A Sudden New Interest

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by GenderRolls, May 1, 2015.

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  1. GenderRolls
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    GenderRolls Member

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    Though I'm mainly dominant with my wife, I have been into a lot of femdom stuff for a long time. Ballbusting has always been my biggest turn-on; I enjoy several other femdom kinks but chastity never really appealed to me. My story begins with that changing rather quickly.

    Sunday, April 19: Feeling bored and horny I started a ballbusting-centered porn blog (http://ironic-testicles.tumblr.com/). I spent way too much of the following week porn blogging.

    Friday, April 24: Perhaps inspired by all the chastity stuff I'd been scrolling past, it occurred to me as an idle thought that my wife could lock me in chastity. It was sort of fun to think about, and as I drove to work I daydreamed about different aspects of it. At one point I remembered that she would be out of town for a week this summer, and the thought followed that I would be locked for that whole time.

    This thought produced the most intense reaction I've experience in a long time. My mind felt at once aroused, afraid, and at peace. I got a deep, sudden sinking feeling in my stomach and my testicles rapidly retracted. I realized then that I was onto something.

    That evening, I proposed the idea to my wife. She was surprised, but quite open-minded, and had a few questions: what are the medical risks, according to actual physicians and not kinksters? I sometimes agree to follow some rule as a condition for some allowance and then resent her for enforcing the rule; will this turn into another one of those? We talked a little, and I tried not to overwhelm her. She said she needed to think about it and asked me to take it slow. I also told her about my new porn blog, although she didn't care to look at it.

    Saturday, April 25: When my wife asked me for things, I began asking myself, What would I say if my penis were locked in a cage to which she held the key? This first resulted in my agreeing for us to get a budgeting app and record all our expenditures. This is something she's wanted for years, that I've resisted, because I hate having to follow procedures and I also like to be able to spend money discreetly now and then. However, as I imagined myself standing at a cash register with credit card in hand and genitals caged at her discretion, recording my expenses suddenly didn't seem bad at all.

    Later, I suggested that I'd tie her up that night: it's something she likes a lot, but I usually don't want to put in the effort. She was excited. We talked a little more about chastity.

    That night, I stayed up too late writing an important email that I should have written on Friday. When I finally came to bed, I was exhausted. I said I was sorry, but I really wasn't up for the ropes tonight after all. She gave a disappointed "Oh..." and got up to go to the bathroom.

    While she was out of the room, I lay there, feeling completely and totally exhausted, and asked myself, what would I do if my penis were locked up in a cage to which she had the key? I pulled myself up to sitting, got my ropes out of the bedside table, and greeted her eagerly when she returned.

    My technique was a little rusty, but I bound her, blindfolded her, and ran the Wartenberg all up and down her body. She was already gasping and twitching be the time I settled down between her legs. When she couldn't handle anymore tongue, I came up, gave her a toothy kiss on the neck, and slid easily inside her. We had wilder, more passionate sex than we'd had in a month or more, and then fell asleep together.
     
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  2. GenderRolls
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    Sunday, April 26: I spent the whole day being as nice as possible to my wife, still always checking my actions against hypothetical chastity. In the afternoon I was taking our kids to play laser tag and missed my turn. I pulled over and checked my mirrors, preparing to make an illegal U-turn. Then I asked myself, Would I make an illegal U-turn with kids in the car if my penis were locked in a cage to which my wife held the key? I changed my mind and took the next left.

    In the evening, I brought chastity up with her again, mentioning some ideas I'd had about how it would work. The two important ones were:
    --Unlocking is always at her discretion. I don't ask and I don't beg.
    --Locking is always at my request. She will never have to feel like she's making me do something I'll resent her for, because I will always ask her to lock me up so that we both constantly remember who's idea this was.

    That night, we made love with incredible intimacy, both holding each other for the entire duration.
     
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  3. GenderRolls
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    GenderRolls Member

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    I forgot, the most important event on Sunday: after discussion chastity a little more with my wife, she said "Ask me again in a week."

    I've been in self-imposed chastity since last Friday, and since we've had a busy week, Sunday was my last release (it's Friday now). It's exciting and thrilling and intimate and romantic but also a little bit maddening.
     
