What do you get out of on-line/long distance key holding?

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by chastiff, Sep 24, 2014.

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  1. chastiff
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    chastiff Long term member

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    #1 chastiff, Sep 24, 2014
    I always wondered.
    As a sub I always craved being controlled. since I don't have dominant Girlfriend/mistress, I see the appeal of an on-line key holder from my point of view.

    but allow me to invite comments from you ladies/mistresses/governesses/goddess and all the other titles that have had an on-line sub, what do you get out from it?

    do you form an emotional bond with the sub?
    how would the sub serve you?
    you give the sub the pleasure of having a mistress, but what do you get in return?

    Kind Regards,
    Chastiff
     
  2. Vinny
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    Vinny Locked up again. Starting year 6.

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    #2 Vinny, Sep 27, 2014
    Being a keyholder is work so I cannot imagine why a woman want to do this for free. If not for free, then you have the answer to your question.
     
  3. Mistress Jules
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    Mistress Jules Professional Dominatrix and Owner of Lockit
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    #3 Mistress Jules, Sep 28, 2014
    When I first started keyholding online, I got a lot out of the attention and the control. I enjoyed that I had the control over orgasms.

    However it didn't take long until the time I spent answering emails, inventing tasks, chatting on messenger etc became too much.

    What I found most difficult was that many guys seemed to think that sending me a picture of a locked cock was a good thing. Trust me, unless I ask for verification, it's not something that bothers me.

    I had been looking for the attention and connection that male chastity can give, however I found that I was more likely to get requests for sexually orientated tasks or offers to suffer sexually to please me. Sorry guys but watching you stick a butt plug in your ass or tease yourself in some other way doesn't often do much for a female.

    There is very little a guy can do to serve an online Mistress, even emails can only go so far.

    There is no going out for dinner, no time together to enjoy some non sexual contact which would build a connection.

    That is why I first put up an Amazon wishlist, you may not be able to take me for coffee but you could get me something pretty to show your appreciation of the time and effort I put in to emails, tasks, chat etc.

    If you think that you are above that and you will wait for someone who gets pleasure from locking you, good luck. I do get pleasure from locking, however as vinny said, it is a lot of work and time consuming. Even at my local fet group, if I am helping someone with something, I at least get my drinks bought that night.

    So yes, I can get pleasure from it, there can be a connection, (look at Lockit and I) but there is very little you can offer an online/long distance keyholder that isn't going to have you spending money.
     
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  4. Mascara^Snake
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    Mascara^Snake Banned

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    #4 Mascara^Snake, Sep 28, 2014
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2014
    Although I agree mostly with what Jules has written, I have to say that in my experience there are numerous ways that an online sub can serve you including 'Online research'. As a Personal assistant might. For example searching for deals for flights and hotels when you travel. That can make significant savings in both time and expense. Also things like looking for clothing or accessories that might interest you. He can find you that style of shoe or handbag that he's been trained to identify. Sales of brands you're interested in or even find you the perfect waterfront restaurant to dine at..wherever you might be.
    I think the services an online sub is capable of rendering are really only really limited to ones imagination. ;-)
     
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  5. chastiff
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    chastiff Long term member

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    #5 chastiff, Sep 28, 2014
    Thanks.
    this gives me some ideas how i can use my skills to be useful to a future KH

    Regards,
    Chastiff
     
  6. Vinny
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    Vinny Locked up again. Starting year 6.

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    #6 Vinny, Sep 29, 2014
    The submissives that do as you suggest are called travel agents and stylists. :) Men want to be sexually dominated by women and have specific things that turn them on. As a Mistress you probably do as others, and ask the sub what he likes and dislikes, if you can push his limits and even down to which kind of impact implements he prefers. Wood, leather, bamboo, crop, switch, whip, paddle, etc.. Few seek a Mistress and are happy to do things that do not sexually excite them, at least for any appreciable length of time. They do exists though but they are exceptions to the rule. I never met a Pro Mistress who could make a living without providing any sexual element, if even if just to order the sub to scrub the floors naked or dress as a woman. Remove the sexual element and you move from a sexual fetish to a psychological condition. :)
     
  7. Mascara^Snake
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    #7 Mascara^Snake, Sep 29, 2014
    Psychological conditioning and sexual fetish do go very well together I find ;-)
     
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  8. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B

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    #8 Mistress B, Sep 29, 2014
    @chastiff Very little except dam hard work. The online subbies I have experienced seem to forget that I have a life of my own and cannot be on call anytime they choose.
     
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  9. BlueEyes
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    BlueEyes The lifestyle pumps in my veins...
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    #9 BlueEyes, Sep 30, 2014
    You make it sound as if you make him run a travel agency. Lol! Nice touch!
    I have a name for it: Sub-way
     
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  10. Loki the Chaste
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    #10 Loki the Chaste, Oct 1, 2014
    I can't tell you about Her point of view, but I had an online Mistress for a short while. We were both in it just for fun. But there was no real connection. She put an end to it when She met a 'real' boy. And to be honest, I would have done the same had I met someone in real life. Online Keyholding can be a fun and powerful experience, but it will never have the depth of a real relationship.
     
  11. chastity_longterm
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    chastity_longterm Long term member

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    #11 chastity_longterm, Oct 2, 2014
    Its hard and i never found 1.....
     
  12. AliceInBondageLand
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    AliceInBondageLand
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    #12 AliceInBondageLand, Oct 10, 2014
    Most online subs want a lot of cybering. I find that EXHAUSTING and ultimately not something that gets appreciated once they get off.

    My method of online keyholding has mutated over time into a friendship oriented relationship with simple instructions and a lot of back and forth. Since I have slow internet, it is especially PHOTO oriented. I love seeing the creativity in daily snapshots, hearing about the ups and downs.

    I want old-fashioned letters, not chatroom one liners. I appreciate banter.

    Essentially what I get out of online keyholding is entertainment. Fun photos to my inbox every day, a minimum of work and typing for me. :)
     
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  13. chastiff
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    chastiff Long term member

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    #13 chastiff, Oct 10, 2014
    I'll write a proper reply to all the posts later (Oct is a crazy busy month)

    but slow internet?, apologies if I'm mistaken, but I thought you lived in San fran; are you not one of the lucky areas to have google fiber?
     
  14. GT-CB6000
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    GT-CB6000 Long term member

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    #14 GT-CB6000, Oct 12, 2014
    OK off on a tangent.
    What is the benefit for the locked up person. Other than being in chastity. Or is this just a silly question?
     
  15. chastiff
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    chastiff Long term member

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    #15 chastiff, Oct 12, 2014
    for me it's not knowing the release date. knowing that someone else is in control. scary and exciting feeling

    Reg,
    Chastiff
     
  16. Mascara^Snake
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    Mascara^Snake Banned

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    #16 Mascara^Snake, Oct 12, 2014
    I am supposing that he gets to practice his sexual fantasy and share his experience and sexual tension with someone who gives him the attention he craves.
     
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