So he gets to have her so can I have him?

Discussion in 'Member fiction' started by thekeyholderwife, Sep 8, 2015.

  1. thekeyholderwife
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    thekeyholderwife Active member

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    So I have been letting my hubby indulge in his fantasy to see two women together. Namely Jen and myself. So I asked him last night what he thought about watching me with another guy. His eyes got big which usually means conflict in his eyes between hell yeah and holy shit what is happening. In any case Jen has been seeing a guy and she wants to share but I have to get hubby into it first. I am excited! Seed planted. Can't wait to see where this goes.
     
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  2. tiny_tim
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    tiny_tim Proudly Chaste

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    Just an FYI... There was a post on a vanilla relationship site where one girlfriend shared a guy with the other girlfriend and the guy was so into the other girlfriend that all three broke up and hated each other. I don't know how close you are with your friend Jen, but she should be careful sharing her man with a good girlfriend.

    Of course this has nothing to do with your husband, but I say it's all part of the game as far as he's concerned.
     
  3. tegelad
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    tegelad Class and sophistication in all things

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    Luckiest husband .... "ever" ....
     
  4. tegelad
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    tegelad Class and sophistication in all things

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    I am very lucky/blessed to have a woman I love and who loves me deeply; however, her views on life are extremely one-dimensional, and simple (though in a good way I guess) .... meanwhile, I guess am the 33 flavors mentality, and multi-dimensional .... life is what it is ... so all I can do is enjoy escapades that your lucky husband gets to experience from afar ....
     
  5. BlueEyes
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    BlueEyes The lifestyle pumps in my veins...
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    Well - all I can say is that am in a setup like You @thekeyholderwife :) - Well - dont doing Your part obviously;-) - but My lovely wife has had a submissive girlfriend for the 2-3 years. She actually stays in our place in the weekends.
    In all honesty- if this is played of right, with prudence and respect -there has been no conflicts, - no jealousy, - just excitement, sensations and mind blowing sex:):) I have felt so lucky... and still do!
    Yes, I have had her the girlfriend- or shall we say been ordered to take her and do her, and wise versa, but always under my lovely wife guidance and control. But there is a clear understanding that no other man is to come onto this. My wife will have none of that- an it is not my fantasy either.
    We have been around the subject often, as we tend to talk a lot about the dynamics and makes sure we can be all vanilla together as well. Keep the balance and the tension and do not let your fantasies steal you away entirely- seems to be our motto:) Regarding another man it has never been going anywhere away from: Not interested. Her submissive girlfriend sometimes do my wife with a double strap on, but now since this numbing of me has begun, I tend to be the strap on more often again for her;-) - if you know what I mean...

    What am I saying here: Be careful not to ruin current good dynamics, It is not always easy to reach a state of progressiv balance, where you move forward in harmony- and explore, without being obscured by some level of anxiety, worries, disappointments and jealousy.

    So be careful out there. Your aroused hubby, might agree to anything! You have to be very wise and caring for you all, and so will Jen, the girlfriend...
     
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  6. detainee
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    detainee Member

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    I tend to agree with @BlueEyes' "aroused hubby might agree to anything" comment since he is living vicariously through your experience (in partial capacity) now. I could see his judgement being clouded with arousal and regretting the situation afterward. Maybe you should "clear his head", and then ask! Lol.
     
  7. Jason Webb
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    Jason Webb Member

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    Its a very dangerous situation indeed. He's conflicted because of the arousal and sex. Once you take that away, here's what can and mostly will creep in : jealousy, hate, anger, etc. Guys are usually fine when their girl brings another girl into their dimension. But if its another guy, things get murkier, and there might be a power conflict specially in terms of guys, as I think we're pretty much territorial.

    Seed planted, can grow to be a good fruitful tree, or destruction of your relation.

    The old saying of "Too many cooks ( women/men both) spoil the broth " can apply here.
     
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  8. Metalman
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    Metalman Long term member

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    I am a bit conflicted there.

