee.

    It's really important to be as welcoming as possible to new members, so we're really careful not to be telling anyone off - unless they're really asking for it - even then I tend to wear kid gloves.
     
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  19. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    Wrong choice of words @SubVerity i didn't mean told off as in using any nasty words. I totally agree, it is super important to be welcoming to everyone. As for kid gloves that is something I'm not good at so I would definitely let someone like you know if that was needed.
     
  20. Captured Pirate
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    Captured Pirate Long term member

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    Hear, hear!
     
  21. Alceste
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    Alceste Chaste Member

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    Yes, you are right. I apologize for coming on so strong. Something just bugged me. I don't even remember it now.

    I do agree that avatars are not the appropriate place for penis shots. And, I appreciate your concern about the image of the community.
     
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  22. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    I have been guilty of doing the same thing. The problem with writing in a forum is it is really difficult to get emotions across affectively.
     
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