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  4. Surrendered to Bec
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    Surrendered to Bec Property of Bec. SLRN 281-606-394

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    I like your thinking.
    Chastity was my idea with Bec, she embraced it immediately but did offer me a chance to back out after the first 6 weeks. I put the cage back on and she closed the lock. We have no contracts or scheduled release periods. Unlocking is totally at her discretion.

    I really hope that your wife does agree to locking you. It has been a huge turning point in our marriage and we are definitely not turning back. The benifits far outway any percived drawbacks. So far I haven't found anything to count as a negative with this way of life.
     
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  5. GenderRolls
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    Sunday, May 3: Today is a big day, for several reasons.

    First, tonight marks one week since my wife told me to ask her again in a week about chastity.

    Second, I have tentative plans to meet up with a local gentleman who has offered to show me his locked cock in person and to let me borrow his old CB-2000. If it actually happens, it will be my first time seeing a device in use.

    Third, I haven't had an orgasm since last Sunday! I feel ready to burst.
     
  6. kellysbitch
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    kellysbitch Long term member

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    Good luck and give your wife all the time she needs to decide about your chastity.
     
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  7. Wendygirl
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    Wendygirl To offer advice and keep CM safe and welcoming

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    You do have the makings of a nice simple contract . Your wife has the makings of a good KH and your thinking is in the right place
    Oh meet up with a local gentleman and borrow his old device . Eeeeekkkk few questions from your wife on that potentially! !

    Why not try some of the cheep stainless steel ones from eBay ?

    I think you are onto a winner and some very interesting times. One thing I do hope is that you can find the right device that allows very long term wear. .

    Xx Wendy
     
  8. GenderRolls
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    Sunday, May 3, continued:

    Hoping not to overwhelm my wife, I didn't tell her about my plans to meet another locked guy in the afternoon. Unfortunately, I left my phone charging on the counter and she decided to look at my text messages (this is allowed in our relationship for reasons I won't go into here). That freaked her out a little, but she became relieved as I explained that it was purely an information-gathering expedition.

    The meeting went well. He showed me the metal device he was wearing, and offered me to try on his freshly sanitized knock-off CB-6000. I put it on with a little effort and wore it home.

    This freaked my wife out a little more, especially when I put the key on a string. I realized that I was getting carried away and needed to slow down, and that even just using the device for a little T&D foreplay was more than she was ready for. After I took the device off, she expressed concern with the marks it left on my penis.

    I reflected on my thoughts and actions of the past week, and realized again that not obsessing over chastity is as important as not orgasming without her. This turns out to be the harder part for me, since I tend to obsess over new interests.

    By the time we were in bed together, she was both mentally and physically worn out. I began the delicate dance of foreplay without insistence, gradually working her up to a passionate thirst. We made love, simply but satisfyingly; she came first and minutes later I exploded insider her.
     
  9. Wendygirl
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    Wendygirl To offer advice and keep CM safe and welcoming

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    Coo you got away with that definitely husbands meeting guys is 99% of the time very much out side the box for wives and GF.

    Any ways seems all is not lost just calm down a bit.

    Love the last paragraph nice turn of phrase.
    Xx Wendy
     
  10. GenderRolls
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    Thank you all for your feedback and likes. I am learning a lot from all of you, and it's gratifying to know that somebody cares to read what I write here.

    Monday, May 4: I had a little time to myself after my wife left for work in the morning. I tried the CB on again, with more lubrication and a larger ring than last time, and got quite a comfortable fit. Then, as an experiment, I watched some porn and stimulated the various erogenous zones that were still exposed. My caged monster protruded forward from my body and a glob of glans and foreskin bulged from the pee hole, but however I tried I was not getting an erection nor stimulating my penis in any meaningful way. There was no way I was having an orgasm.

    After a bit of that, I took the cage off, and to my surprise it took some effort to become erect. Nonetheless, I got myself hard and stroked to orgasm. It was the first time I'd masturbated in a week and a half, and though I'd ejaculated during intercourse 12 hours before I came much stronger than I typically do on my own.

    When I came home in the evening, my wife was already lying in bed. I sat down at the foot of the bed and started to massage her feet. “Are you wearing that thing today?" she asked.
    “No!" I said, “although I did wear it for a bit this morning."
    “Yeah, the grapeseed oil by the sink was a giveaway."
     
  11. Wendygirl
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    Wendygirl To offer advice and keep CM safe and welcoming

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    Lol
    Now big question is was " are you wearing that thing "? Said with a smile ?? Or a sour face.?