    I hear people saying to be careful and all. And that's wise of course.
    Any change in dynamic should be well thought through and talked through.

    Now, I find it a bit double standard and sexist that everyone can play with other girls, but if she plays with other boys, then suddenly the relationship is at risk, and everything might fall apart.

    I understand and respect people who are monogamous and don't want to play with other people...
    I understand and respect situations like @BlueEyes where his wife does not want another man...
    I fail to understand One Penis Policies, where it's ok to have girls joining the fun, but the wife can't have sex with another man.

    For me this is old patriarchal social construct (BS), where a woman fucking another man is somehow worse than the other way around.
    Men fucking girls are cool, and girls fucking men are sluts. I wish we were done with that way of thinking already.

    If people choose to be none monogamous, it should be a two way street.
     
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  9. tiny_tim
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    tiny_tim Proudly Chaste

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    My concern was not jealousy between @thekeyholderwife and her husband. Jealousy can certainly can happen, but I believe that can be managed. My concern was jealousy between thekeyholderwife and her friend Jen, if thekeyholderwife sleeps with Jen's boyfriend. I have heard stories where the relationship between the two close female friends can become strained if they share a male lover.
     
  10. GoddessKiana
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    GoddessKiana "Right fucking now", it's Dominate for "please"

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    I don't think one has to allow him to sleep with a friend just to be allowed to sleep with another man. Who is running the relationship here? What type of relationship do you all have as in agreements?

    This doesn't seem to be a good manipulation to me. Seems like hubby has too much control. Just my thoughts on the matter.
     
  11. Jason Webb
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    Am just commenting how the male brain is wired. Yeah, am a traditional testosterone-fueled guy. But strictly monogamous, wouldn't even want my GF giving attention to another girl. So my views of other types of relationships are skewed and biased. I can't seriously claim that what I said is true, its just what I feel like, patriarchal society or not.
     
  12. Precarious PET
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    Precarious PET Long term member

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    Your husband is the luckiest sub ever!
    This to me is the ultimate level of love and submission to the superior female.
    In my dreams my KH would chose whatever lover(s) she wished and I would be there to hold her in the morning and tell her how amazing she is… Sadly I do not have this but thankful for those of you who do and make it work…
    gives me hope.. and naughty things to think about!
    Enjoy and be safe
    PET
     
  13. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    Open marriages.... each bringing friends home,.. watching each other with others... poly relationships

    All sound great even tried the poly marriage myself... not always it is after all the exceptions that prove the rule as they say but generally each of the four options above usually ends up with a couple of newly created singles.

    I wish you all the luck in the world but don't disregard the dangers.
     
  14. thekeyholderwife
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    thekeyholderwife Active member

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    I am not trying to manipulate at all. I am just thinking out load here and trying to plant seeds that may someday grow in my favor. Sexually I run the relationship. However, sexuality is a minority part of our overall relationship and must not interfere with other parts. I could just have sex with Jens boyfriend without his consent but that isn't what I want. I have to be careful here because I never want my husband to think I don't want him and that I want other guys instead. I need him to understand that though his penis is very beautiful and quite nicely sized to do everything that I could ever want, that I want his locked because that is beautiful to me. I just want to know what it is like to have a real penis inside me from time to time while he is locked. It is something in my head. Not that my husband is inadequate. Difficult balance. When the time is right and the cards are stacked correctly it will happen.
     
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  15. Colleen1986
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    Colleen1986 Long term member

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    I hope this evolves to everyone's benefit and adds to your relationships with all concerned. Good luck.
     
  16. Metalman
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    Metalman Long term member

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    Well, I think if you tell him just that, it should be a pretty good start.
    Insecurities are in my opinion what fuels jealousy of all sorts.
    Communicating sincerely and frequently on how much you love and desire your partner is so important.
     
  17. danleft1
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    danleft1 Long term member

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    [QUOTE="thekeyholderwife, post: 145251, member: 38405" ... I just want to know what it is like to have a real penis inside me from time to time while he is locked. [/QUOTE]

    If this is the core of your thoughts, then I would as already has been suggested not have the "real penis" be your friends boyfriend. That makes too many possibilities that can go bad.
     