    Former that could be your last playtime the latter, you have some work to do .

    Xx Wendy
     
  12. Surrendered to Bec
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    Surrendered to Bec Property of Bec. SLRN 281-606-394

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    With regards to a cage, The aesthetics had a lot to do with Bec accepting it on me. She looked at various models when we were looking for a better cage and we both agreed that we didn't like the appearance of the CBxxxx range. They looked clunky.

    Maybe you need to involve her in the choice of a cage. I don't know how you would go about it but I feel that to get her really into it it needs to be joint decision.
     
  13. GenderRolls
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    Wednesday, May 6: I jerked off in the morning, and then felt stupid and depressed afterward. When my wife and I had both gotten home from work, she could tell I was feeling bad; she offered me a blowjob but that just made it worse. Instead, I took her shopping: to a bra boutique where we got her two perfectly-fitted super-high-quality bras. She felt great, and I felt better. We cuddled to sleep at night.
     
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  14. Wendygirl
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    Wendygirl To offer advice and keep CM safe and welcoming

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    Lol I think it's time your wife had a her own profile on here.

    I am sure a few KH would set her right that when she gets home and her boy is a bit crestfallen ,he has been up to no good and a bj is not a sutable reward.

    However the bra shop was a nice idea so some good came out of your guilt.

    Let that be a lesson to you. If you had time on your hands then household chores should be first on your list of things to do .
    Have a chat to @jemima she will set you straight on things to do round the house.

    Xx Wendy
     
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  15. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    @Wendygirl giggle, it no good him ask me Wendy cos hes a man and not a maid and that little thingy in his hand in his piccy is a raspberry, giggle.
     
  16. GenderRolls
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    GenderRolls Member

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    A bit of catching up:

    Saturday, May 9: We made love. I don't remember the details.

    Monday, May 11: I took a risk and ordered some dresses from a company overseas, hoping that at least one or two of them would fit my wife and that she'd like them. I got things I was pretty sure I would find attractive, which is something she likes. I didn't tell her, but she got suspicious after I asked about her measurements and then later was on the phone with the door locked. She said she thought maybe I was getting her a secret present. I said sorry, I wasn't, and made up some excuses.

    Thursday, May 14: After my going out of my way to take care of almost everything all week, she interfered with something I was working on in the evening in a way that set me way back. I got really frustrated and mad, although I controlled my anger and told her repeatedly I wasn't mad at her. We were both feeling hurt and sad when we got into bed, and talking wasn't helping. So I told her that I had, in fact, gotten her a secret present. She got really excited and pounced on me; I immediately felt better now that she was happy and in to me. We had great sex and fell asleep together.
     
  17. ChastityControl
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    ChastityControl New member

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    Hey GenderRolls- about time for an update?
     
  18. Felix cum ea
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    Felix cum ea Vanilla Chaste

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    @GenderRolls You wrote a very interesting thread so far, Thank you for sharing with us.

    I hope you will (or maybe already did ;) ) get what you want from this and that your fine lady also gets what she would wants to get out of your chastity.

    Speaking of that: have you ever asked her what she considers beneficial to her when you would both go for your chastity?
    I would certainly not push her for an immediate answer, but assume that this question will make her think about it and maybe convince her that it is she who decides how she wants to enjoy your chastity. Just a thought..

    Given your unique relation with you being rather dominant and she who likes to be dominated by you (at least for play); she might also be really concerned that when you both go for your chastity, that she will maybe have to lack that. That you would change your role in the play and that is possibly a little fear of her, because she likes you so much in that role (for play).

    Might be an idea to bring that up in a playful way: in some way that she realizes that you being locked up does not mean that you will not play dominant with her any more, that it would only mean that during the play or the sex after, you will give her your performance that she loves so much but then with only one minor change: you do not get to cum.
    I imagine that that could set her a bit at ease with your chastity desire: that she realizes she has not have to forsake on anything and that you will still be her dominant play partner, that you will still be as eager (or even more eager ;) ) to make love to her, to play the ropes or whatever she loves so much to do with or get from you. That the only change would be you not having an orgasm.
    Why not add that you hope that she wouldn't mind too much the fact that you do not orgasm when playing because that for you it means a lot.

    Just some ideas...

    Good luck.
     
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