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  18. Metalman
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    Metalman Long term member

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    If this is the core of your thoughts, then I would as already has been suggested not have the "real penis" be your friends boyfriend. That makes too many possibilities that can go bad.[/QUOTE]

    This is not always true.

    Yes in the monogamous paradigm, cheating with friends is the worst possible thing. That's in big part because, well, you are cheating :confused:
    So knowing that not only your lover betrayed your trust but also your friend makes everything even more awful.

    But for my wife, myself, and many of our polyfriends, we came to discover that having sex with people we know, love and trust, is actually a lot nicer. She for example, like better to fuck a guy she knows and appreciate, and I like better her to be with a guy I like, and can talk and have a good laugh with.
    Rather than some random duche bag ;)

    In my opinion, relationships with people that are mostly strangers, are left outside of the relationship and so on, generate far more jealousy and insecurities.
     
  19. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B

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    What a tangled web we weave......
     
  20. danleft1
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    danleft1 Long term member

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    This is not always true.

    Yes in the monogamous paradigm, cheating with friends is the worst possible thing. That's in big part because, well, you are cheating :confused:
    So knowing that not only your lover betrayed your trust but also your friend makes everything even more awful.

    But for my wife, myself, and many of our polyfriends, we came to discover that having sex with people we know, love and trust, is actually a lot nicer. She for example, like better to fuck a guy she knows and appreciate, and I like better her to be with a guy I like, and can talk and have a good laugh with.
    Rather than some random duche bag ;)

    In my opinion, relationships with people that are mostly strangers, are left outside of the relationship and so on, generate far more jealousy and insecurities.[/QUOTE]

    I understand and partially agree with you ... but not fully ... if any of your poly friends split up (their relationship ends) then you possibly lose both in the couple or have to pick one ... so in @thekeyholderwife situation she wants both the friend and the penis, if they break up, what will she do? So for this particular situation I stick with if it is the penis that is your main goal, then find one that is not dating your friend. It can be one that she is already friends with and easily fits the pluses you have outlined of sex with people you know and enjoy for more then sex.
     
  21. Metalman
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    Metalman Long term member

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    It is true that having a romantic relationship with a friend, can cause trouble in case of break up.
    Not always, but it can certainly happen.

    Now if I refer to the original post by @thekeyholderwife, she is not talking about a romantic relationship.
    She is considering fucking the friend, which is quite different.

    Now it certainly requires good communication among everyone involved, to make sure everyone is on the same page.
    But other than that, I don't really see a problem.
     
  22. danleft1
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    danleft1 Long term member

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    Sorry, I took her saying ... "In any case Jen has been seeing a guy" ... to mean that there was a relationship (between Jen and a Guy), but you are right that may not be the case.
     
  23. thekeyholderwife
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    thekeyholderwife Active member

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    Let me clarify. Jen and I are best friends and we have been "together" since highschool and through college. Meaning I swing that way too. She and I are bi sexual always have been. So now you have that part. Jen and I share a lot and have shared boyfriends before (hold your judgment please). She now has a very nice boyfriend who she says is a great lover and has invited me to enjoy him. Now, I have not indulged yet because I respect my husband and if he said no, that would be the end of it. He hasn't said no though. We have talked about it and has yet to say yes. With him...that is promising! However, I am being careful because I love my husband and not her boyfriend.

    Now since she is offering him to me (assuming he would want to) there is no problem there. If he tried to pull something with me I would quit having sex with him and she would probably dump him for being a jackass. She knows I am no threat to her.
     
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  24. starflyer
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    starflyer Junior Member

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    I think you are so cool
     
  25. ChasteHubby2015
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    ChasteHubby2015 Male Feminist

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    I respect chastity, but I can't imagine how painful it would be for me to know another man is touching my wife. Not being judgmental, that's just me and so if that works for you guys, then great, just remember he may not be crazy about it deep down no matter how much he wishes to please you.
     
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